Scared to face a day without smoking cannabis

[Fallen kite]

Hi I'm Dan, Iv been smokin since I was 13, it became a habbit at 15, and now im almost 20 and it has over-run my life. Sometimes I feel I cant handle the real world so I get stoned then carry on with my day, not really caring about what im doing. I want to stop this because it is causing my depression to get to a point where i cant handle it anymore and im breaking down in tears at work over nothing at all. Aswel as having insomnia (the reason i used it from 15).

If I dont smoke I either dont sleep at all for days on end, or when I do manage to sleep I have horrible dreams.

The other problem is that I always just feel so much better when im stoned, its when im not stoned I have problems. I hate that I love it so much.

I tried to stop cold turkey before, this only caused my drinking problem to get to a dangerous level, so i started again. Iv now quit drinking and my urge to smoke is so over-whelming.


If i work hard i can get it down to my bedtime sedating spliff, but I can never quite let go of it without heavy sleep aids and I dont want to trade 1 addiction for another.

Kinda stuck in a rut.

(sorry the post is so long)

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

hi dan read your story can relate to most things. especially the nite smoke. thats the one i most enjoy. 2 relax and think about the day i have had. then i go fast asleep! i have just got a very important job so i literally only have half of a single sheet before i go ih morning there is no way i could go red eyed. so thats a big cut down. i feel proud of that. cause so cant afford it anymore. cant believe how much you get 4 your money dismal big time. breaks my heart to part with my money. i so envy people who has no interest with weed. tried giving it up so bloody hard. i think we should set up a location for pot users to meet to support each other and chat because i cant find such set up. good luck dan shaz

[Vixsin]

You HAVE found the place!!

Hi Dan and Unregisterd! I want to welcome you both to this forum. I can relate to what you both have said about your own individual use and feelings. The comment that I have for both of you is that you have already found that place that you seek. This forum. CannabisRehab.org is a great place to share your experiences without judgement. You are among friends here. We all are going thru the same things. I was an everyday all day smoker for many years and I gave it up too. Today is Day 25 for me.

You will find nothing but support and understanding here. I hope both of you will continue to post your feelings. It helps with the journey, that is for sure.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Be free.

[Fallen kite]

Hi Shaz, thank you for responding. I'v now managed to stop smoking at work, its not nice any I get so anxious and aggressive, either that or I just stand there staring into space thinking. I have literaly just found out that I'm going to be a Dad, and I'v actualy started smoking more in the evenings just to deal with the stress of it all, and where im not drinking and suffering with some pretty heavy withdrawls im smoking to overcome that aswel. Its like its become the only thing iv got left to take the edge off and I just cant let go, im afraid of what i'll be like if I do.

Iv said im now only goiing to smoke after dark to stop me smoking all day, but im just fooling myself that im doing well as im smoking loads in the evening anyway. messy messy messy

[Fallen kite]

The other problem is that a close friend of mine deals, lives a 3min drive away from home, and the cherry on top, its only £35 a quarter.

[Fallen kite]

Lapsed today, got so anxious and aggressive at work that i smoked a single skin in my car, n sat in the hotbox for half an hour n then went in happy as larry. by the end of the nite it had all worn off and i was back how i was before to the point i snapped n went mental at my manager. all in all not a good day.

i keep posting on my own post, but its the only way i can let off steam at the minute that doesnt involve gettin drunk or junked up.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi Dan and welcome

It sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment I am sorry to hear that, unfortunately it can kind of go with the territory of quitting, but it will get better, I know what you mean about struggling to sleep without it, I had a similar thing but my brain did readjust eventually. If you need to taper off a bit before you stop completely, that may just be the best option for you, everybody can be different. Any way whichever way you get there, you will get there in the end and we will be with you every step of the way. I know what you mean about your close friend been dealers, I was friends with quite a few people that dealt, it sort of went with the territory of moving in pot smoking circles, for me I had to stop moving in those circles or I don’t think I would have been able to quit.

Hang in there mate, take care, thanks for posting and please keep us posted on how it goes.

All the best

[Fallen kite]

I'v had an epipheny. The only way im going to be able to fix my life is to stop smoking. I want a better life and i cant achieve anything mith my head so skrewed up i just cant think about anything good anymore, only thing keeping me together is my girlfriend. afraid to say i am pretty stoned right now, struggling with alcohol withdrawls and the only thing that keeps my anxiety down is smoking, the second i sober up i get panicy, (started hyperventalating while driving this evening, not fun!)

I need to figure out how the hell im going to do this, i want clarity, but the second i achieve it i freak out because it feels so different. I hate this!

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

It sounds like you are having a very tough time indeed, but at least you know what you need to do and have a strong desire to do it and while achieving it most probably isn’t going to be easy, it is possible and you can do it, the other thing you may want to consider is perhaps the option of getting professional help maybe even rehab, more and more people are in cannabis rehab for marijuana these days, while it may not be necessary for everybody if it is an option that is available to you it may be necessary for you, like I say it can depend on the individual, but this may be another option seriously worth considering.

