Why do I do weed?

[ng2]

Im 28 and have been a heavy the drug smoker since 16. Im so desperate to stop, but the thought of having nothing around to smoke totally fills me with panic. Its always the first thing i think about when i wake up and i just cant sleep unless i smoke joint after joint until i'm knocked out. I reward myself with a smoke when I think Ive acheived something, and use it to cope when im stressed. I feel like if I quitting would be pointless because I think nothing in my life will improve anyway. Im pretty sure the smoking has caused me to fail in achieving goals and reaching my potential ALOT over the years. Ive been passive, lazy, late, relaxed, neutral, unassertive in situations where I shouldnt have and probably wouldnt have been if I hadnt been stoned. I fear that its too late and Ive ruined my chances of any sort of good career or relationship and done too much damage to my brain. Im trying to work out if I stop, will my bad luck end and I'll be able to get a good job and a girlfriend etc., or was my life gonna be like this regardless of smoking weed. Or has the drug caused the problems? Theres plenty of people who dont do any drugs and still feel depressed, lazy and unmotivated. Im scared that if I puy myself through the hell of withdrawal, I wont see any improvement. I have 3 kids, I need to stop for their sake more than anything. Its hard to see a way out right now though. A male my age out in the world alone doesnt get much support or sympathy so I'm finding it hard.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi N2 and welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you are having a pretty tough time, I did too, I know how much it can suck. Although we will never know how things would have been had we not chosen the path we chosen, if you do feel that using drugs is causing you to walk a path of failure and you are right, then there’s every chance things will change when you stop doing what it causing the problem.

Nobodies saying that people who don’t use drugs don’t have problems too, or that life will suddenly become utopia if you quit, in fact often it has to get worse before it will get better, but it may get a heck of a lot better and you will never know how much better until you try, so you really have nothing to lose, hey at the end of the day for arguments sake if you really don’t like life better after you have give quitting a real go, then you can always go back to using if that’s what you want to do, but it’s got to be worth the risk of some short term hardship for what could be long term happiness, besides it might not be that bad, obviously this is a place for people who do find it hard not to use so you are likely to read posts of that nature, but not everybody finds it as hard as some of the people here do, you may not find it that bad. But the bottom line in regards to all these things is you will never know unless you try.

Anyway I know it’s tough getting sympathy and support isn’t always considered to be part of been a “man”, but that’s BS, everyone deserves empathy as support as much as any other, so any time you feel the need to get something off your chest, or need some advice please feel free to lean on us we will always be happy to help.

Things have been a little quite around here the last couple of weeks compared to normal, it may be because we have just done a big upgrade which may have affected our search engine rankings a little, but I am going to work on some promotion which should help us to get the posting up a bit again. Anyway I will be here to listen and offer advice regardless, so anytime you are feeling bad please come and tell me about it.

The time to work towards quitting is now, so either start to reduce the amount you are smoking first or go cold turkey, I am not sure which you want to do, you may want to think about that different people find different methods easier than the other. But get your plan together and start to put it into action. You are not alone buddy, we will be with you every step of the way.

Take care, thanks for posting and please keep us posted on how it goes.

All the best

[forever quitting]

Hey ng2

"why do i do it?" - first of all i can totally empathise with your story. it sounds so familiar and could have been written by me. the drug was my world, i knew nothing else. everything i did was fitted aroound smoking. i couldn't ever go without - the panic you feel is just how i felt, if i was running low - it would start, even when i had, there was panic - how long will this bit last me maybe i should stock up so i definitely dont run out. i smoked first thing in the morning, went to work and all i could think about when at work was getting home to a smoke. the fact that you mention you "reward" yourself strikes a chord with me - they were my words, my smoke was my reward or treat for a hard day at work etc etc. i agree with you about the failure to achieve goals- i think when you are a stoner for most of the time you are just happy with your lot and it knocks your confidence to try anything new and robs you of your ambition. it certainly did with me. i have been stuck in same job for around 10 years now and have wanted to various things but iv always taken the easy option - smoking and tomorrow is another day....... I smoked for 22 years, now 36 and who knows what damage i have done to my brain, everyone is different. i have been off the drug 14 weeks 2 days now and brain function is returning, although short-term memory not so good, a side effect of the smoking perhaps but no one can be sure. i dont think it's ever too late to fulfill your ambitions and you will never know unless you try. Im going to uni hopefully next year if i get on the course to do something completely different - something i wouldn't have the confidence to do or would have dismissed when i was smoking. My son was a major factor in my stopping and also my mental health - have suffered from depression and anxiety for years and since stopping i dont feel anxious, feel more confident and able and have been trying new things. im not saying that life dramatically improves when you stop but it certainly makes your head clearer and able to think about what you really want to do. i regret all the times i was smoking and not spending time with my son and chasing out of the kitchen because i was smoking, it makes you really selfish but i want better for my son and want him to have a happy, fully alert mum, one that notices his needs and is there for him. yes the withdrawal was tough, for me it was three weeks of emotions all over the place, sleepless nights, anxiety, tearfulness, stomach problems and sweats but dont let that put you off as it may not be as long for yourself and you sound like you want to do something about your pot use, otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum. If you ever want to chat or get advice i'd be more than glad to listen.

Keep strong

FQ