All in the garbage

[doublehaze]

I've been smoking for 25 years.

I've been trying to cut down for the last year, trying to smoke only on week-ends, trying to break, all without success.

I just threw everything in the garbage, a quarter pound of dope, my bongs, my stash box, my grinders, pipes, rolling paper, everything.


I expect not to sleep very well tonight. I will try not to resort to other substances like alcohol. F*ck, this will be hard.

I have an addictive personality, not only for drugs but also for sex, ****, affection. I guess I need to get rid of all addictions but I figured that pot should be the first as it seems the worst of them all.


Anyways, since I don't have much support from anyone, I figured I should tell strangers on this board....

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Good on you..and welcome!

Yay for you matey...when I stopped, I couldn't bear to throw my dope out, so I smoked myself silly until it was all gone!!! I can't imagine the will power it took to chuck that much mj out...that will stand you in good stead, I'm sure. I'm glad u found this site, cos I and others will tell u that it has been the difference between making the change and staying an addict....u have support now, trust me...as much as u want.

So don't feel like u have to do it alone..we will be here for you whenever u need us and our greatest wish for u is ur success in this. It's scary, but I don't think its as scary as staying in that cycle..I think u know what I mean...its endless and pointless and destructive.

Believe in yourself..please..and never be scared to share how ur feeling. Nobody on here will judge u and we all understand mate...if u'v read the posts u'll know that we're in this together and support each other, egg each other on and offer encouragement when we need to...Its a lot of people's major support system for quitting and I really hope it becomes yours as well..so lean on us...and congratulations on making the decision to change ur life. Peace.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi doublehaze welcome to the forum.

Well done on your decision to quit. Throwing all your dope related things away including dope shows a serious commitment to quit, well done I am sure you will succeed. Cutting down doesn’t work for everyone. I hope we can offer the help and support you need.

Thanks for sharing and please keep us posted on how it goes.

Take care

[doublehaze]

I went to sleep last night without the usual night snack, you know, the munchies. I did not drink either. I had the worst night of sleep in many years. I was restless.


The day was quite ok, I was busy a work but I felt like if I hadn't slept at all. I figured that it would be a good idea to skip the afternoon cup of coffee.

Tonight, I only had a cup of green tea and I'm about to go to bed. I'm very tired but I don't expect to sleep either.

It's weird because sometimes my face becomes red and sweaty? Is that common?

Throwing a quarter of a pound might seem a lot but I am unlucky enough to have virtually unlimited access to high quality weed. This is the hard part. Just today, I was given a couple of pound of DP flo. I declined the donation. Temptation will be everywhere. I just need to keep it out of the house, entirely. Access is just too easy.

I thought about giving it to a compassion club but again, I'm just not sure if it would really be good compassion. And I don't even want it in my possession. And what should I do, tell the guy to give it on my behalf? I'm certain it would never get there anyways.

Anyways, thanks for the support. I'll keep you posted.

[doublehaze]

There I go, day 3. I'm just out of the bookstore and had the urge to smoke one going back home. It's a good thing I don't have any, I might have fell off the wagon. It's for my own good, my health. I can hear my lungs wheezing more than ever. Maybe I should use that as a reminder to keep on going. ****, why can't tofu have the effect of pot without the addiction and the induced laziness???

Nature sucks...

But on the upside, my day of work was very productive... I felt awake even before my cup of coffee...

[doublehaze]

Oh the bad reflex is still there

On Thursday night, I was working at my computer, was caught in deep thoughts. I got up mechanically, went to the garage, where I used to keep all my the drug and bongs. When I entered the garage, I woke up and remembered that I had thrown everything in the garbage can. Had I not, I would have smoked that night.

It's been 19 days now.

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Its scary, huh? That saying about old habits dying hard is so true!! The fact that we can still automatically revert to what we did before...that our brain is still caught in the old patterns...I'm so glad u didn't have any pot there! Well done mate, on making it to day 19!

[doublehaze]

22 days and holding strong. Almost no more lung wheezing. I feel more productive than I have been in a long while.