Take care

[Vixsin]

Fallen, I just want to say that you're doing a great job. It's not easy to be self aware. I have found that to be very challenging. But you are doing a great job at looking at things in your life that you want to change. You've realized that there is a problem and you're actively trying to figure out the solution that will work best for you. Many people in this world haven't come even that far.

I know if feels impossible, but it is possible. Believe in yourself because we all believe in you! I agree with Rehab Admin in that professional help may be an answer for you. I am certain that you will be able to make the decision of what is right for you. Take heart in knowing that we all will stand behind you and all collectively help to lift you up should you feel like you're going to fall.

We are all in it with you. Keep us posted.

Be free.

[Fallen kite]

Always had the ability to sum up whats wrong with me, it just finding solutions that im not good at. can always give advice, but never take it. Havnt smoked today, its now 23.06, n my moods are so eratic im switching 1 minute to the next, was really depressed and didnt know why, then i nearly had an anxiety attack but managed to focus and it passed, then i was fine, now im angry and aggressive, for no reason.

my girlfriend is in bed next to me, shes got work and needs to sleep, n im wired (mostly because im still going through alcohol withdrawls and my synapses r ablaze, its like beng on coke, without the upside)

cant smoke yet as i cant in front of my mum, so hav to wait shes in bed. even when i do i knoow t wont be enough to clear my head. i used to take alot of messy drugs, it was never enough, since stopping, i miss not caring, i miss feeling amazing. but my life was going no-where and it had to stop. now to combat the dope, but im finding excuse after excuse to keep smokingm im not ready to let go, i dont know what life is when there arnt drugs involved.

i smoke at wrk, i smoke when im out, i smoke wen with friends, i smoke when i paint or play guitar, i smoke to sleep. it is part of everything, and when i do these things clear it feels sooooo wierd. i dont know how to not want weed. i dont want to be an addict anymore, but i dont want to not be stoned either, its pathetic.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

I think many of us suffer from that to an certain extent, knowing and doing can sometimes be two very different things, still at least the knowing usually makes the doing a bit easier, hang in there mate.

[Fallen kite]

Over last night and today i have had a complete mental breakdown. completely lost controll of my own trail of thaught. i smoked a lot today just to numb the pain. in the afternoon when i got up (rough night sleep) i did some messed up drawings and scattered writing to depict how i felt, any1 who sees those will have me locked up lol. but all the way throguh this i'v been thinking it has to stop, it needs to stop. iv got 7 months to sort my life out, just in time for the birth of my child. i just dont know how to go at it. i just want to be happy, and my girlfriend to be happy, and my kid to be the happiest kid alive, and i cant make that happen with my head full of S**t.

I read 2 phrases on here and noted them down:

addiction is bigger than our own will to defeat it

It seems when things are good, they aren't good enough without pot

Interesting eh

[Fallen kite]

Last 3days have not been good ones. my depression reached an all time high. it usualy comes and goes, but i can usualy handle it one way or another. but this time i lost it. i was not well. shut everyone out, yet needed help. ended up round my closest friends house and said ' I need help' and i got the help i needed. just needed a person to sit with who understands me and has been through it all.

i know this hasnt got anything to do with smokin (although i have been smoking heavily through this) i feel it is valid. My depression and my smoking are linked. i had slight depression, runs in the family and the dope amplified that. so now i smoke wen im depressed, which makes it worse, so i smoke more, until im this gormless mong in my own cacoon consumed by my own darkness.

Iv come through the last 3 days feeling so much better, and so much clearer about how i should be thinking about life in general. im still suffering with depression and anxiety, but thats not guna b a quick fix. But i need to start sorting my life out, i say it but never do it. need to cut the smokin down a hell of a lot. a quater a week to myself isnt a healthy habbit in my eyes lol

I bought the book 'stop toking' havnt gotten that far in yet, will keep you posted on that 1, i just like the front cover and title lol (typical easily amused stoner pft!)

Time i start working towards clearing my head of this S*** im smokin and start building a future for my child. im almost looking forward to fatherhood, almost. i'l get there wen im not so fxxked all the time

sorry its a long 1, havnt been well

[Fallen kite]

Well my depression is at an all time low. wont eat, cant sleep, self harming again, breaking down crying at random times for no reason ect ect ect. and how am i dealing with it? By spending every second of every day stoned off my nut - which in turn makes its a hell of a lot worse.

going to my docter soon for help before i do something stupid - just need to remember where my sergery is lol (typical stoner memory loss)

hopefuly when iv started to beat the depression and anxiety i will able to take a proper look at the dope situation and start to cut it out - at least from some parts of my life i.e work ect

i cant see this being a quick thing, but im going to get the help i need and fingers crossed, if i work hard, i mite be a picture of mental health by the time my baby is born :-)