Well, here we are on day 21. I am pretty much feeling back to normal again. I sometimes getting fleeting moments of mild anxiety, but they pretty much come and go without much fanfare. My appetite is back, I am sleeping through the night, although I am still taking a couple of Valerian based supplements before bed. The past 3 days I have actually started feeling happy again.
I because very spiritual when I was high, I would sit in nature and soak it in and really felt close to the Earth, and to God, I have started feeling this again now while sober, and I am so grateful that it wasn't just an effect of the drug. I am still keeping an open mind that the anxiety may visit from time to time, and that I might have a bad day here and there, but my outlook is changing. I am no longer fearful of the future, and I fully intend to live my good days to the best of my ability. I am reminded of a quote...
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said:
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
I think this is something we should all think about. When we have a bad day, we should have a bad day, and let it pass, when we have a good day, we should enjoy it for what it is, a good day. If we spend all of our days worrying about what tomorrow might bring, we have lived an entire life of worry, how is that any way to live?
Sometimes I feel like there is nothing but "Right Now", everything else is either a memory, or a thought about the future, "Right Now" Is all there really is.