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Hi folks,

Just a quick note in regards to the moderation of the group. Sometimes if I am a bit short on time or if we get a lot of posts at once I may have to just skim the overall gist of the posts rather than reading them word for word before I approve them, also we all have a different perspective as to what is acceptable and thus there may sometimes be the odd post that gets through that you may feel is inappropriate. And while this doesn’t seem to happen very often if there is anything that anybody reads and feels is inappropriate then please feel free to either shoot me a PM or use the contact form to let me know and I will always be happy to take another look at it.

Please keep in mind however that a post does have to be quite bad or harmful to the group as a whole for us to delete it, I don’t like to be too heavy handed with that kind of moderation and try to reserve it for only when it is absolutely necessarily as generally I like people to be able to have their say and most things can be ironed out with dialogue and often we can all learn from it, that said if you feel something is inappropriate like I say please feel free to let me know and I will be happy to take another look.


All the best,

Cannabis Rehab Admin

If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 15 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!
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A Poem about Cannabis-Related Derealisation & Depersonalisation

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  • A Poem about Cannabis-Related Derealisation & Depersonalisation

    marijuana withdrawal symptoms relief
    I've been addled by cannabis-related properties of derealisation and depersonalisation for a few months now.

    I've been riddled with vague ideas about the problem without being able to verbalise them since first triggered, until 2 nights ago when suddenly how cannabis provokes and exaggerates derealisation & depersonalisation for me personally, became clear.

    I hope that I will get to refine everything I thought about and share it here (at the moment its just in rushed pages of cues and notes), and despite that how it may not apply to everyone, I hope that some people can relate and maybe we can tackle this.

    But for now, I thought I might share a poem I wrote about it using Christopher Columbus and his journey as a metaphor


    Christopher the One-Man Ghost Audience

    Cannabis the antagonist,
    Shadows amongst the mist,
    You may refuse to see the problem,
    But the problem still persists.

    Columbus sees the threat,
    and his ego ascends.
    A simplicity applies
    that he cannot comprehend.

    Survival costs,
    Strength in self-destruction,
    A finished product but a
    Diminished function.

    Timeless life,
    Glass eyes to opaque windows,
    Could no longer tell
    nor give a f*ck
    which way the wind blows.

    Family grow more distant as
    crewmen can't communicate.
    Can't recall yesterday
    from this isolated state.

    Echos without a source
    travel a vacant space.
    There seems to be a building
    but it doesn't have a base.

    Feel fire water earth and air
    combining into stone.
    Pray these mindfield journals
    hold true to take me home.


    Intelligence never felt so artificial,
    I hope naxolones beneficial,
    Misguided attention:
    The Cause, Effect, and Solution.

    The necessary conflicts designed by evolution.

  • #2
    Hi Grinky and welcome to the forum

    Great poem, thanks for the share, I really can identify, I too am stuck in the haze, make sure you check out my recent post about my experience in this area.

    http://www.forummatters.com/forums/s...osis-treatment

    Take care and please keep us posted, I hope to speak to you some more.

    All the best
    Cannabis Rehab Admin

    If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

    My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 15 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!

    Comment


    • #3
      Great poem!

      Actually I couldn't be clear on how long you are sober. Would you mind to share your story a little?

      All the best,

      Comment


      • #4
        Sorry I've taken so long...

        ..to reply!

        Erm, actually, discovering all my thoughts about this only unlocked in me after smoking a blunt for valentines day... Irony, much?

        I think the bane of the condition is that we think we were permanently damaged. I used to think that 150%, before I had learned of Depersonalisation/Derealisation as a name and was confused as to what was happening, and whenever I saw something that could be interpretted as evidence that something was wrong, the negativity in my mental state would multiply tenfold and I'd feel hopeless.

        However, I no longer think it is permanent. We're just people with funny genes. Scientists researched on marijuana-antagonised schizophrenia for example, in people with a hereditary disposition towards Schizophrenia but not necessarily mentally ill themselves. They tested two genes, lets call them X & Y. When X & Y were normal, the drug didn't seem to provoke schizophrenic properties. However, when X was normal and Y was abnormal, the likelihood of the drug opening hidden schizophrenic tendancies increased something along the lines of (cant remember specifically) 10%. When both X and Y was abnormal, the drug increased the possibility something like 600%. All in genes.

