relapsed with pot

[sharon]

Havent been on for awhile. Feeling cheesed off. Cant believe i have gone back to my old ways. Feel weak. After a smoke i say im not going to have one till 2nite, say if its in the morning. Oh no come about 3 hours later i say to myself oh i really fancy one. Dont smoke cigarettes. I set myself targets through out the day some i achieve some i dont. Im 42 a 21 year smoker. U no when im doing really well and say gone all day i feel fresh look younger, heads in gear. Not doing silly mistakes. More confident cause i aint got my head down so they cant see my red eyes. I get in and i think you know what i like that feeling of being with it. The pot has made me lazy where works concerned. No motivation. Then again im not lazy when it comes to other things in my life. The home my pets. I think it might make me lack confidence. I feel envious of people who say they been clean 4months. I think gosh wish i could say that. Its only been this last couple of months i have wanted to give up. I could have such abetter life. Im even starting to dislike who i buy off. I look at the amount and think his taking my money and taking the p**s. Sorry if im drivelling on. Needed to get that off my chest. I know what i need to do to change all this. Its just that i like the relaxation of it. I have tried to get some support but i just keep hearing its all down to self motivation great help that is to me. Often wonder how my life would have been without pot probaly loaded for a start!

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi Sharon

Feel free to get it off your chest we are happy to listen, it’s not easy I know, we have all been there and we don’t always succeed the first time, or second or third, but you will get there in the end, as long as you keep trying, but try to think that the time is now if you can, as it’s all too easy to keep putting it off and like the old saying goes tomorrow never comes. Yes there will always be another opportunity but that’s all it will be, to achieve it sooner or later you have to take that opportunity and make it actually happen, anyway I am sure you know all this which is why you are cheesed off with yourself in the first place, but as I always say you can’t change the past, but you can change the future, this is what you need to focus on now, so try to be positive, you will get there if you truly want to, I know you can do it and we are all with you. Anytime you want to get something off your chest please do so, anytime you feel like using try coming here and telling us about how you feeling instead, look upon us all as your online sponsors if you like.

Anyway, hang in there, try to stay strong, thanks for sharing and please keep us posted on how it goes. You can do it!

All the best

[bearrusty1]

Hi Sharon, relaspe is often part of recovery. I too have since this week begun fell off my principles and smoked some pot. It really does seem hard after you've smoked for so many years to abandon this habit and yet somehow, I know it must be abandoned. Smoking doesn't have the same appeal and I am acutely aware of my addicition, which makes quitting imperative if I want to achieve a greater level of personal, spiritual, and emotional fulfillment. I allowed myself to purchase some pot this week because I just finished my last class in my master's program. My excuse to use was, I need to celebrate this achievement, but the reality is that pot is familiar and my addiction cravings were kicking in after 4 days or so of being clean. We have to continue to communicate with others that are struggleling for insight, encouragement, and an understanding/caring heart. You can do it and I can as well.... we just have to take one day at a time. We must continuously remember to surrender our will and life to the care of God, none of us can overcome addiction in our own strength, we need our higher power !

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

its a sad state of affairs but if your used 2 smoking the drug then when u wana celebrate one of the first things youll think is lets smoke. its like alcohol but not legal. most people havent tried it so dont know how we feel. the people who look down on it are the ones u never even tried it . but we all hav our reasons 4 quiting.

peace and out

peaches

[bearrusty1]

I agree with you peaches .... it is indeed a sad state of affairs to want to celebrate such a wonderful accomplishment/milestone by smoking. It just goes to show how deeply addiction tarnishes our perception and perspective on life. Thanks for your response.