my boyfriend/ex boyfriend has become addicted to pot after our break up a few weeks ago. We were together for two years and since the break up he has been spending all of his time with his friends and has now been stoned for 3 weeks straight. It has become an addiction as after he told me he really wants to stop a few hours earlier i had to hold him back from running to the bong when it was on offer. He wants to stop but he can't and i don't know how to help. This has lead him to drop out of university and he is on the way to becoming a drop kick. This isn't him at all and i want him to realise that he can fix it now before its too late. WHAT DO I DO!!
Well, this is terrible territory to be in. I have dealt first hand with alcoholism in the most dire stages, (several times hospitalized and close to death for dehydration/malnourishment). Weed because of it's relatively physiologically benign nature (meaning nobody ODs from its acute effacts) can get really bad psychologically before it is taken seriously. There are a lot of people who have learned to take it very seriously on CannabisRehab.org from bad personal experiences. It ruins lives. I hope some of the experienced people will respond to your post as well. For my part, I advise that if there are other people who care about your boyfriend such as friends (who don't want him to throw his life away), family, etc. that you appeal to him in some kind of intervention. This may or may not be realistic, you have to decide. If he is already willing to make a change but is having trouble doing it, tell him to go to an AA or NA meeting. This may seem drastic, but it is not. There are often either trained professionals associated with meetings or the great support system of recovering addicts who have been helping each other with hard fought first-hand experiences for many, many years. These are people he (and you) can talk to and they understand what it takes to fight your way out of a room where the walls feel like they are closing in. It might take time and multiple relapses but those who continue to try, can and do succeed. If the university you go to or that he went to offers addiction couselling that could be somewhere to start as well. These services will strive to help him maintain his dignity and anonymity, as those are reasons that people don't look for formal help. If you care about him and it seems like you do, don't ignore the situation or help him make excuses like this is just a phase I'm going though, everything's alright, etc. Everything isn't alright unless it truly is...losing higher education opportunities and any other dysfuntion in his life that you notice and can point out will back you up on this without appearing to attack him and his freedom to make his own choices. Take care and good luck. Research other sources online, talk to a trusted and mature older adult (forgive me if this sounds patronizing I don't know how old you two are), or mental healthcare professional or go to an AA/NA meeting with him to lend your support. Lots of luck and love.
If he has only been smoking pot for a few weeks then I personally probably wouldn’t necessarily say he has an addiction to pot just yet, I personally think it probably takes a bit longer than that for addiction to set in, but perhaps it depends on how you define it, I suppose if in doubt the old American psychological associations test is probably the best judge of all, who knows how long it can take to fulfil the criteria. But anyway semantics and classification aside it’s sounds like the way he is behaving at present could well be a very slippery slope and heading for trouble, if he’s not an addict now if he carries on with such an intense amount of use he probably will be, it’s probably not that uncommon for some people to hit the bottle or the bong quite hard for a few weeks after a break up, but after a few weeks it really is the time to try and get it together and sort yourself out, as I say you don’t want to carry on like that for too much longer or you could well fall into a life of addiction, so I completely understand and agree with your concern, it’s something that is indeed best to try and stop as soon as possible.
As to what you can do, that is a tough one as to be honest as much as we can give people a nudge in the right direction the person usually does have to want to quit for themselves, apart from perhaps the situation of a parent caring for a minor, it is indeed a fairly hard thing to force onto somebody, especially as you are no longer with him, you could perhaps try some sort of intervention type tactic, or maybe talk to some of the people who are close to him (who don’t use pot) about your concerns and see if they can do anything to help, like I say these people may have more influence on him at present than you do, so I personally would probably try and go through that route first and see how that goes.
Take care, thanks for posting and please keep us posted on how it goes.
All the best
Cannabis Rehab Admin (formerly known as BFB)
Drug Rehabilitated for 8 years.
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The post does not say he has only been smoking for a few weeks. It says he has started using heavily after the break up of a relationship and he has been stoned for three weeks straight. I'm not being argumentative I just wanted to point that out. I do agree, however, that it is characteristic to want to get f·€#ed up after a break up, and can just be someone cutting loose, as long as they don't have any pressing responsibilities that would make such a course of action overly destructive to their life (I guess any more self-destructive than doing a lot of drugs and alcohol are inherently!). Anyway, I hope things get sorted out unregistered and that you found what you were looking for in order to help. Take care.
I have a similar problem. My partner has been a heavy user for over 10 years now and has lied to me on numerous occasions about quitting since we have been together. Since then I have done quite a lot of research into it and how to support his getting off it and have found a few things that I have encouraged him to start -
The first is group therapy. Sometimes people who have just started smoking it don't realise how potentially destructive it can be to their lives and those around them. By talking to people further down the line he might see just how destructive it can be. IF he is addicted he can also talk to people who can help him through personal experience rather than through theoretical knowledge. Most council sites have these help groups listed and they maintain privacy.
The second is councilling. In his case, as in many others, there are often very prominent underlying problems that are causing the persons reaction. If they deal with those first, they might find an alternative way to deal with the stresses and strains in their everyday lives rahter than running away from them. Doctors, without being told Too much dedtail can refer people to a good and Free councilor if you are experiencing problems.
The third was slightly more of a suprise to me. Alternative therapies, such as accupuncture help to relax the mind and deal with stress. There is also a new cure that may/ may not help which involves a seed. Its very odd, but apparently works to help people deal with addictions...