17 days sober....relapsed....

[supremeteam]

19 years old... been smoking heavily for the past 5 years. wanted to detox because it really messed me up socially / a ton of legal trouble. stopped caring about people and just wanted to get high with people who smoked as much as me. was tired of not having a girl and not having fun unless i was getting stoned. tired of people not accepting me unless i was talking about the drug or acting stupid. tired of days feeling the same and not having any natural good feelings.
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So today I made 17 days sober and woke up thinking "ok, im gonna smoke today". I only took 2 hits of a shitty blunt and felt pretty high for an hour or so. The past 2 weeks sober I felt normal with detox symptoms becoming less and less. Nothing really changed in me and i only felt a slight energy boost. The first few days werent that hard because I wanted it bad. After the 2 weeks it seemed like the detox symptoms came back around full circle... I started feeling angry and anxious because I felt like i was getting nowhere even though i had all that good time. Honestly I dont regret taking those 2 pulls because it felt good and felt like I was finally in control of my addiction. I dont plan on smoking again for a little while, probably going to try to make 30-40 days. Im not going to include this slip up in my journey. Ive been reading CannabisRehab.org for a little while now because my addiction was out of control. Ive used the drug to self medicate for way too long. But honestly, the problems i was having that i blame on weed, dont seem like it was the drugs fault.... maybe just damage ive already done to myself. Maybe i need more sober time and time to meet new people, but i still feel the same besides being more talkative and less introverted. I feel like its going to take almost all of the time I wasted with the drug to bring me back to the person I once was. Ive been trying to tune out all of the urges and cravings and trying hard to relax.

I hope one day ill be able to feel normal and not think about everything ive done wrong. Being sober has made me more clear minded but I still feel lazy and unaccomplished. I still hang around with my friends who smoke, which is about 4 people because I have no1 else. Maybe after some more weeks Ill fit in somewhere.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi supremeteam and welcome to the forum.

Sorry I am a little late in responding I have been a bit busy lately. I am sure many of us can identify, my life also revolved around weed, it’s all we would do, all we would talk about, the amount of hours we must have spent talking about it, as well as actually smoking it, looking back it was like our religion, possibly even a cult, we really did think we were the “enlightened” ones. We all want to fit in somewhere and using drugs with other people who do the same can often make us feel that we have, although the relationships are often based on the fact that you all use and probably not a very genuine or positive foundation on which to base your friendship. A lot of us use drugs to self medicate one problem or another, I know I did, but in the end it caused more problems than it solved. Quitting can be a bit of a emotional roller coaster and can involve a lot of negative emotions at times, but it is just part of the process, it is usually worth it in the end.

It’s sometimes hard to know what problems the drugs have created and which we would have anyway and sometimes it can be a combination of a number of factors and even if the drugs are not the only cause they usually don’t help and often make things worse, even if they are not the only or root cause they can often exacerbate the problem, I know they did with me. Anyway good luck with however long you decide not to smoke for, just bear in mind that if your drug use has caused or contributed to a particular problem, it can often take months rather than weeks for them to ease.

Take care, thanks for posting and please continue to keep us posted on how it goes, happy new year!

[Detoxer]

im a few weeks into quitting and i feel so bored and empty, but i suppose it's just getting used to sober life

and the thing thats keeping me going is that if you start smoking full-time again then one day in the future you'll have to go through all this shit again, you've gone this far and thats a good achievement

some people need to do it cold turkey, some need to do it gradually, imo its finding the best way that suits you.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hey Hummer hang in there, a lot of what you are feeling is just a part of the detox and your brain having to readjust, when you take drugs the brain gets lazy and starts to rely on them for producing all those lovely feel good chemicals which have just been taken away, but it will readjust and start producing and absorbing them for its self again soon, sober life won’t always be this empty an boring I promise.

I totally agree, when it comes to a quitting strategy you have to find the one that suits you.

Take care

[bearrusty1]

Keep up the good fight man. I commend you, you are much younger than I am but you are making some very good decisions. Many 19 yr olds and folks much older don't/won't even acknowledge their drug problem. Keep expressing yourself here and reading the rehab group messages, it really helps to communicate with others who are dealing with the same issue and may be experiencing some of your same concerns. Keep your head up babyboi and stop dwelling on all the things you've done wrong and think of all the things you're gonna do right as a result of quitting. Remember to give it to God/higher power because addiction is bigger than our own will to defeat it. You can do it !

[LeoKing]

Hey man. I hear and relate fully to all that you've said coz I'm at the same place. All you said about nothing being fun anymore if it doesn't involve the drug I saw with my own life. Im also quitting for pretty much the same reasons as you but something more also, I have a goal that I want to accomplish and that is becoming a better artist so that I can showcase myself and make money from my talents. I am 22, I've smoked for six years and I think that if you can find something that you are passionate about (if you haven't) you will stop being so bored. One of the reasons that I smoked alot I know was because I was just an aimless drifter of life, didn't have anything to care about or motivate me to do or be better so I really had nothing better going on in my life and thought that the drug was the best thing that I could do with Time. So I encourage you to stay strong and find that thing that will occupo-stimulate you (I just made that word up).
Thanks for posting and congrats and All the Best.