about to give up weed with partner

[xladyluckx]

hi, i have a problem with the drug as does my boyfriend. when i met him he had been smoking 8 years before on and off. When we got toghether i knew nothing about the drug but noticed his mates smoked. i hated it at 1st and would not like to be in the same room when they did.
soon after i started smoking. 2 years on and we are smoking on a daily basis, spending over 500 a month on it, its something we have always done together, they say you should avoid situations when you smoked but in our situation it would be difficult. we avoid social situations to be on our own in our flat watching telly shaing a spliff. i really want to give up and so does my boyfriend, we have wasted so much money on it and sacraficed alot but its got to stop.
i have bad sleeping problems when i smoke and when i dont. it takes my sooo long to get to sleep i stay awake thinking about pointless things, my mind is never free from thought. i seem to think if i smoke loads before bed ill fall asleep quicker, it used to be like that but ive smoked it for 2 years everyday i feel normal when im stoned.
we are cutting down to a couple a day from tomorrow, we have a holiday booked for januray and it looks like were going to have no money to spend at this rate if we carry on smoking up our hard earned money.
i want to do so many things with my life i feel like ive got no where while ive been stoned. i want to make something of my life as does my partner, i just feel like im going to have a empty feeling inside. wish id never touched the stuff, i was a confident girl before. any comments would more than welcome this is gonna be hard, but with your support im sure we will get through the other side. thanks alot x

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi xladyluckx welcome to the forum.

I think a lot of us can identify, we start doing it now and again and before we know it it’s every day. I am so glad to hear your boyfriend is going to do it with you, it would be a hell of a lot harder if you had to live with someone who still continued to smoke, so make sure both of you know that, this should help to motivate you to do it for each other as well as for yourselves. I gradually cut down until I finally quit and as long as you have the will power to stick to, it should help ease you into quitting with less of a thud, make sure you are strict with yourselves though it may be a good idea to measure out what you use each day and make sure you stick to it, if you have digital scales that can help, that’s what I did.

Well done on your decision to detox I am sure both you and your boyfriend will find you end up living much fuller lives as a result, it may be tough to begin with but the time will pass and when you have done it I am sure you will look back and be glad you did. Make sure you manage to keep yourselves as busy as possible, you will need stuff to fill in the time that you used to spend getting stoned.

Thanks for sharing your story, I hope we will share your journey with you, anytime you want to get something off your chest we will be more than happy to listen. Take care and please keep us posted on how it goes.

[allegory]

I'm in the same situation. My fiance and I have been smoking together since we met, and now we're realizing the need to give it up. We've wasted so much time just sitting inside puffing. It makes us irritable and causes so many stupid arguments. We've gone cold turkey and now on day 4 things are already better.

I wish you lots of luck. I have found it helps to think "we don't toke" not "we can't toke" or "we have to stop". It's hard but definitely worth the struggle.

[xladyluckx]

day one....

hiya thanks 4 the replys. i had a bad day yesterday, we knew we were quittin so had a big smoke together and ran out last night.
Got up today and just decided enoughs enough and didnt buy any. this is the 1st time ive decided to detox because i want to, not because ive ran out of money or cant get hold of none, so today i feel very proud of myself. Most of the time i would make sure we got new the drug before we ran out of the last.
Ive done alot today beacuse i havent been stoned. had a big tidy up of the flat and got things done.
I am doing this so i can be a happier and more confident. im fed up of avoiding people to just be on our own. I want to have money, we could have had a car by now as well as normal things like clothes, nights out ect. I am excited about our 1st holiday together on our 3rd year as a couple and also to doing the flat up nice in the new year. I also want to train as a socialworker with the open university as my mum said she will pay if i sort my life out. all shes ever wanted of me is to be happy and sucessful and i havent even accompished that.
My boyfriend will find it easier than me i think, if i didnt ask for it he wouldnt mention it. he propably finds it harder than he is letting on. He works 35 hours in a week and i do nothing but sit in all day everyday, i want to show him i can be more than this coz i never expected my life to be like this.
I want us to have good jobs and be free from all addiction. i know when we get through this it will NEVER happen again. its changed us alot, i just hope things will return to normal soon.
Its nice to know theres someone in the same situation as me and thanks again for the replys, its nice to be honest for once n not feel ebarrased to tell the truth. good luck everyone x

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

I think doing the open university and becoming a social worker is a wonderful idea, it sounds like a great way to improve both your own life and to help others. I wish you every success.

[teape-k]

about to give up the drug with partner

me and my partner and a few freands whent to dam,oh man what a buzz we had some soft black we asked for some bud but the man told us to try some solid first oh two j later could not move could not even see streat,so i think that the solid over dam is much much better than over hear but dont know about bud,

[Freedom]

Hi xluckyladyx
I am jealous to hear that you have the support of you partner in quitting. If you 2 have each other then atleast youv got someone at home that is going through the exact same thing. I to got together with my partner as we both loved to smoke. He always smoked more than me and for alot longer and since meeting him i started smoking more. Iv not got to the point when Iv had enough with having it in my life. HOWEVER my partner does not want to quit. He claims he really enjoys it, and becuase he works so hard working 40-50hours a week as a Chef, he looks forward to coming home and smoking a joint after such hard days. I can relate with him about this, becasue we met at work. I was a waitress in the same restaurant and I know exactly the stress he goes though at work. When we started living together I adapted the 'looking forward to our evening joint together' attitude. Since finding out Iv got a new job (using my degree) I dont wnt to smoke anymore. Iv been trying for 2 weeks now. The first week I wnt home to see my parents. I didnt smoke at all and I found it quite easy. Yet when I returned home to my usual smoking enviroment, and around my smoking buddy I caved not one but 4 nights in a row. It odes make it very hard to detox when your loved one doesnt want to. So I think you should celebrate the fact that u guys are gonna support each other though. Pick up a piggy bank and start a little 'quit the drug saving fund' which u can use towards ur holiday. Through out all ur smoking stuff so that if u guys do cave and buy some smoke. then u wont jst have to buy smoke, ud have to buy skins, tabacco and roach. (with me, if i feel like i want to cave, I do because i jst have to pop into the next room and skin up with my bf's gear)
Hope this helps u xluckyladyx

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

So I think you should celebrate the fact that u guys are gonna support each other though. Pick up a piggy bank and start a little 'quit the drug saving fund' which u can use towards ur holiday. Through out all ur smoking stuff so that if u guys do cave and buy some smoke. then u wont jst have to buy smoke, ud have to buy skins, tabacco and roach. (with me, if i feel like i want to cave, I do because i jst have to pop into the next room and skin up with my bf's gear)
Hope this helps u xluckyladyx

Those are good suggestions. If you can find a way to keep yourself motivated to detox then I think you are making good choices to be on your way to quitting completely. You have to find the motivating factor for it to truly work though.

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

I don't know where you're from but you might want to find some Narcotics Anonymous meetings if you can, especially since you and your boyfriend are going through it together. It does sound hardcore for just the drug but you wouldn't be the only the drug quitter there and the two of you could make some new mates.