1 Week Update

[Searching]

Hi everyone,

It has been a week today since I smoked last. I wanted to write about how it has been.

For the positives, I'm really grateful to CannabisRehab.org for the help it has given. I've been running every day and at points have felt really good. When I've felt down, the phrase by Tonka 'Relax, you're doing it' has given me good feelings - yes, I am quitting, yes, I am beginning to do what I wanted to do for so long. Even though I feel bad this is the start of a new existence. Thank you to Rehab Admin and Forever Quitting for their replies to my other posts, and to everyone who has shared on this forum.

I was haunted by my smoking, and I knew that I would not be truthfully happy until I stopped.

On the negatives, I have felt pretty hollow this week. This might get a little negative guys, so sorry. It might help to share it though, for myself and for others who might be feeling similar. Hopefully by next week I can tell you that it is better.

I found out this week that my ex has started seeing someone else. That has been pretty painful, and a lot of my dreams have been about it. I also am trying to choose a direction at university and a career and feel really lost. I don't know what to say when I'm around people. I'm not sure if these things seem worse this week. At points I've felt like I'd rather not exist. Sleeping is the most enjoyable part of my day.

I am glad to be doing this though. Better now than later. I know it has only been a week so I will keep going and see how things are next week. I think I started smoking because I was without direction and now I have to find it.

It is nice to get this stuff off my chest. Thanks to all those who have quit before me and have written that this will get better.

[forever quitting]

Hey Searching

Well done!!! a week is great, keep it up That's great you've been out running, so many people say exercise helps (although im still not motivated enough - yet!). it's good to find another outlet as you are going through quitting. I'm on day 15 now and feel like i am on autopilot at the mo - not feeling down but not feeling happy either, kinda just empty is the only way i can describe it. The last time I quit at this stage (2 weeks in) felt terrible, thought i'd never get through it, thought i'd be a tearful, non-functioning individual forever! it didn't last though and after 3 weeks i started to feel "normal" and enjoy life without the haze. This gives me hope as im not feeling half as bad as the last time.

It's tough when your ex moves on - im still not over mine and that was 3 years ago - pushed him away due to my obsession with pot and been full of regret since. I am also having the vivid dreams and he pops up in them which can be difficult as when i wake up they seem so real. I find that when withdrawing you tend to dream about a lot of people you haven't seen in a while and also situations which you may have not dealt with emotionally due to smoking pot at the time. This is certainly true for me. I think it's just your mind getting a chance to process things properly. i too look forward to sleeping, i think as it means i have got through another day and in turn i am a step nearer to my goal of being smoke free.

Just remember you will have ups and downs in your recovery but keep strong, i am sure we can all do this.

Take care

FQ

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hey searching

Don’t apologise it’s important that you get these things off your chest, sometimes we have to discuss the negative in order to deal with it and move on, it’s all part of the therapeutic process.

Hang in there, stay strong, keep up the good work and please keep us posted.

Speak soon

[abiogenesis]

Hey searching,

I just wondered how it's going for you? Stay strong, make use of CannabisRehab.org and get the stuff out of your chest!

Greetings,

[Searching]

Hi everyone thanks so much for your posts and care.

It has been about two weeks since I posted that update. I haven't been totally the drug free. I've been keeping a record, and I smoked 7 out of the 14 days. It's more like day three for me now than week three.

I have been feeling so sad at times that it has just seemed better to smoke. Today has been one of them. I went to my dealers place and she is out of business at the moment - no one home. It's been like that for the past three days and in terms of me quitting it has been a good thing.

I feel so confused. Yesterday was fun and easy but today I feel so low.

At the moment I'm writing my final year thesis for university. I feel like doing well is the thing that will allow me to progress from this sad period of my life to a new one - to get a job in an area that I'm passionate about. That is the time that I really look forward to and want to be off the drug for. Quitting is making work and thinking really difficult. I know I should stick it out but it feels so easy to smoke and have ideas and direction again. Quitting is so hard that I'm not doing the things I ought to be.

I don't know when this will end. I just want to be normal again.

Not much anyone can do besides myself. I have more and more respect for the people in CannabisRehab.org who have successfully quit.

[abiogenesis]

Hi Searching,

I understand deeply what you say. Indeed the thing that makes it very hard to quitting the drug is: it's hard to detox and it feels so easy to smoke. The irony is it's a battle that we have with our own brains. Brain vs Brain.. One opponent of the fight is the "short circuit" which is fed by every smoke. It shows great ressistance to the part which wants to detox because it's so easy to get the needed dopamine from weed. But the problem is we had all our dopamine levels normal before being addicted. Now, it needs the drug just to adjust dopamine level to normal. And without the weed, it's totally imbalanced and need quite some time to get back to normal. It's really like to bankrupt all your money in the bank. Brain has a storage of hormones that makes us feel good, enjoy things in life, i.e.. and it releases the dopamine in little amounts with our every act in life. When its get addicted, it releases all it has in the storage when we use the drug and there is nothing left to enjoy the life. And now, it needs the drug to enjoy the things it used enjoy normally.

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is certainly don't beat up yourself. Addiction is really a very severe disease that mess up with the complex mechanism of the brain. We have billions of neurons that are organized to perform many complex functions but when it gets addicted; it has one-track mission: use the drug. It's certainly not easy to get rid of this. Relapsing is a very normal thing actually; it's the nature of the disease. It may take several attempts to detox (it took more than 15 attempts for me to detox for more than a month). And indeed, the changes that you do in your life opens the way to the recovery. To get a job in an area that you're passionate about will give you a great reason to detox weed. Because your brain will perform much much better when it's totally the drug free. It certainly decrease one's iq and all the cognitive abilites.

By the way, you write that you smoked 7 out of the 14 days. That makes me think that tapering off it gradually and then quit might also work for you. Because that shows very clearly that you have some power to resist smoking. If you didn't have, you would be certainly smoking 7/24 because that's what the addicted part of your brain demands from you.

I wish things work as good as they can for you. Please always come here and share your thoughts and feelings since it really gives some perspective to us to share our thoughts with other people. All the best,