how long will this last.....?

[rogers1892]

This is my first post, let me explain my situation.....

I've been addicted to hash for 6 years, I'm now 32. My average daily intake was at least 6 spliffs a day, of varying degrees of strength depending on what I could lay my hands on, the past 3 months at least though has been super skunk.

3 weeks ago my girlfriend left, citing my hash abuse as one of the reasons. She said it had completely distorted my view of the world and everything in it, and I do not disagree with her for one second. We'd been on a slippery slope for a few months and the love had gone, and I'd wanted to end it sooner, but because I had grown dependant on her too, I was too afraid, too selfish even, to do so. On the 30th Aug I smoked my last spliff, and have been hash free for 17 days. By the 02nd Sept I had a total breakdown, crying, shaking, deep depression. I blame it mainly on the withdrawl and have been taken diazapam to help me. But here is my current situation.....

I'm very low, I want to cry a lot, I do not crave hash and have no physical symptoms of withdrawl anymore. I've seen a councellor who said that I had grown dependant on hash and my g/f, and now because I have neither, I'm suffering from a sense of abandonment. My mind keeps telling me I want my g/f back, even though I didn't really want her to begin with. I'm not thinking straight, I'm miserable, I'm lonely, I feel anxious, paranoia like I can't begin to explain, I think my family are hiding secrets from me, and don't want me around, there's a black cloud over my head that won't go away. Can anyone tell me if this is normal?? If so, how long will this go on for?? Before I smoked I played sports 5 times a week, and I thought after kicking the drug I would want to again, but I have no motivation to do so. How long until I feel "normal" again?? I'm seeing my counsellor again tomorrow, but just want to hear if anyone has experienced this low feeling after being off the hash for nearly 3 weeks?? I thought I'd be fine after a week maybe?? I guess I'm looking for someone to say it's ok, this IS normal, but I really don't think it is. I'm crying inside as a type, it really is that bad.....has anyone experienced this before?? I sometimes think 1 spliff might take the edge of it, but I know I'm addicted and it would lead to another and another........HELP!!! I've been told my brain won't be right again for anything up to 6 months! Is this the case??? I'm just lost.

Sorry for the whiney little bitchness of this post, I just wish I could pull my self together.

[cutfarm]

All Very Normal

What you are experiencing is VERY NORMAL. I think you will learn that everyone on here who has quit has felt the same thing. I hate to tell you this, but its probably going to last a while longer. Its different for everyone, but I am still experiencing some low days and ive been smoke free for 3 months. The get less and less intense and you know what to expect so it gets much better, I promise.

Since you are an athlete, maybe you should approach this from an athletic mind set. The obvious is to be as active as you can, no matter what your mind and your body is telling you. The hardest part is getting out the door to do it, but once you do, you will thank yourself. Im a runner, I play basketball, I golf, do yoga, so Im telling you that these activities saved my life. The lack of motivation is very normal, but you have to ignore it.

As far as coming at this from an athletic point of view:
You have to try to take this as a process of months, and know that you build every day to get better, stronger and healthier. You know from being involved at sports that you cant get good and get strong in 5 days or even 17 days. Its a process, but you have to start now and get out of the door and be active. It will make all the difference in the world.

Keep it up and know that if you smoke again, you start all over, its a temporary fix, and your body and mind will try to trick you into getting the THC back into your body. Ignore it be strong and keep moving, and keep talking to EVERYONE about this.

Roy

[R3XXY]

Dude 3 weeks is not a long time, although I know it feels like a lifetime after toking every day.
I went through some very low periods after quitting, but it does ease off with time, it will get better.
Crying can be beneficial, releasing all that bottled up emotion that you used to brush under the rug with weed.
The intensity of emotion you're experiencing is all those years of surpressed emotion surfacing all at once, no wonder that it's overwhelming.

Cutfarm is right, it's really worth pushing yourself to go out and do things you used to enjoy.
I love walking in the woods and hills, and recently sometimes I would have to sit in the car for 15 minutes after getting there and persuade myself that I had to get off my ass and do it, because I felt so despondent and would be thinking "hmmph what's the point, everything is pointless, nothing is fun anymore"
But then once I was out there I'd feel much better about everything.

Hang in there and stick at it, it's hard sometimes but worth it in the end.
Every day without getting stoned is a day where you live in the real world and are true to yourself.

This rehab group and it's users are here as a support network so use it to your advantage.

Good luck

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi rogers1892 welcome to the forum.

It’s really very hard to put a time limit on how long you will feel the psychological symptoms as a result of withdrawing from marijuana. Some people may find they feel better after a couple of months some may find it takes them about six, one guy who posted here said his psychiatrist has seen it take some people up to a year and a half. One study I read said most people feel better after a month, so it’s really hard to say.

Some people have reported that theanine has helped, so you may want to check out this post.

Anyway like R3XXY says we will be here to support you every step of the way. Well done on your efforts so far you are doing really well. Take care and please keep us posted on how it goes.

[Detox Me]

rogers
I am starting week 5 off. and I know how bad it gets to be all alone and fighting the hard emotions. Week 3 has been the worse. But on week 4 I took a 5 day hike & camp through the jungle, the extreme sport and unconfort were wonderful for the adicction. I came back home and kept hiking 1 hour a day. Also taking theamine. And its getting better.
What I am trying to say is your taking on a lot, but it does get better. try to focus on the reasons you quit, take it easy do not over think. Get active socially and phiscaly and it will pass.

stay strong!

[rogers1892]

I'm ashamed to say I got stoned last night. First time in 22 days. I found out my ex is seeing someone new already. I felt devastated. So a quick trip to dealers and bought some resin. Smoked 2 spliffs, made me feel emotionally worse, today has been sh1t and i'm unable to focus. I really thought having a smoke would temporarily numb my feelings to the hurt, but it actually made my brain think and re-think every tiny aspect of my old relationship. It's crazy, I wasn't happy with her, and new we would split eventually, but i'm in a "want what I can't have" phase, my self esteem has taking a good kicking, plus the ashamed feelings of smoking last night. It's been a long day of crying, bleek, misery today. I've booked tomorrow off work, hope it gets easier.

[Catalyst]

Hey man you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for blazing. Breakups and especially news that she's moving forward are a m-------cker. But that's what you got to do yourself, move forward. For me, recovering from this cannabis abuse has been an endorphins war as much as a psychological one. I know it sucks to not have the motivation, but if you want to beat it you got to sweat it out literally. Hike, bike, run, whatever, and especially when you feel like sht because that's when it does the most good. I think it took my brain about 2 days to realize this guy is f'n crazy he does not do sht for 10 years and now he's pounding it like he's on a jail break with 100 blood hounds on his trail. My brain realized the substitute and has given me replacement endorphins.
As far as you breaking down to smoke again, it's not really that big of a deal, you got 22 days of battles won vs one loss, the war has only just started and time is on your side. Lace em up and get out there.
Stand Fast,
Catalyst

[Detox Me]

you lost a battle but not the war rogers, I can imagine what an emotional blow the situation with your ex must have been. But remember that most of us used to hide or mask our emotions and that is why we created worlds that we didn't want in the first place. So I say cry it out! All you can man, savor the saddness, understand that your emotions have to come out. So dont mask them any more.