Tweet
 |
Ive Gone 31 Days without smoking cannabis after 11 & a half years use. Im 27. Within that time I Quit for two 2 week periods and a 1 week period. And a day or 2 when I Couldnt Score. Before I Stopped I Think it was nearly a whole year solid on it. I Only smoked at Night and would Only get through a 8th - quarter a week. So not a massive amount but enough. I Decided to stop. First Week was restless, a bit Tearfull and no sleep more or less. second week was broken sleep and full of very scary vivid dreams. Not good. By the third week Id done it unaided but got quite drunk that weekend and ended up whiteying out ! In the 4th week i had a small glass of white at night, 3 days out of the seven and 8 over that weekend. the last 3 nights ive had a small glass every night. Ive also been smoking 5-7 cigs in a 24 hour period for the first 2 weeks, thats now 7-9 in a 24 hour period. Although my circulation in my legs has improved and my mood is alot better generally towards my loved ones and Im more motivated in many ways I Still feal Im not getting anywhere with it, Treading Water. I Believed id change alot but deep down i new i wouldnt really, and that thought was right. Im still pushing ahead with this and determined to stay on this path aslong as possible ideally forever. Im worried im going to be drinking a glass of white every night, ill make dam sure its no more then that. and keep the cigs at 9 max but thats not good really isit ? that old behaviour is stil there under the service ! Ive received councilling thinking this would help me maybe go back in my past and deal with some underlying problem but they assesed me and said im low risk and my mental health is generally good which is true. I Believed Id meet a girl who is t total by now to fill my time and keep me on the right track. i was in a 9 year on and off relationship with a female but that ended for good 9 months ago. shes still smoking. ive been as social as possible lately but i was made redundant last year and the part time job i have means working weekends at bad times. so its killed my social really as i used to get weekends off. so one night stands are on a drowt or ideally meeting someone else is two. ive had to stop spending time with certain freinds who are still using. they now hate on me. Im regaining contact with old freinds i lost contact with over the years, and that was very positive and we are going to make it a regular thing. Im also working on enlargeing my social circle with peeps i kind of kno. thats coming along great and dates are set. I Just feal am i wasteing my Time? shall i go back and just smoke one mild joint a night instead of the wine, which would also cut the cigs down to 4 a day. Im torn. I Kno deep down ive got to stay off it, maybe Im just feeling weak at the Moment. The cannabis has never stopped me acheiving, ive got plenty of qualifications and im a qualified tradesman, im planning to start a part time course soon, also voluntary work as i cant find a full time job right now. also applieing to go to uni in september. what im trying to say is it hasent made me a waste man, i just got to a point were i needed to stop ! deep down im thinking for ever ! if i was to meet the right women very soon who dosent drink or smoke i kno i could quite happily live a clean life forever. but thats an if. I Am torn really. Maybe Im exspecting to much to soon,nearly 5 weeks after 11 and a half years ! but to me that nearly five weeks is along time. I Will persist with this. A Batch is ready in under 3 weeks time, there offering me a whole one of northern crossed with 3 ways. i kno im safe til then as all the rest who pitched to me ive shunned. so that will be the test. its there if i wont it but i will have to ask. ive instructed them not to offer. any thoughts ? be apreciated
Comment