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I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still feeling better. Hopefully this will encourage some of the younger people dealing with the problems that I was facing eight months ago.
Here is a recap of my situation:
-Smoking varied from daily to weekly from eighth to ninth grade (13-15 years old)
-Daily from 10th to 12th grade (15-18 years old)
-Long history of depression on both sides of the family
-Taking antidepressants (lexapro & welbutrin) between 7th grade and 10th grade (ages 12-15)
-I am eighteen and in my first year of college, and turning nineteen in January
During junior and senior years of high school, and toward the end of sophomore year, (beginning in the period when I was off of the antidepressants), I slipped slowly into a worse and worse state of depression. Between the middle of junior year, and the end of senior year, I had the symptoms of a full blown social anxiety disorder. Smoking in this period made the symptoms much worse (while I was high), but I was still unable to detox because of my addiction. Every time that I smoked, I experienced an extreme amount of paranoia, which in turn made the depression even worse.
When I quit, on April 20th (about eight months ago) I was a complete and total mess. I was carrying an absolutely insane amount of anxiety, that caused me to be almost completely unable to function. No one that I was close to really had any idea of the extent of my problem, and with a near fatal injury occurring in my family (the ‘straw’ that broke the camel’s back in getting me to stop) my whole family was going through tough times. After about four months of unbelievable anxiety, I went to see a psychologist about it, and started talking to people that I was close to about the problem. However, no matter what he or anyone told me, I was convinced that I had “permanently ruined my brain”.
What the psychologist told me, posted above*, has basically been completely affirmed by my experience recovering. My rehabilitation was a slow battle, that I was inevitably going to win, but how soon I recovered depended on me. Whenever I drank alcohol, my symptoms temporarily got better (the morning to afternoon) but worsened for a few days afterwards. Running, or any exercise, made the anxiety and depression go down for a few days, and in the periods that I managed to keep it up it almost even disappeared.
Now I don’t feel anywhere near as bad as I did eight months ago, and I know that I am still getting better. Within a few months, everything but the memory will most likely have completely disappeared.
With this encouragement, I have some advice, which I know I’ve already reiterated over and over a, gain, to people going through withdrawal, or who are preparing:
-Get ready for a marathon. If you’ve built up a serious psychological dependence, it can take between six months and a year and a half to fully recover. Your attitude during this period, and the steps you take to improve your recovery, make all the difference.
-The key thing, as obvious as it sounds, is don’t smoke. Smoking just one time will destroy all of your progress. The psychologist I visited told me this, and looking back, when I smoked in June, and then on July 4th, I immediately began feeling like I had the day I quit, on April 20th. If I hadn’t smoked on these two occasions, I would probably have been able to write this post 2 months ago.
-This has something to do with the way THC affects the brain. The parts of your brain trying to recover after heavy periods of smoking, I’ve been told, lose all of their progress when more THC is received. The brain doesn’t fully recover, and isn’t able to cope with any more THC, for years after a heavy period of smoking.
-Avoid things that induce anxiety like grim death, and do what you can to lessen anxiety. Coffee, and cigarettes, if you can avoid them, are definitely huge don’ts. Exercise is by far the best thing that you can do to relieve anxiety. I found that Theanine helped too, but it is important not to get too dependent on that stuff either, as it hasn’t been fully researched, and I noticed that taking it significantly changed my thinking.
-The same goes for depression. Avoid alcohol if you can, and, again, exercise as much as you can get yourself to.
-What I found ultimately helped me the most was staying distracted as much as possible, with things that required a lot of concentration. I felt better and better as I worked harder and harder at school, and during my exams I almost forgot all about the issue, because I was so swamped with work.
-Constantly trying to read, for example, helped me out the most. In the beginning it was utterly impossible for me to concentrate enough to read a novel, but I kept working at it, and around my 5th month I developed a healthy, genuine interest in literature. Thinking about literature, rather than my anxiety, definitely helped out an extraordinary amount.
Obviously I can’t tell you exactly what to do in your situation; everybody’s thought processes are different. From a biological standpoint, however, all of our brains work about the same. Do what it takes biologically, like avoiding coffee and alcohol, and trying to exercise, and you will definitely see a faster improvement. It’s also important to figure out what works for you as an individual. Biology aside, how can you create a life worth living for yourself?
I want to thank Rehab Admin and everyone on CannabisRehab.org making this discussion possible. CannabisRehab.org makes it so that no one has to be alone in dealing with these issues, which is a true blessing.
