Announcement

Collapse

If you feel a post is inappropriate

Hi folks,

Just a quick note in regards to the moderation of the group. Sometimes if I am a bit short on time or if we get a lot of posts at once I may have to just skim the overall gist of the posts rather than reading them word for word before I approve them, also we all have a different perspective as to what is acceptable and thus there may sometimes be the odd post that gets through that you may feel is inappropriate. And while this doesn’t seem to happen very often if there is anything that anybody reads and feels is inappropriate then please feel free to either shoot me a PM or use the contact form to let me know and I will always be happy to take another look at it.

Please keep in mind however that a post does have to be quite bad or harmful to the group as a whole for us to delete it, I don’t like to be too heavy handed with that kind of moderation and try to reserve it for only when it is absolutely necessarily as generally I like people to be able to have their say and most things can be ironed out with dialogue and often we can all learn from it, that said if you feel something is inappropriate like I say please feel free to let me know and I will be happy to take another look.


All the best,

Cannabis Rehab Admin

If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 15 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!
See more
See less

I have nothing else to lose... first time here.

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I have nothing else to lose... first time here.

    marijuana withdrawal symptoms relief
    I don't know why out of the many forums I picked this one.. all I know is that I've tried to detox the drug over and over and I have always failed.

    I am 24 years old, I am studying biology in college to someday be a pharmacist. I manage decent grades, I live an okay life... okay as in, I have always been able to "get by".

    My apologies if this post seems a bit scrambled... my mind isn't completely focused.

    I smoked 1 hit earlier today of some good green, was high for a short bit. but just like many times before, now when i get high I keep thinking about how I am going to quit, how badly I want to quit, and yet the next day I still smoke again.

    2 months ago I quit for 31 days... and in those 31 days I probably "lived" the most I have in several years... It was probably the longest time I had gone without the drug and at the end of 31 days I not only felt more intelligent, focused, happier, restful, etc, but I didn't really crave the drug much anymore.

    I ended up smoking again on day 32 because I felt confident that I could control it.

    Most of us potheads that are struggling with the addiction will admit that we don't necessarily want to remove the drug from our lives, we just don't want it to control us. Well atleast, thats how it is for me. Ideally I really wish I was one of those type of people that can smoke the drug and get EVERYTHING done and then some.

    I have a close friend that just got accepted to a very prestigious med school and he's been toking with me since 9th grade.

    I think I try to trick myself that the drug isn't the problem.. or that since someone else can live an amazing life while being a full time pot head, I can too.. but now I can admit that this is just not me, I don't have what it takes to like some successful potheads...

    I am blessed that I am not crazy off track and that I have the talents and abilities that I have...

    ugh... this post has turned into a vent more than an actual post...


    What I would like from this forum:

    What I really want from CannabisRehab.org is to post my progress to help others that may need it...

    be able to vent...

    and of course, a shoulder here and there... perhaps some kind words... some help...



    Why this time will be different:

    Everytime i've tried quitting in the past I tried to gather the strength and courage from a combination of myself, friends, family, girls, money etc... but this time I will ask God for help.. and because of that, I feel that this time I will succeed.

    I am more wise now than I have ever been.. I hope that this will come into play.

    There are issues at the house where basically I will be in charge of the family now.. both my older brothers are moving out to live their own lives. Its about time I "man" up.


    Why I am quitting:

    I want my life back!! I still do art here and there but i've lost so much passion for art, and other hobbies like dancing etc. When I smoke the drug i have no passion for anything BUT weed!!

    I want to be more productive... improve my social life... meet the girl of my dreams (or alteast have confidence to go up to a girl!)... I want to get rid of my anxiety/depression issues... I want to save money... improve my memory... do better in school... and many more reasons.

    To sum it up.. I want to be ALL THAT I CAN BE.. life life to my fullest god given potential...





    Thank you all for hearing me out... May God be with us all... and I will break free of this disease.. I will, and I must..

  • #2
    Hi tuff luck and welcome to the forum.

