Got a call from my hook up today

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

Been smoking grass and drinking hard for 15 years. I'm 42 and finally decided to grow up. Well, I'd like to say I decided. If I didn't quit, my wife would have kicked me out. Also, my kids are old enough now that I don't want them around pot or alcohol. I quit drinking 8 months ago, but kept smoking the drug and hiding it from my family, feeling bad about myself all the time. I decided to detox the smoke 7 days ago. Other than missing the high, I haven't really had any withdrawal problems. Then today I get a text from my hook up that he just scored a bunch of kind bud and he wanted to know how much I wanted. I was at work and I must have looked at my phone for the whole morning. Finally I answered back "no thanks". It was harder than I expected. I just wasnt prepared for that. I didn't get anything done all day and I felt really jittery all day. But I said no and realized that self-discipline is hard, but you respect yourself more when you exercise it. I guess saying no to my dealer was just another part of the process. I got another message from him tonight. It said "are you sure?". I laughed when I thought about all the times I tried to contact over and over again to score weed. Funny, I guess.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

It can indeed be quite a test especially when your dealer calls you up and is trying to push it on you and that I guess is the reality of the situation, it’s all too easy to see our dealers like friends or something, I know it certainly felt like I was mates with some of the people I brought it from, but even if they were whether they were good mates is another matter and most the time it’s probably more of the case of really we are just people who buy drugs of them and it is in their interest to be friendly to us and make us feel like they are our pals, the reality of most these relationships is that we are simply the drug user and they are the pusher, let’s face it when you stop buying drugs of these people the relationship usually ceases to continue, perhaps I am digressing too much into this particular point but I think it is important to remember that most the time they are just trying to profit from selling us drugs, it’s easy to forget that when you feel like you are pals with them or whatever and whatever kind of a relationship you consider it to be it’s not one that is really doing you any favours. So what I am basically saying is that this guy really isn’t being any kind of friend and is not what you need right now, quitting is hard enough as it is without someone sending you messages trying to tempt you back into relapsing, if I were you I would probably delete his number and block his calls if you can, can you do that on a mobile? I don’t know I have never tried it. But anyway try and do whatever you can to stop this from happening if you really want to quit, even change your sim card if you have to. Like you say it is ironic how usually you are the one calling him feeling like he is doing you a favour and now he is calling you, maybe that shows who is really benefitting who.

It’s good to hear you are not feeling much of a withdrawal, it sounds like you are probably not that addicted in the neurological sense like some people here are, i.e. sweats, headaches, anxiety, depression, insomnia, ect, for you it sounds like more of a psychological thing, like you say you just miss the high, so it’s really important to put those other things that you enjoy doing in its place, it just takes time but I am sure you will adjust. Anyway it sounds like you are doing really well, hang in there and keep up the good work.

Thanks for posting, take care and please keep us posted.

All the best

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

Thanks for the support. You spend a lot of time helping many people on CannabisRehab.org and it's obvious you really care about people who are going through the process of quitting. The whole problem of dealing with friends who still use is a hard one. I thought my dealer was a buddy, but now I realize that I forced myself to be friends with him to make sure I could always get grass. I'm not proud of that because I usually don't like fake people. I do however have a really good friend, probably my best friend, who still smokes. We has lots of great times while high. We quit drinking together. Haven't decided whether to tell him I quit pot or not, and I haven't made contact with him since I gave it up. I want though cause I miss his company and could use his fellowship right now. I can talk to him about anything and he always makes me feel better.

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Hi again, no problem I hope it is of some help, yeah I know what you mean with the social circle thing, it is indeed a very difficult one, most my friends were stoners, even some of my dealers felt like buddies, although like I say whether they were really been a friend to me is another matter, but yes the lines between friendship and drug use can become a bit blurred and it’s hard to know how to feel at times.

I am not saying the friend that you mention isn’t a real friend I am sure he is, although even in these situations the fact that you both use the drug does probably at least have some part to play in the bond that you share, like with many of these friendships if you didn’t both use the drug you may not be so close, but even so it is indeed very hard to know what to do in these situations and it’s definitely one of the really difficult issues you can face in regards to quitting, I must admit it’s something I find quite hard to advise on, I would probably never make a pro cannabis rehab counsellor as from what I have heard they have to be pretty tough with people when it comes to this sort of thing as it’s something that will significantly affect your chances of succeeding, I must admit I probably wouldn’t have succeeded if I had not changed my entire social circle, but it is a choice we all have to make for ourselves, sometimes we may have to decide which we want more.

The one thing I would advise if you do decide to continue your relationship is that you are not around him while he is using the drug, if you do still want to see him then try to do something somewhere that won’t involve him smoking, that is something that I think needs to happen at the very least.

Anyway take care and please keep us posted.

[SilverMaze]

yeah what Rehab Admin is saying is true, it's healthier to stay away from users at least for some time. if he's a buddy he will perfectly understand. when i quit i still hung around smokers, and it made things harder, even when we were not smoking i found myself talking about smoking, spending more time thinking of it and made it harder. best help was to spend good time with people who don't smoke at all, enjoy life like they do. after some time, i found myself at ease with the smokers even when they're smoking around me, but that was in months after i had quit. nowadays i still avoid most them because most are addicts who are depressed and unhappy and don't really like the fact that i'm clean and they're not, so they keep bringing it up for me, telling me why i should smoke more again so they're not real buddies anyway. however some people who smoke it, are fine, they don't mind it at all that i don't smoke if they're smoking and even praise me sometimes. those are the real buddies.

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

I've been thinking about this a lot. Even though I'd like to hang out with my buddy, I've decided it's just not a good idea right now. I know he would be totally supportive if I told him I didn't want to smoke, but I would want to get high with him. That's my problem, not his. But I need to do what's best right now in order for me to leave this habit behind. I'm not happy with myself that my problem could affect our friendship in the short term, but it's time for me to start making smart decisions regarding my compulsions. It seems like self-knowledge is key to beating this thing. I'm not there yet, but at least I'm starting to realize what my triggers are. This business of getting sober really is a journey. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it sucks. But that's how life is in general. It's ok to feel crappy sometimes if you understand that those feelings are part of life. The human experience isn't supposed to be pleasant all the time, and if you embrace the discomfort without trying to dull it with narcotics or alcohol, I think (maybe more like hope) it can make you a stronger person. But what the he'll do I know?

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

Yeah I think it’s a good idea to avoid situations where others may be using at least for now, you don’t have to decide what you think you will or won’t be able to handle for the rest of your life just yet, but I think it’s best to avoid these situations at least for now, just take it one day at a time.

All the best

[diverdoug]

I know where you are coming from. when i wanted it was never there. Now the sales department at buds are us wont let up. I tell not to call and they do. Ive almost made it a full week. WE CAN DO THIS.

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

diverdoug:

Trust me, it gets a lot better, and sooner than you think. I haven't smoked in 16 days. Although that's not very long, I'm sure now that if I never want to smoke out again, then I won't. The first week or so, I really missed it. Now I don't, and I really don't even think about getting high anymore. Just keep telling yourself that you're in charge now. Not needing to budget your money for weed, score the grass, and make sure you always have it is really liberating. In addition (not to get to philosophical), getting in touch with your own consciousness without being high is intoxicating in it's own right. Stick with it and stay strong. You'll feel better and better about yourself, and your body and your mind will reward you as you go.