*Unfortunately I can't post any links because I have less than five posts. However, the post is titled, "Marijuana Dependency and Treatment" and it is somewhere around the third page of the rehab group as of 12/23/09
Here is a recap of my situation:
-Smoking varied from daily to weekly from eighth to ninth grade (13-15 years old)
-Daily from 10th to 12th grade (15-18 years old)
-Long history of depression on both sides of the family
-Taking antidepressants (lexapro & welbutrin) between 7th grade and 10th grade (ages 12-15)
-I am eighteen and in my first year of college, and turning nineteen in January
During junior and senior years of high school, and toward the end of sophomore year, (beginning in the period when I was off of the antidepressants), I slipped slowly into a worse and worse state of depression. Between the middle of junior year, and the end of senior year, I had the symptoms of a full blown social anxiety disorder. Smoking in this period made the symptoms much worse (while I was high), but I was still unable to detox because of my addiction. Every time that I smoked, I experienced an extreme amount of paranoia, which in turn made the depression even worse.
When I quit, on April 20th (about eight months ago) I was a complete and total mess. I was carrying an absolutely insane amount of anxiety, that caused me to be almost completely unable to function. No one that I was close to really had any idea of the extent of my problem, and with a near fatal injury occurring in my family (the ‘straw’ that broke the camel’s back in getting me to stop) my whole family was going through tough times. After about four months of unbelievable anxiety, I went to see a psychologist about it, and started talking to people that I was close to about the problem. However, no matter what he or anyone told me, I was convinced that I had “permanently ruined my brain”.
What the psychologist told me, posted above*, has basically been completely affirmed by my experience recovering. My rehabilitation was a slow battle, that I was inevitably going to win, but how soon I recovered depended on me. Whenever I drank alcohol, my symptoms temporarily got better (the morning to afternoon) but worsened for a few days afterwards. Running, or any exercise, made the anxiety and depression go down for a few days, and in the periods that I managed to keep it up it almost even disappeared.
Now I don’t feel anywhere near as bad as I did eight months ago, and I know that I am still getting better. Within a few months, everything but the memory will most likely have completely disappeared.
With this encouragement, I have some advice, which I know I’ve already reiterated over and over a, gain, to people going through withdrawal, or who are preparing:
-Get ready for a marathon. If you’ve built up a serious psychological dependence, it can take between six months and a year and a half to fully recover. Your attitude during this period, and the steps you take to improve your recovery, make all the difference.
-The key thing, as obvious as it sounds, is don’t smoke. Smoking just one time will destroy all of your progress. The psychologist I visited told me this, and looking back, when I smoked in June, and then on July 4th, I immediately began feeling like I had the day I quit, on April 20th. If I hadn’t smoked on these two occasions, I would probably have been able to write this post 2 months ago.
-This has something to do with the way THC affects the brain. The parts of your brain trying to recover after heavy periods of smoking, I’ve been told, lose all of their progress when more THC is received. The brain doesn’t fully recover, and isn’t able to cope with any more THC, for years after a heavy period of smoking.
-Avoid things that induce anxiety like grim death, and do what you can to lessen anxiety. Coffee, and cigarettes, if you can avoid them, are definitely huge don’ts. Exercise is by far the best thing that you can do to relieve anxiety. I found that Theanine helped too, but it is important not to get too dependent on that stuff either, as it hasn’t been fully researched, and I noticed that taking it significantly changed my thinking.
-The same goes for depression. Avoid alcohol if you can, and, again, exercise as much as you can get yourself to.
-What I found ultimately helped me the most was staying distracted as much as possible, with things that required a lot of concentration. I felt better and better as I worked harder and harder at school, and during my exams I almost forgot all about the issue, because I was so swamped with work.
-Constantly trying to read, for example, helped me out the most. In the beginning it was utterly impossible for me to concentrate enough to read a novel, but I kept working at it, and around my 5th month I developed a healthy, genuine interest in literature. Thinking about literature, rather than my anxiety, definitely helped out an extraordinary amount.
Obviously I can’t tell you exactly what to do in your situation; everybody’s thought processes are different. From a biological standpoint, however, all of our brains work about the same. Do what it takes biologically, like avoiding coffee and alcohol, and trying to exercise, and you will definitely see a faster improvement. It’s also important to figure out what works for you as an individual. Biology aside, how can you create a life worth living for yourself?
I want to thank Rehab Admin and everyone on CannabisRehab.org making this discussion possible. CannabisRehab.org makes it so that no one has to be alone in dealing with these issues, which is a true blessing.
*Unfortunately I can't post any links because I have less than five posts. However, the post is titled, "Marijuana Dependency and Treatment" and it is somewhere around the third page of the rehab group as of 12/23/09
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