    I think most of us for a good while think we can handle our drug use and like you say there may well be people who can, there may well be people who can handle all kinds of drugs and function fairly well. We have all heard of those highly functional operating coke heads, alcoholics and pot heads, although even for these people their drug use may well catch up with them some day, I was fine with my dope use for quite a while but then when it started to take its toll it hit me hard and at a significantly increasing rate, it caught up with me eventually and it is probably at least starting to catch up with most people here, otherwise they probably wouldn’t be here in the first place. A lot of use can’t handle our drug use and are been significantly negatively affected by it and if you are one of these people then it’s really important to face up to this fact and recognise what is going on which it sounds you have done, well done on that and your decision to get some control over it. I myself and so many of us here have found their passion, for so many of the other things that make life worth living, slip as a result of using drugs, you truly are not alone there.

    But it sounds like you do have an awful lot going for yourself and that in recognising the problem at this stage you can rectify it before it does too much more harm, it’s always better to sort it out sooner rather than later, I myself waited far too long and ended up getting in a right mess. But thankfully you have the wisdom to take action now before this happens.

    You mention you have issues with anxiety and depression, I was wondering did you have these before you started using pot, were you self medicating in some way or are they something that’s happened more since your drug use? Although if you were anything like me maybe it’s both, many “self medicate” with drugs like pot only to experience that in the long term it just makes them worse. I was just wondering what you think is the case for you.

    Anyway I am sure you can do it this time, we will indeed be with you every step of the way, any time you feel you want to vent feel free to come here and lean on us as much as you want. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, I am sure you will be all you can be! I just know you can do it!

    Take care, thanks for sharing your story and like I say please come and vent anytime you feel you need to, we really are happy to have you here. Speak soon.

    Good luck and all the best.
    Cannabis Rehab Admin

    If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

    My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 15 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Admin,

      Thanks for your words. As for the anxiety and depression... depression has been part of my life for a very long time, far before I found the drug in the 8th grade. I was depressed as a kid, but in the long run, the drug made me even more depressed it seems. I used it to help me run away from reality.. so yea, was def self medicating myself with weed.

      The anxiety is a bit more complicated. I was always a bit shy but not always so anxious. I think over time the drug has made me paranoid and created the anxiety problem.


      Day 2

      Yesterday was actually a decent day. I almost slipped towards the end, I really wanted to call my dealer and grab a sack. Now I am so happy that I didnt and I feel twice as strong today.

      However, the detox seems a bit worse today... I felt very anxious and paranoid at school today, I just wanted to leave school asap. I even missed my early morning class that I wasn't very happy about.

      My next class starts soon and I will be heading out for that in a bit.

      I am meeting with a close friend that is 3-4 weeks clean of weed/alcohol/and even cigarettes... and I am going to first lift weights then meet him up for some intense cardio to hopefully exhaust myself and get good sleep tonight.

      Otherwise, I am looking forward to the weekend comming to an end as then it will be my day 5 or so.

      My mentality has changed a lot just from 1 DAY of no weed!!!! ITS CRAZY... just yesterday I started to slowly trick myself into thinking the drug was okay, that it wasnt the problem, in fact it was the only good thing going on in my life! and today I feel the complete opposite! Also, while laying around last night I realized a lot of things.. its like small details that I would normally have blocked out.

      Also, I had a weird dark and twisted dream last night but I remember a lot of it.. prob the first time Ive had a dream in awhile.. i like it!

      I hope day 30 or so comes soon. I just want to be done with withdrawal, and this time I won't slip like I did before by tricking myself that I can control weed, or smoke it recreationally...

      I realized that the drug just like all other addictions is a cycle.. and once u smoke or take part of it, your right back into that cycle... there is no recreational use, its either you smoke or you dont.. either your in that cycle or your not... and I am going to break this cycle and not turn back dammnit!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Food for thought...

        Whats crazy is that I always thought the drug helped me manage my stress.. in fact it does the opposite. Temporarily it helps me get rid of stress, help me feel content with where I am.. but then the problem doesn't get fixed, I just run from it.

        I also realized I am only able to keep up with school because of deadlines... and even with deadlines, I procrastinate like crazy and make the assignment twice as difficult and stressful on myself.

        But for other things that don't have a deadline.. like most things in life don't... I don't get crap done!!

