Partner with Cannabis Problem - help

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

hello ,, i need help because my boyfriend is addicted to cannabis, and he does work to pay for it but he spends his wages in a day, and everyday hes askin me to lend money off my family, if he doesnt get any he gets very aggressive towards me, ive thought about ending my relationship many times but i dont want to as then the cannabis has won,, ive explained how i feel as i cant take any more of it, he just gets aggresive and tells me to shut up, but once he had a joint hes really loving, but i really downt want this life no more, i do love him,,
what do i do ??

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi welcome to the forum.

I can’t tell you whether you should stick with this guy or not only you can decide that for yourself, but I don’t think you should have to put up with his aggressive behaviour just because he can’t get his drugs, you should not have to go on like that and if he won’t even discuss it with you I am not sure what your chances are of resolving the issue, to make any progress he has got to want to quit.

Take care and please keep us posted

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

I think it’s time for an ultimatum and if he doesn’t quit ditch him, no one should have to put up with aggression just because someone else can’t get high.

[needabreak]

wen i didnt get it was in bad form-i needed it, i thought-its tough wen the one u love has a problem-there is no simple solution-well there is-end it-the harder option is to try and sort it out-goin by ur post its only u tryin to fix it-if a wall needs mended on both sides it takes one on each side to fix it-if ur tryin to do ur bit and he aint well i dont see much hope-

u wana try and fix it anyway-my suggestion is this-once he's spent his bit on smoke and its done tell him u cant get any money for it-and stand firm-might not be easy but i'd suggest bringing it to a head now instead of delaying it-of course it might wreck ur relationship-are u happy the way things are?do u want them to change?two people in a relationship need to be equals-i dont think he values u like u do him-

[concierge15]

i have asked my partner who has put up wit me and my addiction for nearly 6 years.her main point was that you should firmly give your boyf an ultimatum.he obviously has a problem with cannabis.but he cannot expect someone else to fund his habit.he has to live within his means.she says that you probably live in dread of him running out or not getting it like she used to with me.i still use but have learnt that my problem is my problem and i cannot make it someone elses just because they care for me.that is inexcusable.ask him if he cares for you enough to try and quit or at least attempt to control and eventually curb the rage he feels when he cannot satisfy his cravings.It is not your fault but his.if he is not willing to discuss and even attempt to change then he is not worth sticking by, especailly if you do not have an commitmwnts together such as children or a business you are both involved in.good luck

[Detox Me]

Break

He will not get better by you helping him. He can only notice what he has done if you give him a wakeup call. Real love is about sacrifice, so that advice i could give is separate from him, give him time to think about what he is doing. Call him to know how he is daily but do not cave in to getting back together. Love him but undestand this can only get worse if you stay in the same cycle.

Again this comes from my own expierience.

[cbc990]

If his drug use is affecting your life, then the cannabis has "already won." You need to decide whether you want to go down this road.

I'm sure that beside him asking you for money for his drugs, he also has other addict behaviour that you don't like.

Does he ever leave your company/house just so he can go have a smoke?
Does he come back stinky, forcing you to endure the stench?
When he can't score, does he take his irritation out on you?
Does his asking YOUR family for money risk your relationship with your own family?

You need to decide whether enduring all these hardships is worth it. Don't make excuses for him: He's a grown-up and he has to be accountable for his own actions.