The Good Feelings are to Few and Far Between

[bearrusty1]

Hello everyone, I would like to share some of the emotions or feelings I've experienced today with the board, if for no other reason than the therapeutic value of doing so. Perhaps someone else can relate to or gain something from this post and that would be great ! Feelings, as many of you already know, are new to those of us beginning recovery. I am on my 4th consecutive day clean since caving for 2 days this past weekend (Saturday & Sunday). I may have mentioned that I 've been having issues accepting life on life's terms and these "feelings" are part of life. The emptyness, the uncertainty of the future, the fear of relapsing and bla, bla, bla..... these thoughts sometimes come at me in double measure it seems but I realize that it's all "stinkin thinkin". As Joyce Meyer says " if the adversary (u may call it the devil, addicted mind, or whatever) can defeat you in your mind then he has won the battle". Therefore, we must vehemently resist all negative thoughts, ideas, and yes even emotions and it does take a conscoius effort to do so. All types of thoughts enter our conscoiusness but we don't have to dwell on them . We can learn to utilize positive thinking, which is deliberately focusing on the things that bring us happiness, joy, encouragement, and hope. I actually put into practice the advice of the board administrator and went to the gym today after reading inspirational literature and meditating and communing with God (my higher power). I can truly say that I felt almost euphoric after I finished my hour workout. I felt better than I have in a long, long time but that feeling was something that began to fade a little after a couple of hours so I decided to get on here and express myself a little. I don't expect everyday to be cheesecake and cherries but I would like for the good feelings that I experence to not be so "few and far between". I have faith that the feel good emotions will become more frequent as I continue to practice postive thinking, exercise (which releases feel good hormones), and employ my principles of rehabilitation by remaining cannibas/alcohol free, reading NA literature and of course communicating with all of you here. I don't have all the answers yet but I believe that I am on the right course ...........