If you feel a post is inappropriate

Hi folks,

Just a quick note in regards to the moderation of the group. Sometimes if I am a bit short on time or if we get a lot of posts at once I may have to just skim the overall gist of the posts rather than reading them word for word before I approve them, also we all have a different perspective as to what is acceptable and thus there may sometimes be the odd post that gets through that you may feel is inappropriate. And while this doesn’t seem to happen very often if there is anything that anybody reads and feels is inappropriate then please feel free to either shoot me a PM or use the contact form to let me know and I will always be happy to take another look at it.

Please keep in mind however that a post does have to be quite bad or harmful to the group as a whole for us to delete it, I don’t like to be too heavy handed with that kind of moderation and try to reserve it for only when it is absolutely necessarily as generally I like people to be able to have their say and most things can be ironed out with dialogue and often we can all learn from it, that said if you feel something is inappropriate like I say please feel free to let me know and I will be happy to take another look.

All the best,

Cannabis Rehab Admin

If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 15 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!
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need help / guidance repairing myself after heavy long-term smoking.

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  • need help / guidance repairing myself after heavy long-term smoking.

    marijuana withdrawal symptoms relief
    Hello everyone. I am new to this forum & have read other posts / threads extensively, but I would really like some help and to see other peoples opinions, as from what I've learned, the "damages" of marijuana use vary on a case-by-case basis.
    anyways, I started smoking pot at around 15 years old. I am only 20 now. At 15 i smoked around once a week, at 16 i started smoking maybe 2-3 times a week, at 17-18 I smoked everyday 1-3 times a day, and at 19 I started smoking around 6-10 times a day for around 8 months (I started feeling like i was "losing" myself towards the end). I forgot what it was like to be sober. I destroyed all my relationships and opportunities just for highs. after that, i quit for 6 months and started smoking again. Within the 6 months, I started 2 businesses successfully, became self-employed, and started taking massive action towards my personal development and success. One thing i did realize is that even after i quit, i carried a series of thought processes, feelings(anxiety mainly), and habits from when i used to smoke. I had trouble staying productive, focusing, etc. I know i did an extreme amount of work in the 6 months (as i became depressed and learned that being busy is the best cure since you don't think about it when your truly "busy").

    once my businesses somewhat "took off" I also heavily (very, very heavily overworked myself). the entire time, I felt like I was at a disadvantage and never took breaks. I would drink 3-4 coffees a day, sleep a maximum of 6 hours, and work 16 hours a day MINIMUM. (mind you, both were internet businesses, so i was sitting down In my home office ALL DAY, i would even have 8 bottles of water and the set snacks and what i would eat in my office so i would not have to get up)I shit you not, I gave up everything i use to do in my leisure time. I stopped watching shows and playing games to read, study, watch webinars etc. I felt as i was doing something very good for myself and my education but the way i was doing was harmful to myself. I started biting every single fingernail uncontrollably until they bled, (continuously, every day) and couldn't stop even when it could. I would have looping thoughts and start to feel lost. Im a very structured person and started to plan my day, keep several lists, etc, and it all worked out until i started overworking myself, where i would just "task-hop", not finish anything, linger on everything, and get nothing done.

    This might sound extremely stupid but my mind was moving so fast i could not see the damages i was doing to myself, and when i got cues i thought nothing of them but just to work harder. Anyways, my businesses started to fall apart when i started to see this and i started getting waves of depression, similar to when i was smoking 6-10 times a day and thinking smoking more would help. The depression really didn't help my performance and i felt extremely demotivated, I stopped fulfilling orders and executing services to the point where people (2) filed lawsuits against me for not "delivering as promised".

    It was nothing big as i had cleared close to 6 figures within those 6 months. i don't like to speak numbers but I'm not thinking twice about it now because id like everyone to know that the amount of money i made & my successes was nowhere near close to impacting me as much as marijuana did. Sure, i got the things i wanted, helped my family, & was looked up to but as i tell everyone, whats in your mind (habits, thought process, emotions, etc)always outweighs whats on the table (material items, belongings, etc). anyways, when things started going "downward", i started smoking again. I didn't know what to do. before that, i tried everything, from meditation to exercise to being "busy" again which really meant doing anything to get my mind off things. I have smoked and still currently smoke since then, but not much at all. its not the same, i know it harmed me, but i do like it. i also still carry these habits of wellbeing (i read/write an hour a day, exercise, meditate, eat very healthy, do 1 thing that makes me uncomfortable, and a few other things on a daily basis).