Many thanks to all the nice people on this forum.

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Yay u!!!

A big thumbs up mate...well done!! Ur into ur 4th week now..thats awesome! Congratulations buddy

[doublehaze]

And I fell off the wagon last Thursday. The ambiance had not been too good at home since the beginning of the week. I felt frustrated, mad and weak. I woke up Friday morning, all dazed from the previous night. I wasn't proud of myself. I haven't smoke since then.
It would have been 4 F!!king weeks tomorrow. Stupid pot, stupid me. Now the counter is back to 3 days.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Don’t worry double haze we have all been there, relapsing can be part of quitting, most of us have been there at some point. The main thing is that you get back on the wagon, that’s what really counts, today is a new day. We appreciate your honesty, thanks for sharing.

Take care

[TheDude]

Keep going, Doublehaze. I feel for you. I am 6 months in and am craving the drug like crazy. It's scary as hell.

I was never a pound type guy, I would buy quarters of dro, skunky weed, and stretch it out as far as possible. But I managed to stay high most of the time I wasn't at work or with my GF.

We can do this.

[needabreak]

its hard not to feel bad-its hard not to think that all the good pot free time was wasted wen u feel like ur back wer u started-i made a bollox of it last week too and feel guilty, broken and down in the dumps cause i keep getting drawn back to the very thing that makes me feel down-

i'm trying again now-today is day 3-counting days is pointless but thats how my brain works so i have to go along with it-for me its a setback-wat advice would u give to me-often times we can see th positive for others and yet be so down on ourselves -try not to feel it-u did nearly 4 weeks-ther'll be another 4 weeks to talk of in a few weeks time-the same for me-

sometimes it all gets too much and its there and we think just this once and we'r off and running-in the wrong direction-i totally sympathise with u doublehaze-but despite this setback we can both make it-its tough-we know that-but inside its who we want to be-backing u up dude and hoping it works out-

u had a blip-and u feel it-so do i-use it to move u forward-and good luck-

[doublehaze]

Thanks all of you.

It is very hard. I need really need to keep out of the contexts where I am most vulnerable. I don't keep anything at home so When I have the reflex, I don't have it ready and don't crave enough to go after it. But last thursday I had a bad week and my body and I went for a few beers and there was the sun, some fun, women undressed from their winter clothes, he offered some hash and before I knew it, I was taking hits from a pipe filled with sweet Jamaican hash. 5 days before I had the feeling I would never smoke again. I now know that I must be extra careful around people who smoke. I really felt cheap. I felt like I let my family and myself down. I felt like an unwilled pothead.

I guess the best advice I can give myself is to stay away from people who are in possession of pot and if I can't, avoid alcohol or any other mind altering substance while in the presence of pot. Try to stay mentaly present and mindful of my feelings and if the urge arises again, I'll go take a walk and think about what I am about to do.


But anyways, I'm on today I'm on day 4 with only a night partying on hash, which is still a BIG improvement from what I ever did over the last 25 years... At that rate, pot or hash would never have become a problem. But until I can say no, it will remain a problem even if I only smoke it once a year.

[doublehaze]

Here I am, 37 days after quitting, except for that accident about 2 weeks ago. I have since then, reduced coffee to a small cup every second day, I have gone further into my meditation practice, I have deepened my knowledge about cravings, I have restarted a yoga practice at Bikram's yoga (Yoga at 42C). I am also trying to get rid of sugar cravings. Sex is becoming better but orgasms are not up to where they were with pot. I guess the orgasm strength contributed to my addiction to cannabis. I am learning to have sex without any substance. It feels kind of weird.

But none of this is easy. I still don't feel confident to offer any advice to other as I feel that I am still kind of addicted. Until then, the only thing I can say is that there is a way to stop pot and live happy. With time, whether we take drugs or not, our brains become attached to many cravings. Look around you, our society teaches us to crave, hot chicks, drugs, money, booze, thrills, victory, cars, sex, movies, good food. Our society, our capitalist society is based on cravings. We are the produce, me and you , of this society. But there is a way out.