This shit is a battle. A battle with myself that i need to win. I havent slept in 3 days and i feel so depressed at times. I know i cant be a casual smoker and this is scaring me. I know its because of the habit i have created. Slowly i am coming to see that i cant smoke the drug at all. I have to let go of this horrible addiction. Shit is hard as can be at the moment but i need to get my life back.!!! I have to keep strong and fight the simple ideas of temptation constructed in my brain telling me its ok to smoke once a week. Even if i do smoke once a week, i know that eventually the vicious cycle will catch up to me. Its not even a thing of not being able to control myself to just smoke once a week, its more like i dont want to have to smoke to be happy!. I dont want the drug in my life anymore. Any substance that you think is under control because you do it once a week, that is just a way for you to trick yourself into that same vicious cycle. I appreciate the responses and the support. Needabreak you're awesome man. Thanks for the insight!
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