Relationship problems caused by Cannabis?

[pink pantaa]

Hey guys!
Does anybody of you has problems with his girlfriend because of smoking too much weed?
How did you solve this conflict?
And in what way did your smoking affect your relationship?

every coment helps!
thanks!
Pink panta

[abiogenesis]

Hi Pink Pantaa

I wouldn't imagine a relationship without problems if one of the partner is addicted to weed. It almost destroyed my marriage. Only way to solve to conflict is to detox the drug i guess.

[pink pantaa]

Did you quit it then to save your marriage?
was it hard for you?

hope everything worked out good!!

[abiogenesis]

Quitting the drug just gave me a second chance. Our relationship was dying as all i thought in life was about smoking. It was very obvious that i wouldn't have a marriage and life if i continued to smoking. And saving my marriage gave me a great motivation to detox because i had no hope in saving my life (my connection to world) and my mind (my mental health). From the moment i truely decided to quit, my wife happened to be very big support to me and we gave a very hard battle for 1.5 year. But our relationship get damaged a lot during this period. Because practically all our life was about making me sober. But now i'm five months sober and as i'm recovering, our relationship is also being recovered. I hope everything will be better for me and our relationship as we leave this period of our lives behind.

All the best,

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi pink pantaa and welcome.

Using drugs can affect your relationships, all relationships not just the one with your partner, or at least it can for some anyway, but if it is this that is causing the problem then it’s probably not going to get sorted until you stop, I know it’s stating the obvious really but sometimes we have to face the fact that it’s one or the other, unfortunately there are some situations in life where you can’t always have both. It does often seem to be the case that people who regularly use drugs and those that don’t often don’t mix, that can go for all relationships friendships included. I guess that’s why a lot of stoners end up only mixing with others that share their habit, so unless that’s the life you want to live then you can find it limits your horizons a bit.

Anyway not much of an easy solution I am afraid, but if the person you are with isn’t ok with it then they probably never will be. If you want the relationship to have a future then you may have to quit.

Thanks for posting, take care and please keep us posted.

All the best

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

relationship strains

Well..I am just about to give my partner an ultimatium..that is, seek councelling advice and quit the weed, or you loose me and your daughter.
He is in complete denial about his use, however it controls his life, socially awkward, moody in the mornings (before he's had a smoke), the list could go on forever, but I'm too upset to go on about it.
We can't go on trips overseas because that arises obvious problems, i'm just sick of the whole bloody thing, had enough. Don't want my daughter to grow up around it etc etc
How do I get him to realise he has a problem. I thought 1st step would be to go see a councellor and see if they confur with me?

[abiogenesis]

Hi Unregistered Guest and welcome to the forum,

I have a great empathy with what you say since we encountered the same things with my wife. If I didn't decide to quit, she would also probably have left me. People who use the drug are mostly in denial about their use because of this myth that the drug isn't addictive. How to overcome his denial? It's something complicated I guess. He should realize that he is behaving in this way because a severe neurological disorder is built up in his brain due to his the drug abuse. That's why he is in a different mental state now where he can't think clearly and rationally, he can't enjoy doing things without being high etc. etc. Making him to see a councellor is a good idea because they might make him realize the severity of his problem. May be you could also do some search for yourself on the facts about addiction, understand the reasons that makes him behave in this way, and then try to explain him about the things you found out. And I think you should make him realize that he will lost you and your daughter if he doesn't take this problem seriously. And he should understand that it's not a bluff what you do, it's a reality that expect your family as the consequence of his addiction. But:

and this is an important but. When you make him realize the seriousness of the problem and decide to detox weed, it might not be an easy path for both of you. Although all the purpose of my life was about to detox weed, it took one year for me to achieve it. And most people achieve to detox it after several attempts. And during this period, you should be a big support to him and shouldn't let him to drown in his addiction. You both should be aware of the fact that you're having a battle against to a real neurological disease. Being addicted and recovering from it is something we should take very very seriously. But once we achieve it, we realize that this worths everything we went through.

I wish you all the best in your path. Please keep us posted on how it goes and feel free to discuss more about the problem,

Take care,

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

Thanks for your encouragement...

He has agreed to see a councellor who has a drug background...of course, he doesn't think our problems are down to his drug use...and I'm not suggesting it is entirely down to his drug use...but I feel it is a major contributor.

He thinks I am trying to find something to blame everything on, and because I don't like him smoking, he thinks it's my opportunity to 'force' him to quit. He is quite adamant that he doesn't have a problem, that we could easily go overseas for a holiday etc without him having to score a smoke, so I said 'prove it', show me you can go without it for 6 months...i'll give up drinking, so we are both sacrificing something. He wormed in the chair for quite some time...and finally said OK just to keep me happy, but I don't actaully see him doing anything prior to any third party councelling.

Least I have accomplished my 1st step ie. agree to see a councellor with a drug background (even though there is a 4wk waiting list) We'll see where it takes us.

I'll let you know x

[NotMyRealName]

Hi unregistered Guest,

in my case I found that I was using more and more cannabis as a crutch to get me through the most awful, abusive marriage, and whilst I am here becuase I admit I have an addiction, I can still honestly say that my use was not a cause of the relationship problem. Even at my worst, I was forever begging my wife to try do discuss with me what she thought the problem was, what her feelings were, to see a consellor together, to even tell me what she would like me to change about my behaviour - but she couldn't/wouldn't. I think she has an ego addiction that makes my drug problem look innocent.

Now that there is a light at the end of the tunnel as far as tying up the divorce details forever, I have found that I no longer "needed" the drug, but had become addicted in the meantime. I found that coming to this site, reading of other people's experiences, seeing I am not alone, and getting the support I have had here has really helped. Why not try to get him to have a look at this cannabis rehab site - both for him to realise he has an addiction, and to see that he can end it?