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**Cannabis Rehab Admin** · 09-13-2009, 04:58 PM

Hi Patricia welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you have a great deal of insight into the nature of your situation and know what needs to be done in order to improve it, so in that respect you have the advantage and should be able to do what needs to be done, but it will take some will power. It sounds like you are at a later stage with your smoking, a stage that many of us here have found ourselves, than your partner is with his. He is still probably at that happier stage where the potential problems of smoking dope have yet to kick in, assuming that it ever will become a problem for him maybe it won’t, we can all react to it differently, I know it was like that for me for a good few years, but when they did start to kick in they did so fast and only continued to get worse until I quit, it sounds like that’s the stage you are starting to experience now. Anyway now is the time for you to act on the nature of your situation and make the changes that you need to make in order to resolve it regardless of what you partner decides to do, although it’s great that he will support you. Take the bull by the horns and do what you know you need to, I am glad you have found CannabisRehab.org helpful, we will try to give you some of the support you will need.

So good luck, take care, thanks for sharing your story and please keep us posted on how it goes, anytime you want to get something off your chest we will be here to listen, remember you are not alone there are lots of us who are going through or have been through a similar thing out there. You can do it!

All the best.

**Patricia** · 09-14-2009, 04:59 AM

Thank for for such a lovely reply. I am really touched by your kindness. I know what is ahead of me and I am trying to prepare for it in the best way I can. I'm mindful of posts here about eating well, taking exercise and looking after yourself - and that's my start point.

Right at this moment, all I feel is relief. Relief that it's all over and that I've made the first step in my recovery.

Thanks again.

**R3XXY** · 09-15-2009, 06:35 AM

Stick with it Pat !
Once you're over the hump it's all downhill from there.
I quit in january and after so long I wouldn't start again if you paid me, give
yourself time to settle in to the new lifestyle and you'll realise how much better it is than the one you left behind.

**Patricia** · 09-16-2009, 09:22 AM

Thank you so much. Well done for sorting yourself out - I can imagine how you feel. Even now, 3 days in I can see huge improvements in my quality of life and can see that as time goes on and I regain more confidence and begin to meet people and become involved in activities that those improvements will only increase.

I did something that you may think rather odd on Sunday - one day before I stopped for good. I came to see that days just passed in a blur. The essentials mostly got done but they got done in any order and usually in a panic. Eating too was hit and miss. Sometimes not eating for hours through the day but eating all night. In the past when we've tried to cut down we've been all over the place with no structure which led to anxiety which led to us skinning up. I knew I needed to address this.

So, at 54 years of age, I made myself a timetable.

I wrote down all the things that had to happen in the day and worked around them with a start and end time to the day.

It looks something like this :-

7am wake and have tea
7 meditation
8 shower, breakfast
9 dog walk
10 free time
11 work (housework, paperwork, catchup)
12 prepare and eat lunch
13 dog walk
14 free time
15 work
17 prepare and eat supper
18 dog walk
19 free time
20 work
21 free time
22 meditation
22.30 wash/bath, teeth brush
23 bed

Now, if anyone had told me to do this I would have laughed - but you know what - it's working for me. I've set alarms on the laptop to remind me when to start stuff and it feels so good - my life has a balance. I'm exercising, getting stuff done and eating properly so my blood sugar stays level.

It wouldn't work for everyone I'm sure, but, for me, and my chaotic existence, something prescriptive was just what I needed.

Monday was excellent and I didn't sleep too badly. Yesterday was hell on earth. Husband and I had misunderstanding that turned into 3 hours of arguing and tears.... most unlike us.. but we were just gentle with ourselves. It's taken years to get to this point - it's not going to be sorted in a day. And this morning we got got straight back onto the timetable and we're up and running.

And do I miss the weed? Not a bit. What IS happening however, is that my mind tells me about 100 times a day that it MUST be time to get the box out and get my fingers busy - but that's just the habit. It too will pass.

Laters.....

**R3XXY** · 09-16-2009, 07:04 PM

Good to hear you're succeeding, the more success stories we have here the better. As inspiration for all those who are making the effort to quit.

**Patricia** · 09-20-2009, 11:04 AM

And here we are.... a week later and I'm still here, still breathing, still living. The world hasn't stopped and the sun is still shining even though I believed everything might in some way end when I stopped smoking.

There have been some fairly awful bits to the week. There have been tears, wringing of hands and knashing of teeth, but the good bits have waaaaaay outnumbered the bad.

I somehow knew that the real challenge would come at the weekend and it did. But I planned as best I could and I've made it almost to the end. Yesterday we saw 'smoking' friends. We planned for it and I felt strong enough to deal with it and I did. Funnily enough , no-one asked why I wasn't smoking. I didn't appear to be the centre of the universe that I thought I might be.

Husband had two tokes and we left - I guess he's kind of enjoyed these few days away from it too. It was cool and I felt a HUGE sense of pride and achievement. Just one hurdle that has been jumped.

I went on a bike ride today. Me, husband and dog. We cycled maybe 3 miles. Not a huge distance but 3 miles more than I've done in a few long months. We took a sandwich and some coffee and sat at the edge of the sea, munching away and enjoying the views. I remembered so many times when I sat in the flat, looking out the window at all the 'normal' people, out walking and having fun and today I was there with them. I had a feeling that might almost have been described as 'bliss', and my husband said something I don't think I'll ever forget. He said, "Its weird, all those years you took a drug hoping to find some inner peace and all you had you had to do to find it was to stop taking the drug." Weird eh?

If you're thinking about stopping and you're reading this then I send to you my most positive thoughts. Plan for it and do it. You will not look back.

**Detox Me** · 09-21-2009, 07:31 PM

Great story Patricia. I wish success to you and huby. Having a structure in life is so important. At week 5 of no pot I find myself strugling cause of the dissorder, I think I am gonna do the schedule to. keep writing it helps also.

prepare for week 3 or 4 it gets rough. But remember about what you said being able to enjoy a normal life is bliss.

**boulderco42** · 03-11-2010, 07:18 PM

Wow I completely understand. I'm actually curious to see how you're doing. Did the Cannabis Coach help at all? I've tried to detox for about 2 years now and not doing very well. I'm beginning to consider some of the web/paid options online.