        So the bottom line is that the drug just makes life even more difficult.. and when your such a pothead you don't realize these things.. shoot, you don't realize much when your in a cloud 9 24/7.

        Just wanted to vent.. thx.

        Comment


        • #5
          Day 5

          Its rough. Not going to lie, i'm withdrawaling bad. Tons of anxiety, a bit depressed, but the insomnia has improved significantly.

          Although I am still withdrawaling, I feel that my will power is stronger everyday that passes. I feel a bit unstable.. life is tough right now and I'm in a serious rut.

          I think after this week its going to get A LOT better.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hey Tuffluck

            it will only get better, just take one day at a time and keep reminding yourself that you can do it and remember all the reasons you are quitting in the first place. day 5 still a bit early days but im on 14 days now and would say just started feeling better a few days ago so i hope that gives you some hope. life is tough and is even tougher when you are a smoker, you have to work that bit harder. Stay strong and you will start to feel better in the next couple of weeks

            Comment


            • #7
              Hello Tuffluck

              I have just read your post and it could have been written about me. I have just finished my first year at University and being stoned made it twice as hard as it needed to be. I too meet deadlines but don't really do things that are down to me to sort out, they just get left undone.
              I quit at the beginning of February and i did a total of 60 days, then i felt i has it all under control and i gave in to temptation. I have had a ten week relapse. Tomorrow is day one.

              I really wish you the best of luck quitting. You sound really determined and I hope that we can help each other out.

              Thank you
              Cath
              xxxxx
              Together we can do it

              Comment


              • #8
                Hello Cath, I received an e-mail stating that Cath has requested that we become friends and that is certainly fine by me. I definitely need as much encouragement/support as I can get. I would be honored to become friends and lend whatever advice or support I can as well. Thanks Sincerely, Gil aka bearrusty1

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi all,

                  Thanks for the kind comments. I too hope we can all be friends.. I am all about helping each other out.

                  Day 8

                  Well day 7 is done with and I am beginning day 8. Things are looking so much better than before. My mind seems to be so much more clearer now and that cloud that used to float over my head is diminishing. I am getting much more restful sleep and enjoying every bit of it. I have been having some crazy vivid and FUN dreams! I have yet to have any kind of nightmare.

                  My anxiety is toning down and my depression is nearly gone. Just a few days ago I felt like a complete failure... thinking completely negative and just really in a bad slump.

                  I feel like a brand new person and I am excited to see what the future holds. I know I won't feel this good on a regular basis but wow... as of right now I really cannot complain.

                  I'm going to workout tomorrow, handle some errands, do some school work, and keep my head up.

                  Lately in bed i've been praying a lot more, realizing tons of stuff, and trying to think very positive.


                  Question

                  Does anyone else have bad experience with alcohol during the drug withdrawal? I've felt this over and over before... its like once I quit the drug I need atleast a month of soberness because when I drink I feel like I get really emo and in a bad mood.
                  Just curious if this is just me or not.

                  Thanks.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Day 9

                    End of day 9 comes to an end and I must admit this has been my best day yet. At school, it was just a normal day for the most part.. and it would have been exactly the same had I been blazing.

                    I came home after school and took a nap, got ready to head to a friends place for NBA game 7 finals. I wasn't really nervous about going.. I knew it would be only close friends but I was slightly anxious about how I would act.

                    Well I just got home and I felt absolutely great at the party. I wasn't anxious one bit. I was myself and I made great jokes, had good laughs, and turned down a xanax that my friend offered. I also didn't drink a single beer which I normally would have tried to down quite a few. My friend smoked very close to my vicinity and I smelled the drug in the air, but I really disliked the smell. It didn't bother me at all.

                    On the drive home I felt really good. Normally I would be thinking about how I would be feeling without weed, perhaps just reminiscing of the past.. but today i realized that I can really let go.

                    Whats crazy is how your mentality changes after your off the drug even if its for a little over a week. In the beginning I kept questioning if I could really do this... then I made excuses to why I should smoke... then I blamed myself and started to believe the drug wasn't the problem...

                    well at the end of day 9 I now realize I am that much closer to getting to where I want to be. At the same time, I realize... the drug was the problem. I am also feeling better about myself and have better self esteem. I notice that I am slowly focusing more on the important things and letting go of the past (this used to be a HUGE problem for me). My mentality seems so much more clearer now and I feel more confident that I can face the current issues that I have. Before I felt so much stress about problems in my life, but now I feel like I can conquer them.

