Hello everyone I'm just here to vent again. I am so discouraged with life right now. Everytime I take 2 steps forward, I seemed to be knocked back 4 steps. I just completed my master's and am in these process of trying to procure employment, however I have a charge on my criminal background record from 1998 that I need to get espunged so I can apply for the jobs I am seeking in my field. I spoke with the office of the solicitor in 2008 for the state in which the offense occured and was told that I could get this charge removed since so much time has passed. I didn;t take care of it in 2008 but called her back this morning to get the fee 4 espungement and she informs me that I am no longer eligible because I had one espungement removed in the mid nineties and you can only have one removed in a lifetime. She said I would have to hire a lawyer and the lawter I contacted said he could do it but his fee is $1500, this is a huge jump from the $205 that I was told I needed if the case was in a status where it could be espunged. I feel like all my hard work of attending graduate school was in vain if I can't get up the money to pay 4 hiring this lawyer. The first thing I thought of doing after hearing this horrible news was to get a bag of the drug and get high but I realized that this would just compound my anxiety, worry, and discouragement and possibly lead me towards suicidal thoughts. I can't go back to cannibas especially after all it has cost me. I truly wish that I had never started using drugs and I wouldn't be facing this personal crisis. I pray to remain focused and drug free so that I can have the confidence to keep moving forward with my life and not just give up. I truly am at crossroads in my life and need to know where to go from here .

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