    what really hurt though, is that, when i quit, i was kind of unaware of the "damages". When my businesses took off i started planning goals ahead, thinking about how i would help my mom retire and buy her a house, how i would retire by 45 with $XM, how i wanted to build stuff to change the world, foundations and charities to help everyone. I had some really good in me, i even told everyone of all my long-term goals because of how sure i was i was going to achieve them. by the way, No, i didn't start writing all these crazy goals just because of my business successes. prior to any successes or even starting the businesses, i made a conscious decision to get involved in business, as my dad is and i look up to him. Like i said, i gave everything up for education, learning, and anything that would help me reach my goals. I stopped seeing all my friends as they where all pot smokers. I tossed 10 glass pieces like nothing knowing that the cues are what kept me coming back. I told my "connect" and all others to **** off just so i would harm my relationship with them & they wouldn't sell to me. I didn't quit because i could, i quit because i forced myself to, and i was tired of how i felt. i realized i smoked because i felt empty, but smoking only really made me emptier.

    i remember one day going to my office, (i didn't do this on the daily anymore ) looking at my goal and vision board, realizing i might never be able to achieve what i always wanted, and just sitting in my tears for hours. i would look at everything i had bought for my office (3 of the newest macs, multiple monitors, phones, wholesale packs of sticky notes, a horseshoe desk, around 10 boards, and hundreds (and i mean hundreds) of books and just cry more. I didn't know how to feel and i still don't. I don't know what to do. note, after around when i started growing up, it took a lot to cry. I had lost a lot of friends, family, and things but nothing ever hit me hard enough to cry, not even a tear or watery eyes. but this, i felt like crying was an understatement. i felt like... i started to feel like what i lived for is what i couldn't do, and it made me want to kill myself.

    anyways, like i said, I'm still here, still focused on learning and developing myself, but not currently working on a business as i feel like i need to fix myself up. but i don't know how.

    I feel like I have very light/minor Psychosis and experienced a bit of depersonalization. I would really like to know how to overcome it and cure it, if i even can. i feel like over time i somewhat lost my identity and what made me, "me" & its what hurt me the most. I am somewhat happy as i am making progression, but i always look back on what i had built & felt like if i never went through what i did, i could've had x10 as much success. sure, i made a decent amount of cash, but no amount of money can buy sanity or peace of mind.

    I also feel as i cannot have peace of mind without weed, I'm not exactly why. as i said, I currently smoke every now and then,

    but this, this is my real dilemma, and i want you all to please hear me out and (attempt) to guide me.
    i feel like I'm stuck in a paradox. One where if i quit, I feel i will experience the same things, but if i keep smoking, i might harm myself long term.

    Is it bad that i am currently smoking maybe 2-3 times a week? I honestly feel better overall, but sometimes i feel as if i shouldn't. but the fear of experiencing what i did when i quit gets to me.
    I feel much more sane smoking in what i guess you can call a limited manner (currently), than when i quit, which is another little paradox considering the way i was when i quit was induced by long-term marijuana abuse. I kind of feel as if i am addicted, but even if i am, i know my self-discipline outweighs it, and i can delay it as much as i need if i really am busy. I do get cravings, but they are completely controllable. Its really just my fear of experiencing what i did.

    What do you guys think i should do?

    also, I would like to note that I travel a lot, this year (I've been smoking a bit as i stated, usually 2-3 times a week at home) I've taken around 10 flights, and i started realizing that i have absolutely no craving or desire to smoke when i am traveling (and it is all vacation, relaxing, etc. not business trips or anything). I even thought of it kind of deeply on my last trip, and started asking myself if i would smoke if bud magically popped up infront of me and i could, and i was very neutral about it. Why?

  • #2
    marijuana withdrawal symptoms relief
    Hi and welcome to the rehab group,

    Maybe you feel neutral because you don't really want it anymore? Maybe not deep down if you get what I mean. My advice would be to have a trial brake and if you don't like life without it then hey you can always go back, oh by the way the amino acid acetyl l-carnitine is good for healing the brain and l theanine great for anxiety. I hope things improve for you.

    All the best,
    Cannabis Rehab Admin

    If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

    My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 15 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!


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