                    Time for a little browsing and off to bed I go.

                    Lets see how this goes...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Well done Tuffluck,

                      You are doing so well, I'm so happy that you are coping. Just wanted to remind you that when things get tough we are always here. xxx
                      Together we can do it

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hey Tuffluck

                        Im so pleased you are feeling so positive but please keep in mind the negative thoughts and your reasons for stopping as i have had several attempts before and before i knew it i thought i had it all under control and thought just the one wont hurt. so please just try and keep that in the back of your mind, because once you have one, you are back to square one!

                        seriously though, congratulations and things can only getting better.

                        Keep strong

                        FQ

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks yall!

                          forever quitting, thats what happened to me last time. I quit for 31 days and felt the best I had ever felt in such a long time. I then relapsed because I thought I could control it... it only took 1 time before I spiraled out of control. That will not happen this time =)

                          Thanks again folks.. I'll keep posting. I'm shooting for that 30 day marker, then 60, then 90... and after that, I think i'll truly be in the clear!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I had an okay day.. helped my bro move.. got to see some old friends. Anyhow..

                            I got up to turn my computer on because I absolutely HAD to log this... I layed in bed, said a prayer... and the feeling that came about was more joyous than anything I have ever felt in who knows how long.

                            Day 13

                            Day 12 has offically ended... But the beginning of day 13 has been my best day yet. After my prayer, I felt a surge of happiness. I laid there letting my mind go and it sure as heck did. Everything seems so clear now. I thought about my past and how I used to be so negative... immediately I started to change my negative thoughts to positive.

                            I realize right now what I want more than anything is "for the world to see the real me". I realize I cut my life short because I haven't been the real me since 10 years ago, before I began pot. I feel that my major issues of depression and anxiety could have very well been drug induced. In fact I think it was! I achieved a higher level of consciousness today. When I heard that before I never really knew the meaning. But omggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. This feeling is so good.

                            I feel so content with knowing that when I am the real me (and that will be soon enough), that I will be okay with everything! I mean really.. to limit your potential with a drug is to cut your life short... and i've done that for so long. I am slowly (although it feels rapid at times) am coming to my senses and my mentality has grown so much that I know soon enough I will be able to accept all my wrong doings (including weed), and finally be free!

                            God is so good. I realize I neglected so many relationships including my relationship with God and all of it is to blame on weed. Its done nothing good for me.

                            I still cant explain clearly how I feel right now but it is INTENSE, and AMAZING.

                            I havent felt like this in I think NEVER.

                            God bless you all. If I can give anyone advice on this battle with weed, it would be to sincerely pray. SERIOUSLY!!!

                            back to bed I go... but wow. Everytime I think about how I want the world to see the real me, it just brings a smile to my face.

                            I also would like to tell you of this quote that made me happy... I actually read it on a rehab group and added a little bit. It wasn't a quote to begin with, just an analogy.

                            "A gold coin buried in a puddle of mud is still a gold coin. It just takes some cleaning before it can shine again".

                            My friends... we are that gold coin... and it is OUR time to shine =)

                            night.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              marijuana withdrawal symptoms relief
                              Hi Tuffluck

                              It sounds like you are doing great, drugs can induce anxiety and depression, it sounds like you are better off without them and reaching a far higher level of consciousness and best of all it is really you.

                              Anyway it sounds like everything is going really well, I am glad to hear you faith and prayer are helping, stick with it.

                              Take care and please keep us posted.
                              Cannabis Rehab Admin

                              If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

                              My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 15 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!

                              Comment

                              Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
                              Auto-Saved
                              Smile :) Stick Out Tongue :p Wink ;) Mad :mad: Big Grin :D Frown :( Embarrassment :o Confused :confused: Roll Eyes (Sarcastic) :rolleyes: Cool :cool: EEK! :eek:
                              x
                              Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
                              x
                              Working...
                              X