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Hi all,I am 34 and have been using since my last year at high school.That makes it 18 years.F*** to sit here and say that out loud is shocking.I have never felt I had A Problem.Its only a recreational thing I did.It expanded my mind,made me appreciate music and bought my friends and I closer.I Thought.
While I watched my friends progress with thier lives,start families and achieve better jobs I could still not see what I was doing was stopping me achieve all the things they were achieving.They were uncool,growing old too soon.I probably would never stop using cause I was allways happy with my life and what I was doing.Slowly contact with these friends that I thought were uncool dwindled and my group of friends was reduced to a handful of smokers that I could relate to.Some of these friends quit,moved on,had families of their own.Suddenly I realised even some of these friends could not be around me.Thier problem I thought.My friends that burnt and I were still the cool ones.Jobs came and went along with partners I had.Not the jobs for me,or the right partners.Then last October a relationship of 3 years ended and I spiralled into a world of isolation.Christmas came and went like it didnt exsist and I became unable to carry out my job to a satisfactory level and I was pushed out because of my lack of dedication.No money,no partner and a family fed up with dealing with my mood swings and general bad attitude meant I spiralled even further.With no money I began stealing to pay for my habit.Then at the end of May I reached rock bottom.I am very lucky and after a plea to my parents to help,they came and rescued me from certain disaster.It has been 6 days now.I am starting to see the changes allready.A clearer more positive perspective of my life.I can now see a positve path that my life can take.A reason for being here.The nasty,lying,angry person that I was.I am lucky to have a forgiving family.It is early days but I dont want to use ever again,and I plan to never use again.EVER..!!!For those that are considering to quit,this is the first step to changing your life.To be a better person.To achieve what others around you are achieving.I have wasted years and 10s of thousands of pounds on something that was close to destroying me.My dad once told me that you have to give up smoking one day,cause eventually it will kill you.Might aswell do it today.He was right and I wish I had listerned to him when I was in my teens.I look forward to speaking to other members here.I still need help, as I say it is early days and Im sure I have some tough times ahead.I am here to tell my story,for support and help others with their addiction.Take care...Seph
While I watched my friends progress with thier lives,start families and achieve better jobs I could still not see what I was doing was stopping me achieve all the things they were achieving.They were uncool,growing old too soon.I probably would never stop using cause I was allways happy with my life and what I was doing.Slowly contact with these friends that I thought were uncool dwindled and my group of friends was reduced to a handful of smokers that I could relate to.Some of these friends quit,moved on,had families of their own.Suddenly I realised even some of these friends could not be around me.Thier problem I thought.My friends that burnt and I were still the cool ones.Jobs came and went along with partners I had.Not the jobs for me,or the right partners.Then last October a relationship of 3 years ended and I spiralled into a world of isolation.Christmas came and went like it didnt exsist and I became unable to carry out my job to a satisfactory level and I was pushed out because of my lack of dedication.No money,no partner and a family fed up with dealing with my mood swings and general bad attitude meant I spiralled even further.With no money I began stealing to pay for my habit.Then at the end of May I reached rock bottom.I am very lucky and after a plea to my parents to help,they came and rescued me from certain disaster.It has been 6 days now.I am starting to see the changes allready.A clearer more positive perspective of my life.I can now see a positve path that my life can take.A reason for being here.The nasty,lying,angry person that I was.I am lucky to have a forgiving family.It is early days but I dont want to use ever again,and I plan to never use again.EVER..!!!For those that are considering to quit,this is the first step to changing your life.To be a better person.To achieve what others around you are achieving.I have wasted years and 10s of thousands of pounds on something that was close to destroying me.My dad once told me that you have to give up smoking one day,cause eventually it will kill you.Might aswell do it today.He was right and I wish I had listerned to him when I was in my teens.I look forward to speaking to other members here.I still need help, as I say it is early days and Im sure I have some tough times ahead.I am here to tell my story,for support and help others with their addiction.Take care...Seph
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