19 years old... been smoking heavily for the past 5 years. wanted to detox because it really messed me up socially / a ton of legal trouble. stopped caring about people and just wanted to get high with people who smoked as much as me. was tired of not having a girl and not having fun unless i was getting stoned. tired of people not accepting me unless i was talking about the drug or acting stupid. tired of days feeling the same and not having any natural good feelings.
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So today I made 17 days sober and woke up thinking "ok, im gonna smoke today". I only took 2 hits of a shitty blunt and felt pretty high for an hour or so. The past 2 weeks sober I felt normal with detox symptoms becoming less and less. Nothing really changed in me and i only felt a slight energy boost. The first few days werent that hard because I wanted it bad. After the 2 weeks it seemed like the detox symptoms came back around full circle... I started feeling angry and anxious because I felt like i was getting nowhere even though i had all that good time. Honestly I dont regret taking those 2 pulls because it felt good and felt like I was finally in control of my addiction. I dont plan on smoking again for a little while, probably going to try to make 30-40 days. Im not going to include this slip up in my journey. Ive been reading CannabisRehab.org for a little while now because my addiction was out of control. Ive used the drug to self medicate for way too long. But honestly, the problems i was having that i blame on weed, dont seem like it was the drugs fault.... maybe just damage ive already done to myself. Maybe i need more sober time and time to meet new people, but i still feel the same besides being more talkative and less introverted. I feel like its going to take almost all of the time I wasted with the drug to bring me back to the person I once was. Ive been trying to tune out all of the urges and cravings and trying hard to relax.
I hope one day ill be able to feel normal and not think about everything ive done wrong. Being sober has made me more clear minded but I still feel lazy and unaccomplished. I still hang around with my friends who smoke, which is about 4 people because I have no1 else. Maybe after some more weeks Ill fit in somewhere.
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So today I made 17 days sober and woke up thinking "ok, im gonna smoke today". I only took 2 hits of a shitty blunt and felt pretty high for an hour or so. The past 2 weeks sober I felt normal with detox symptoms becoming less and less. Nothing really changed in me and i only felt a slight energy boost. The first few days werent that hard because I wanted it bad. After the 2 weeks it seemed like the detox symptoms came back around full circle... I started feeling angry and anxious because I felt like i was getting nowhere even though i had all that good time. Honestly I dont regret taking those 2 pulls because it felt good and felt like I was finally in control of my addiction. I dont plan on smoking again for a little while, probably going to try to make 30-40 days. Im not going to include this slip up in my journey. Ive been reading CannabisRehab.org for a little while now because my addiction was out of control. Ive used the drug to self medicate for way too long. But honestly, the problems i was having that i blame on weed, dont seem like it was the drugs fault.... maybe just damage ive already done to myself. Maybe i need more sober time and time to meet new people, but i still feel the same besides being more talkative and less introverted. I feel like its going to take almost all of the time I wasted with the drug to bring me back to the person I once was. Ive been trying to tune out all of the urges and cravings and trying hard to relax.
I hope one day ill be able to feel normal and not think about everything ive done wrong. Being sober has made me more clear minded but I still feel lazy and unaccomplished. I still hang around with my friends who smoke, which is about 4 people because I have no1 else. Maybe after some more weeks Ill fit in somewhere.
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