Smoking friends and family...

[allegory]

Hi everyone,

I've been smoking the drug for 9 years, with a few breaks here and there - once for 10 months. I'm beyond sick of it. I just wrote a massive paragraph of why I'm sick of it, but I think I'll save that for another post. I have been reading CannabisRehab.org for awhile and am really motivated to give it up for good.

One of my main problems with quitting is and always has been: family and friends. Where I live it's not really taboo or highly prosecuted. There's the drug everywhere. My parents have smoked their entire lives and see nothing wrong with it (they're separated and my mom has cut down alot). In fact, when I tell them I'm quitting and why I'm usually met with "ok, but I think it's ok... it doesn't make ME lazy... it actually makes me more productive etc etc." as if I'm personally insulting them. They're not unsupportive, they don't encourage me to smoke when I say I am quitting, but it's always there and they can't see why I am so hellbent on quitting. As soon as the words "no thanks, I'm trying to quit" come out of my mouth I feel like a bit of an outsider.

It's no help throwing out my pipe and papers to disassociate with it when my father reeks of the drug and has a few rolled up for after Sunday dinner.

How do you all deal with people you used to smoke with? What kind of reaction did you get when you quit? Do you see those people differently now?

I can't help it, but I do. I think it's a crappy way to live and when I'm not stoned it's so clear to me how they're wasting their lives (they smoke much more than I ever did). I try not to get on my high horse and I never say these things out loud. But it helps to remind myself WHY I don't need that pipeful. It's just so hard when I'm given the stinkeye by my closest friend and family. I wish they could see how much nicer things would be without it. I can't remember the last time I went out and did something normal with them. A walk to the store is a mission in their eyes let alone going to dinner or having a jog or something normal people do.

Looking forward to reading and posting more here. It is only day one for me.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi allegory and welcome to the forum.

I am going to be totally honest with you about this and call a spade a spade. It sounds like you are in a difficult position, that’s one of the things with people who use marijuana it becomes a bit of a cult, many people here have said they have had a similar reaction as if they are mad for not wanting to use drugs. That’s probably one of the reasons that the official advice for anybody who wants to give up drugs is to completely remove themselves from that culture, although when all your family do it that is easier said than done, but even if you decide not to do that then you should probably be aware of the nature of the situation, so you can best protect yourself against it, so and I am not saying this goes for all cannabis smokers but is often the case for many, no they are not going to be very supportive, yes they would probably like to see you smoking again and sometimes will actively encourage you to do so. Many marijuana smokers will see it as personally insulting them, to many the use of the drug becomes like their religion. To be honest I don’t think there’s much point trying to convert them, especially if there’s no way they are going to budge, the more you try to convert them the more they will probably try to reconvert you back, you will probably both just dig your heels in and achieve nothing, it’s probably better to just respect each other’s difference of opinion and leave it at that, you don’t need to convince them and you don’t need their approval, it’s your decision what you decide to do in your life just as it’s their decision what they decide to do in theirs.

So just be aware I know these people are those you love and mean an awful lot to you and I would never suggest that you forget that, but in this particular situation they are probably not going to be very helpful, so if you are not going to remove yourself from the situation I just think you need to be on guard and aware of it.

Anyway I am not saying you should choose between giving up drugs and your family even if that is what the experts advise, maybe they are right but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to do that, I would probably try to find some sort of middle way, I am sure you can give up one without giving up the other, I am sure if you try hard enough it is possible to find a way.

Anyway thanks for posting, take care and please keep us posted on how it goes.

[allegory]

Thanks for your response.

I did take the risk and visited my dad on the weekend, even trimmed one of his plants (he has a medical license to grow) and did well. I had a huge argument with my fiance also and managed not to smoke. It's difficult, but I feel so much better already.

Can't help but wish that my dad would quit as well, but it's such a part of his life and he uses it for pain management. He thinks his memory loss and fatigue is from anything BUT weed. You're right, there's no point in trying to convert him or the other chronic puffers in my life. The only thing it would accomplish is alienating myself.

I have been having a glass of wine every night in place of the weed, which might be a terrible idea, but it really helps. I love feeling relaxed but still mentally sharp and awake.

[allegory]

Alright, I guess I'm not as strong in the face of temptation as I thought. I failed. I smoked some this morning (yeah, this MORNING. disgusting) when a friend stopped by who lit up a spliff while we were smoking cigs outside and I had a few hauls.

Spose it is true that you need to remove yourself from the "culture" at least for the first few weeks. I just thought I was strong enough in my reserve to say "no thanks" and get on with it. Instead in that split second the decision I made was "what's one puff?" and now I'm left feeling guilty and powerless. I have loads of self-discipline when it comes to other areas. I don't know why inhaling smoke into my lungs is so hard to stop.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Many of us have been there allegory, we can all slip up from time to time, but no person has ever been able to change the past, all that matters is that we learn from it.

I think it is good advice if you can to remove yourself from the culture of it for the first few weeks at least, maybe even indefinitely for some. Anyway just climb back on the wagon I am sure you can do it.

Take care