This is my 4th day sober and I'd have to say my worst yet. Day 1 was tough, day 2 better and day 3 I thought I'd cracked it. "That was easy" I thought.
Then bang - today I've been so low.
Issues I thought I had dealt with a long time ago (stoned) all surfaced today and I just couldn't shake them off. I'm desperate for a good cry but I just can't seem to.
I don't want to smoke, I'm not tempted, I'm not remotely interested - I just can't understand why I'm feeling so emotionally raw. I guess I'm just having to deal with stuff in a very 'real' way for the first time in years.
I never imagined for a second it would be this way, I knew I'd have a couple of sleepness nights but I never dreamed I'd feel so vulnerable. I totally underestimated what my habit was masking.
I want to ask you all, when does it end but I know there is no answer to that question, it's as pointless as how long is a piece of string.
Anyway, I'm glad I have this place to talk and I hope you are all doing good. x
Then bang - today I've been so low.
Issues I thought I had dealt with a long time ago (stoned) all surfaced today and I just couldn't shake them off. I'm desperate for a good cry but I just can't seem to.
I don't want to smoke, I'm not tempted, I'm not remotely interested - I just can't understand why I'm feeling so emotionally raw. I guess I'm just having to deal with stuff in a very 'real' way for the first time in years.
I never imagined for a second it would be this way, I knew I'd have a couple of sleepness nights but I never dreamed I'd feel so vulnerable. I totally underestimated what my habit was masking.
I want to ask you all, when does it end but I know there is no answer to that question, it's as pointless as how long is a piece of string.
Anyway, I'm glad I have this place to talk and I hope you are all doing good. x
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