Recently quit dope, bf still smokes dope

[dreamalittledream]

Hi all..

Need some advice and would like to know if anyone else is in my situation. I quit smoking back in April, and my bf still smokes. He smokes around me constantly, I have talked to him so many times, I have tried to get him to stop but he has no interest in stopping. We seem to not have that connection anymore, I feel like im changing and he is stuck. What do you all think??

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi dream a little dream and welcome to the forum.

I can’t honestly say I have been in that particular situation in regards to a partner, but when I quit I did pretty much break all contact with those I used to smoke with, which is something that is supposedly recommended for the sake of recovery, however as you are now experiencing once you quit you can find that you grow apart naturally from those who you used to smoke with, it was bound to happen with the people I used to smoke with, not only was it something we spent most their time doing but half the time it was all we would talk about too, it really was like been in some kind of cult. And that’s the thing when you smoke it has an effect on so much of what you do and how you live your life, if you look at the cultural and lifestyle differences between those who smoke and those who don’t they can be pretty significant. So what you are experiencing may just be something that is an inevitable part of one partner been clean while another uses, it’s probably not a natural match and you may well continue to grow apart. The ideal solution would be if he was to stop too, but if like you say he has little interest in doing that then that’s probably not going to happen. It sounds like a tough one it really does, I for one am not telling you to leave him, I never feel comfortable in giving out that kind of advice, except in really extreme cases perhaps, as I always say whether or not you want to be with him is something you can only decide for yourself, but due to the nature of the situation it may well be one where what will happen will happen. Anyway I am not sure if it has but I hope that helps.

Thanks for posting, take care and please keep us posted on how it goes.

[Tuffluck]

I think your in a very tough situation. But to be honest, unless he is a very recreational pot smoker, I don't believe you will be able to connect with him in that way until he quits as well. If he is a heavy pot smoker, then try to remember how your mentality was when you were a heavy pot smoker. I hope that can help you. It may not be the answer you are looking for but I was in a similar situation, only my girlfriend quit and I kept smoking. And then I lied to her and smoked only at nights... and well.. it just got worse and we broke up. And now i'm finally quitting and realize too many things.