Hello! I am so glad CannabisRehab.org is here! I've been reading posts here for a few weeks, while I was mentally preparing to detox smoking. These posts have helped me to understand what I'm feeling, and I do appreciate all of the info.
I'm 44, and I've been a heavy daily smoker since I was 20. I smoke about 1/2 oz per week, give or take, but its usually just regular stuff, and only occasionally the more expensive stuff. To tell you the truth, I really enjoy my high. I have never tried to detox before, ever. The reason I decided to detox now is that I am engaged to be married and we will be going on a 10 day cruise on May 2 for our honeymoon. This cruise is something I have always wanted to do, but never could because I could never go for that long without weed. Most of my vacations are taken in the car so I can take my the drug with me.
The few times in the last 24 years that I couldn't find the drug has been a nightmare. I am a complete fool without weed. When I have daily weed, I smoke in the morning, at lunch, and all night till bedtime. I am normally always happy, I have a good job at a college, I also just graduated from college last May (a little late! but I did it!). I feel like I am a productive person living a productive life. I homeschooled my kids (they are grown now), I volunteer at a museum, I have a succsessful eBay business, and I have a great life. I feel like pot gives me the energy to be productive, it makes me feel good, and it makes me feel normal.
Now, I must say that when I don't have weed, I am a very ugly person. I generally make sure to get more before I run out, but occasionally I have to wait and I run out. During the times I am "out" I have headaches, sweating, uncontrolable shaking, mental fog, flu-like symptoms, depression, and I am short tempered and irritated with everyone and everything. I'm a BIG BABY with no pot, and that makes me sad! 2 weeks ago I was out for 6 days, and it was so bad for me. I was so miserable and so sick that when a friend called and had a bowl to share, I drove 15 minutes in an icy snowstorm, in my PJ's, at 11:00 at night, just to share 1 bowl. I felt perfectly fine within 5 minutes of getting to her house.
From reading these posts, I now see why my behavior has been ugly. I'm addicted! I feel like I have an excuse for my behavior (well, kind of!) but that doesn't make it any easier. I can understand my behavior a little better now.
I've been so worried about the detox (mental and physical) trauma I will have to go through, and I have been dreading quitting. My job is my biggest fear. How am I possibly going to go to work and act like there is nothing wrong when I am in mental and physical pain?? Call in sick?? What if my detox takes weeks? or months?? My boss is not understanding at all, and I have NEVER called in sick in 5 years. (during the 6 days I was out, I worked in a different office ALONE, so I was able to barely get through the days at work. This month, I am side-by-side with my boss!! The fear of screwing up at work has kept me wanting to smoke to keep things normal.
Although it will be hard, I made the decision that I need to detox before the big honeymoon cruise. It is not an option to take pot with me, and I don't want to be an ugly person on my honeymoon. SO, I smoked my last bowl at 1:00 AM last night (just about 24 hours ago).
Today hasn't been bad at all. I have been in a great mood all day. Laughing, joking, and keeping busy. Physically, I have had a minor low-grade headache since about 2:00 PM, and my hands were sweating like crazy earlier tonight for about 15 minutes, although not sweating now. My appitite was OK today, but not great. No other physical symptoms today. (YAY ME!!!!)
For mental symptoms, I have thought about pot all day long, but I don't feel like I HAVE to have some. I felt like something was missing all day, or that I was forgetting something, but it wasn't too bad. At this point, I feel this is do-able.
I am hoping tomorrow is as good as today was, but from my own experiences and from reading this forum, I know the worst is probably coming soon.
Thanks for reading this! There is really nowhere else I can go to talk about all this. I'm glad to have this place where people understand what I am going through. My smoker friends seem to all be able to go without pot with no trouble, and they don't see what the big deal with quitting is.
I'm 44, and I've been a heavy daily smoker since I was 20. I smoke about 1/2 oz per week, give or take, but its usually just regular stuff, and only occasionally the more expensive stuff. To tell you the truth, I really enjoy my high. I have never tried to detox before, ever. The reason I decided to detox now is that I am engaged to be married and we will be going on a 10 day cruise on May 2 for our honeymoon. This cruise is something I have always wanted to do, but never could because I could never go for that long without weed. Most of my vacations are taken in the car so I can take my the drug with me.
The few times in the last 24 years that I couldn't find the drug has been a nightmare. I am a complete fool without weed. When I have daily weed, I smoke in the morning, at lunch, and all night till bedtime. I am normally always happy, I have a good job at a college, I also just graduated from college last May (a little late! but I did it!). I feel like I am a productive person living a productive life. I homeschooled my kids (they are grown now), I volunteer at a museum, I have a succsessful eBay business, and I have a great life. I feel like pot gives me the energy to be productive, it makes me feel good, and it makes me feel normal.
Now, I must say that when I don't have weed, I am a very ugly person. I generally make sure to get more before I run out, but occasionally I have to wait and I run out. During the times I am "out" I have headaches, sweating, uncontrolable shaking, mental fog, flu-like symptoms, depression, and I am short tempered and irritated with everyone and everything. I'm a BIG BABY with no pot, and that makes me sad! 2 weeks ago I was out for 6 days, and it was so bad for me. I was so miserable and so sick that when a friend called and had a bowl to share, I drove 15 minutes in an icy snowstorm, in my PJ's, at 11:00 at night, just to share 1 bowl. I felt perfectly fine within 5 minutes of getting to her house.
From reading these posts, I now see why my behavior has been ugly. I'm addicted! I feel like I have an excuse for my behavior (well, kind of!) but that doesn't make it any easier. I can understand my behavior a little better now.
I've been so worried about the detox (mental and physical) trauma I will have to go through, and I have been dreading quitting. My job is my biggest fear. How am I possibly going to go to work and act like there is nothing wrong when I am in mental and physical pain?? Call in sick?? What if my detox takes weeks? or months?? My boss is not understanding at all, and I have NEVER called in sick in 5 years. (during the 6 days I was out, I worked in a different office ALONE, so I was able to barely get through the days at work. This month, I am side-by-side with my boss!! The fear of screwing up at work has kept me wanting to smoke to keep things normal.
Although it will be hard, I made the decision that I need to detox before the big honeymoon cruise. It is not an option to take pot with me, and I don't want to be an ugly person on my honeymoon. SO, I smoked my last bowl at 1:00 AM last night (just about 24 hours ago).
Today hasn't been bad at all. I have been in a great mood all day. Laughing, joking, and keeping busy. Physically, I have had a minor low-grade headache since about 2:00 PM, and my hands were sweating like crazy earlier tonight for about 15 minutes, although not sweating now. My appitite was OK today, but not great. No other physical symptoms today. (YAY ME!!!!)
For mental symptoms, I have thought about pot all day long, but I don't feel like I HAVE to have some. I felt like something was missing all day, or that I was forgetting something, but it wasn't too bad. At this point, I feel this is do-able.
I am hoping tomorrow is as good as today was, but from my own experiences and from reading this forum, I know the worst is probably coming soon.
Thanks for reading this! There is really nowhere else I can go to talk about all this. I'm glad to have this place where people understand what I am going through. My smoker friends seem to all be able to go without pot with no trouble, and they don't see what the big deal with quitting is.
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