finding things tough without cannabis

[tough times]

Hi everyone,
I smoked pretty heavily for about 10yrs, met my girlfriend and quit for 3-4 months. Anyway things are really difficult, the relationship is quite stressful with a lot of arguments (mainly about smoking). I fell off the waggon and am now trying to cut down and quit. I don't smoke every day like I did or as much as I did but my girlfriend is on at me all the time to stop for good. Could just do with some advice cos really finding everything so difficult....

[tough times]

crumbled like a loser, feel so week and pathetic for giving in (its driving me nuts)...need to sort it out, just the only thing that feels like it relaxes me

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Believe in yourself...we do.

Hey Tough Times,

We've all been there mate...please don't be so hard on urself. Ur not a loser and ur not pathetic. It's a really really hard process and when I crumbled, I felt the same way..and I crumbled for similar reasons, I think...it was how I dealt with things...all things...but I don't think its a relaxation thing....its about escaping for me...or was...can't say for you tho. Pot stopped calming me down a long time before I quit, I was just too disjointed to realise it. I started this detoxing thing (and not for the first time) over 6 weeks ago now, but a couple of weeks into it, I caved...just couldn't handle my reality...if u check my posts u'll get it...but I got back with the program and have been completely pot free for 3 1/2 weeks...it feels so good mate...it will for you too. But u have to do it for the right reasons and you really really need support....there's a place on CannabisRehab.org where u can find organisations where u live..and there's lots of tips for how to go about giving up and what to do to avoid a relapse...this rehab group is a complete lifesaver. I'v lost count of the amount of times I have gone on here feeling like I was just not up to this (sound familiar?) and whether I posted something or not, it always helped. Just hang in there. One of the most destructive things about pot is what it does to ur self esteem...it makes u feel like nothing...it messes with ur head badly...it gives u a very distorted perception of reality. I've found that one of the best things about CannabisRehab.org is that no matter what ur going thru, people understand and they really do want to help and support you thru it. I'm sorry to hear about the stress with ur gf...if she's not a smoker it must be hard for her to understand exactly how much it takes to conquer pot for some people..perhaps u cud suggest she has a look at some posts too, so she has some insight into the struggle??? I would like to encourage you to please keep us posted...no matter how ur doing and please no that we'r all on ur side and nobody here is thinking or feeling anything but concern for you and a desire to help u thru this. You've taken an important step by coming on here and sharing with people and I congratulate you for that. You can do this, you really can. We won't give up on u so please don't give up on urself. Just know we're here whenever u need us and take heart from the fact that ur not alone and it is possible to win..it really is. Peace.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi tough times welcome to the forum.

Don’t worry about falling off the wagon we have all been there, it’s all part the quitting process, we can’t change the past, what we can change is the future, you can get back on the wagon if it’s what you want. Just take it one day at a time.

Thanks for sharing, take care and please keep us posted on how it goes.

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

Thanks for your kind words of support guys...it means a lot to know other people care and understand. Still finding things tough at the min.
My gf is quite supportive about it, she does smoke sometimes with me. Its just she has said she really don't want a life of me smoking if we were to have kids and settle down which is fair enough if she don't want that. I don't want that either and would like not to be doing it by then too. Before when i'd go and smoke she was splitting up with me and it was a bit of a viscous circle. Now she can see I am making more of an effort its a bit better but still quite stressful. The thing is I'm not sure if i'm a 100% ready to detox for good and the thought of never smoking again is hard to think of, i'd like to get to a point where it was just a very occasional thing but am trying to do it now. I know you have to want to do it for yourself but I do love her and wanna make it work. We have both had a lot of stress in our lives but I constantly feel like I let her and me down when I even have a few pulls. It's a nightmare really. Anyway I was wondering if anyone could give me a link to the mental techniques you can use to help, you know the tapping one where you repeat stuff to yourself....that looked quite interesting lol.

Thanks again, Peace x

[Drug Rehab Chick]

http://www.articlecity.com/articles/...cle_3465.shtml

Above is the addy for a thing called Mindfullness....my drug psychologist has been working with me on it and I find it really helps....its a bit more complex than what is in the article and I have a cd that u listen to to guide you through the excercises...its basically a way of allowing yourself to feel the negative emotions and acknowledge the thoughts without them engulfing you....this takes a lot of practice, but it works really well if you keep at it...I can now do the excercises without listening to the cd most times....when things get overwhelming it just doesn't work without it...so I use it when I need to...along with this forum. Its based on the work of the same guy from the site and I highly recommend it...sorry I couldn't help you more buddy! There's a lot more to it that just the excercises too cos u learn to analyse your thoughts and the lies you tell yourself and replace them with logic and truth.

Just like to add that quitting pot is a true grieving proccess..or at least it was for me...sometimes I still have trouble with the whole never having another smoke thing, but I quickly get over it by reminding myself that yes, its sad that I'm one of the people who can't just have an occasional j, but the reality is I'm not...I'm an addict...and up to this point, it hasn't been hard to remember what that meant for my life....such as it was...which was pretty damn awful in every aspect. I think thats the thing to keep in mind...we'v all had people in our lives that for one reason or another we'v had to say goodbye to, regardless how we feel about them, cos its a destructive relationship...it caused more problems than it solved...whatever the reason, we're betta off without them..its the same with pot...if u have to say goodbye, no matter that its hard, you know its for the best...its still gonna be a grieving proccess tho...everybody on here knows about the buzz and the escape you can get..there's no point lying about it...but if its controlling your life it ceases to be fun any more.

[doublehaze]

Hey Hippy,


I see that I am not the only one using it...


Mindfulness is the second for of meditation I have used. I started learning it last year with this e-book. It is called mindfulness in plain english

Mindfulness in plain english from urbandharma.org


I also just enrolled last week in a 10 day vipassana (insight or mindfulness) retreat. It is 10 days of silence and meditation. The goal is to stop the brain chatter in order to be able to see things as they really are and not how we interpret them. 10 hours of meditation each day. Although I practice meditation on a regular basis now, I want to take it to an other level.

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Thanx so much for that!

Thank you mate...I was having trouble finding a website that would explain it properly! I haven't done research on the web for it really..its all been thru the drug psychologist...I find it brilliant.

The cd I have has 4 excercises (15-20 mins) and I started off listening to it every day..sometimes several times a day if I needed it..took a while before I could really concentrate on them and not allow the thoughts I was thinking to just sweep in and overtake it all...would love to get into it further but don't have time atm...too much on!

But the analysing thoughts part has been truly invaluable for me...there's just so much negative stuff we tell ourselves that simply isn't true isn't there? And a pot addled brain is not logical...its not truthful..its just mixed up! Same goes for an anxious or depressed brain..it was a revelation for me to discover that I really could change the way I thought...wasn't easy but it really puts things in perspective about how things really are instead of the "its the end of the world and I just can't cope" thinking that I'v become so used to.

I really think it would help others here, so I hope they follow ur link!