        I think its likely that people with marijuana-induced derealisation or depersonalisation have some level of "dissassociative defense mechanisms" by default. (Recently, due to the discovery and therefore research of "Maladaptive Daydreaming", I know I identify with that personality trait.) Having anxiety problems in your family also contribute to the likelihood of it happening. And excessive weed-use and/or stress will provoke it out in people with these dispositions. Its just in our genes.

        But neuroplasticity is a very optimistic word, manipulatable psyche is a also an optimistic phrase, and the idea that nothing in our subconscious is ever forgotten, just maybe progressively inaccessible, is also hope-inspiring.

        I'm going to have a wander to look at your post now.. And hopefully share / discuss more information and back stories!

        Comment


        • #5
          marijuana withdrawal symptoms relief
          my story

          hi all

          ive been reading a lot on the web recently about people affected my depersonalization derealisation after marijuana use so i thought it best to offer some light to those sufferers.

          when i was 16 (1994) i used recreational drugs occasionally. speed, ecstasy, alcohol, cigarettes. i used them without any issues at all.

          then one time we all thought it would be a good idea to try acid. we bought some trips (blotter paper with acid on them) and hung out at home. about 30 mins later i was laughing uncontrollably. the strange thing was, i was not conscious of my laughing, it was like i regained consciousness laughing, and then freaked out and lost consciousness again. it wasnt like losing consciousness when drunk where you lie there till you wake up. my body kept on operating, doing stuff like talking to people, making toast etc. it was like waking up laughing, in the kitchen, the bathroom, regaining consciousness mid-conversation with someone outside etc. i dont know who was in control of my body between these flashes of consciousness, my body was doing stuff without me having any conscious choice or memory of the events. regaining consciousness making toast is very very frightening! i believe i had multiple acute panic attacks where i thought i had gone insane and would never become normal again. the next day i had stopped laughing but i suffered from mild depersonalization and disassociation. i presumed it was the dregs of the acid (didnt recognize myself in the mirror, family members seemed like strangers in my house etc). it wore off over about 3 weeks. i never did acid again.

          about 6 months later we were at a party and i got very drunk. someone passed me a bong and even though i never smoked the drug (because it made me feel uneasy) this time i smoked some strong hydro bud. i instantly went into that same acid feeling of laughing and regaining and losing consciousness everywhere. the next day i had stopped laughing and the effects of the drug had largely worn off. the depersonalization / derealization was considerably worse than when i did acid six months earlier. it did not fade away like before either. six months later i still did not recognize myself in the mirror, family seemed unfamiliar. at this point i was still worrying about it. i reached the conclusion that i would be in this state permanently. i stopped worrying about it and accepted that i would never be the same again. i got over the worry of not being normal by accepting that i would never be normal again. over the next six months the depersonalization and denationalization faded. 12 months later it had gone altogether.

          16 years later after the weed. i am a normal functioning person with no real problems. i do have some long term memory loss. ie, not remembering going to disneyland when i was 10. lots of black spots from my youth.

          depersonalization / derealization is not brain damage. its a mode your brain can turn on when it thinks you cant handle the world around you. you get disconnected from immense trauma. people pay good money for prescription meds to be disconnected from the world in a similar way. why weed/acid turns it on i don't know.

          i like to think that the key to getting over the depersonalization/derealization was accepting that i would never repair and stopped worrying about it. i believe once i stopped worrying my brain started to deactivate the depersonalization state. once you get into the state, its a catch 22 where your brain wont turn off depersonalization because you are freaked out, but its the depersonalization that is freaking you out.

          for me, accepting that i cant turn it off is what made it go away. my advice is, if you are in that state, accept it may be permanent and get on with your life.

          secondly, i never went to a psychologist to talk about it, but if it were me today i would definitely go and see if they had any medication to turn off depersonalization / derealization.

          thirdly, never touch the drug or acid. peoples brains are wired with different dna and smoking weed/ taking acid is like playing russian roulette with your brain. you may get high, you may get permanently damaged. there are a lot of people on the internet saying "its not the marijuana doing it, the drug should be legal". imo the drug should not be legal. i know several people who have had schizophrenia turned on by weed. trust me, you don't want their lives.

          i found that when i had depersonalization / derealization guarana powdered root in a capsule really helped be feel more conscious. the guarana tablets that were not the powdered root and were the "equivalent of root" or "seed extract" did absolutely nothing, so make sure you get the caps with the pure powdered root.

          cheers, jeremy.

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