No more, I've had enough! Time to quit.

[Thechancer]

Hi all,

The title says it all. I've had enough of Cannabis! It's took over my life AGAIN and I've finally realized that I've let it take control of my life AGAIN!

I've been visiting this site for the pat few days and reading peoples stories and what effect smoking too much cannabis does to you and I can relate to so many of you! I actually felt a little relieved and emotional.

So... I'll try and keep things short and not bore people too much with the details. I've been smoking for about 9 years now. I started of smoking socially when I was 18. For a few years it was the odd bag every week, with friends. I then moved abroad for 6 months and that's when I started to become more of a regular habit. When I returned back home, I found a job and moved out of my parents. That's when it started to become more of a daily and expensive habit. I made new friends, who also smoked a lot. My smoking just got worse and worse over those years. It got to the point where I was smoking a £20 (2gram) bag a night. I ran out of money, lost my job, got into debt and had to move back into my parents. As you can imagine I felt quite depressed. Things really hit me. I literally had done nothing with my life and I needed to change things. Which I did.

I managed to go just over 30 days with not smoking. It was a huge struggle. I suffered from vivid nightmares, hot sweats, mood swings etc... For some reason I caved in and started smoking socially again. As I lived at my parents they point blanked refused that I smoked in their house or garden. Which was understandable. So I would go round a friends 1/2 a week. And I enjoyed, I felt like I was in control of it all again, I got a new job, good money coming in, I passed my driving test, got a girlfriend and saved up and traveled Australia and Asia for 4 months with her. When we returned, we moved in together. Things were finally going my way and I am A LOT happier now than I was, I've made huge progress in my life. which I'm very proud of myself with.

However, since returning from travelling 6 months ago. Smoking cannabis has become much more of a habit now and although it's not as bad as it used to be. I am starting to feel like I've lost control and it's taking over my life again. I'm smoking 2/3 bags (4/6grams) a week. All I'm thinking of whilst at work or anywhere for that matter... is finishing work or going home and having a smoke, I get extremely anxious and irritated when I've ran out of weed or I get impatient whilst out with my partner or friends as all I want to do is go home and smoke. It's just constant and it starting to rub off on relationships. Everyday I feel like I'm in a haze, I'm making mistakes at work because my memory has become awful, I've lost most motivation on being productive or keeping fit and healthy. I just can't resist buying weed. The amount of "last bags" I've had is ridiculous. I feel like the cannabis has started a snowball in my life again and it's going to get bigger and bigger the more I keep smoking. So I need to stop before it's too late.

My partner hasn't said nothing yet. But I can start to see that it's starting to annoy her, she's noticing that I haven't been myself lately and she knows it's the cannabis. My family and colleagues at work are also noticing it.

I smoked what I had left yesterday, threw away most of my rolling stuff away and bought myself an e-cig in case I have any cravens. Simply to keep my hands busy.

So I'm here for the support but also to support anyone else who's in the same boat as me, as I know the struggle it can be.

Today is day 1. I will keep people posted on how things are going.

Thanks for reading.

[Alice]

hi the Chancer,

I can really relate to where you are coming from. It took me years to finally get off cannabis for good. When I read your story, it reminded me of the beginning of my story with weed (well, after it became a daily habit), in 2007. I was an absolute mess. I was completely out of control, and everyone around me was trying to encourage me to quit, but I held tight. Life got so bad. I got so depressed and yes, I moved back to my parents house too, which was a nightmare.

I managed to wean myself off it a bit, as life got a bit better. I got a new house by myself a couple of years later, and started working, which was great structure and helped me to start to carve out space without weed. I also started studying, and while both of those things were messy, because I was still smoking, it was a good start.

In 2013, someone sold me a bad batch, and it affected me really badly. I nearly killed myself in a psychosis and ended up in hospital, but this was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was an enforced quit, but it stuck. I came back to my home and started studying and generally getting my shit together. It was good, but because it wasn't my choice, about nine or ten months later in a warehouse party in Sydney, I was tempted again, and ended up smoking.

I thought that would be the end of it, but I think you have seen this in yourself too. It is neurochemistry really. Once those receptors light up, you inevitably and eventually, begin to chase again, until you are back at the same level of smoking.

It was extremely messy for me in 2014. I was an embarrassing, emotional mess, but from there, I managed to cut down again, and quit a few times for short periods. I got better at having whole days without it, and then in 2016, this year, after moving to Melbourne, I quit completely.

It was hard in the beginning, and you might find that the boredom can be challenging. I would recommend that you keep reading, everything you can find about cannabis addiction and people's experiences giving up. It gives you something to do, and will really reinforce your mindset. It would also be helpful for you to post, whenever you feel a crave, or when you feel weak. I found that posting gave me the distance from the situation to get some perspective, and by the time I was finished, the craving had past.

Eat well, and exercise can all help. But you are right at the very beginning, and I am just hoping that this quit can take hold for you. Even though it can be challenging in the beginning, it is so worth it when now that I am almost 9 months cannabis free by choice, I know that I will never go back. Life is a million times better. All that chaos that you talked about and the problems with relationships and social life gets much better without cannabis in your life, and that is the biggest reward for the temporary withdrawal symptoms. It is amazing! I kept being surprised about how much better I could perform at work and at uni.

I think an e-cig for the craves is a good idea, although be careful you don't get addicted to that. I am still addicted to nicotine spray 2 years after quitting cigarettes and it is going to be a b**** to quit that, but quit that I must.

Just try and keep busy, and write often to maintain your positive mindset. I know that you can do this! You sound as though you have a fair bit of self awareness, and this is a journey, you will keep getting stronger, so keep at it. :-)

Cheers,
Alice :-)

[One]

Your story is mine, it's scary. Make the effort now my man and rid yourself of this for good. The last bag is never the last bag. You chase dopamine which in itself is not bad but the method you are employing is. Your brain has changed due to your drug use and when you discontinue your use, you will feel bored, happy, angry, sad, depressed, unmotivated and so much more, just remember that all of this is all positive as it is your brain rebalancing and returning to normal. You will get to a point where you can feel happy again but you have to stick with it and come to terms that it's something you are going to leave behind for life, cause you're not going to want to do it again. Start working out and get rid of the THC out of your system and heal your body. Come to terms with that you can't smoke ever again. Keep posting. We're all here to support.