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**Alice** · 04-22-2019, 01:54 AM

Four days and counting!!

Hi there!
Congratulations on your quit. In my experience the benefits of quitting cannabis are very rewarding and can bring significant improvements to our cognition, emotional and social skills and physical health.

The symptoms that you describe sound very normal to me. Hopefully others will weigh in on whether they experienced your symptoms. For me, agitation was definitely a feature. It can be uncomfortable, but you can learn to manage it, and also it doesn't last forever.

I think that what you are planning to do by coming to this support forum to express your frustrations, feelings, hopes and also to get support was one of the biggest factors for me in a successful quit. There is something about belonging to a group that helps you to believe that it is possible to quit. And guess what? It definitely is.

In the first few days, life can be quite challenging. I found that both when I was quitting cigarettes and cannabis that some of the best ways to both pass time and stay in the positive mindset is to read and read and read other people's stories. I would encourage you to explore this site and to use it to build and strengthen your quit muscle.

Good luck. It is so worth it!!
Alice :-)

**JWC** · 04-22-2019, 02:08 AM

Wow! Quite a story, 25 year user.
Welcome to the site. I think a good move to start your own thread. I never did have my own thread but probably should have.

Not sure if you read through the years of posts here. There is a lot of helpful information. I found it incredibly helpful to read about other people having the same symptoms as I had. And it sounds to me like you've got a bunch of them. Really sorry to read that.

It also sounds like you have quite a bit of resolve to make a change to your life by quitting weed. Congratulations! It can really be a struggle but it is worth it. These symptoms will eventually get better. Get some phsyllium husk for your constipation. That was the easiset symptom to treat for me. Otherwise there is a fair amount of taking it one day at a time and getting through it. Try to be good to yourself and do things that make you feel good.

And use resources available to you such as this site and your friends for support. I found Marijuana Anonymous (MA) very helpful. There happens to be a meeting in my town. I went for about 3 months and it was a huge help. They have an excellent website too.

I got high for about 20 years, just about every day. I quit on January 1, 2018. Not gonna lie, it wasn't easy. I was lucky in that I had no desire to use anymore. But I had several of the symptoms you list above. Sleep was the worst for me. In fact, I still have some sleep trouble, but no where near what it was last year. Try to just accept it for what it is, knowing that it will not be forever. And one day at a time. What you are doing is a big deal and not easy. But it will be sooo worth it.

Looking forward to reading how you are doing!
Your "vacation" sounds like it was terrific!
John (your friendly American :-)

**25 year user** · 04-22-2019, 11:20 AM

5 days and counting

Thanks guys,
Its hard work as you know, but physically I feel a lot better today, I have increased my 5 HTP dosage to 3 x 100mg per day, this seems to have stopped the headache a little and makes me feel less nervy/irritable, I somehow managed 6 hours sleep last night possibly due to my lack of ZZZzzs this week, but of course I had some weird/vivid dreams so i'm sure I woke up a few times and it wasn't the best type of sleep, I have picked up some work in a Carpark over looking a beautiful beach here in the SW of U.K. and the surf has been pumping, I can't surf yet due to my ulcerated wound still not healing, but the view is amazing, and being amongst nature and working with the general public is great therapy. I even felt alot more relaxed around the boss (who also owns the Hydroponic/grow shop I was managing). I have Thought about consuming weed after work quite a few times, and even smoking a cigarette, but ive been smashing the Vape and I've come this far and don't want to fail, I'm fairly strong willed when I need to be, so am rewarding myself with a short siesta in a moment to try to recover some lost sleep hours, weirdly day time sleeping seems a lot easier, and i'm not punishing myself for vaping more than normal, its only at 6% nicotine anyway down from 9% so really its no big deal.
I never want to underestimate this addiction as i know the mind works in mysterious ways, and many people justify using again before the withdrawl period is done, but so far, so good, one hour/day/week at a time. I'm looking forward to reaching one week clean (do I sound like a true Junkie) this would be the longest I have ever been with out consuming.(in fact 5 days already is the longest period in over 10 years but 1 week sounds better and is a milestone achievement) In respect of Marijuana Anonymous I have seen their website and have viewed it and all the you tube videos on the subject, but they don't have any meetings outside of London, the only face to face support close to here is A.A. or class A drug rehabs. I don't really want to attend these as although I don't take cannabis addiction lightly, I don't believe it to be as all consuming as Alcohol or hard drugs withdrawl/addiction. So day 5 is going great and I'm looking forward to my appointment at the Surgery tomorrow and am hoping to be given some good news on when i can return to the Pool/Surfing, I may even resume Yoga classes tomorrow as the damaged ligaments i had sustained at the same time as my ankle wound feel much better, if only this damn wound would heal i could exercise properly......... until tomorrow

**Alice** · 04-23-2019, 06:52 AM

Hey 25 year user,
It is great to hear you are finding things that are helping. I have heard of 5 HTP, but never done any research or tried it myself. Although I hope you are being careful when taking this supplement for side effects and interactions it is good to hear that it is working for you.

I am guessing that the 'thoughts' of an after work smoke will persist for a little while, but it is like cigarettes in the fact that every time you overcome the thought or indeed the urge, it gets a little bit easier next time, until eventually, those kinds of thoughts don't bother you at all.

Hope you got some good news with regard to your ulcer and your return to the water. It is kind of funny to hear you talking about surfing in the UK. I am living in Australia and I never picked the UK as somewhere where you would bust out your surfboard, hehe.

Hope your week continues well :-)
Alice

**25 year EX user** · 04-23-2019, 10:12 AM

Originally posted by Alice View Post

It is kind of funny to hear you talking about surfing in the UK. I am living in Australia and I never picked the UK as somewhere where you would bust out your surfboard, hehe.

Hope your week continues well :-)
Alice

Thanks Alice,
I have lived on the Gold coast for a year with my Aussie Ex, and have surf travelled loads, Caribbean, Africa, Most of Europe, Indian Ocean, And I always hear the same Question "Can you actually surf in the U.K.?" Its one of the few places left in this world where you can surf alone if you search a little and don't mind wetsuits, aside from a few heavy Reefs, they're not quite the pitching death barrels you get in Indo or Hawaii, but we get great waves here in the South West (Atlantic) all year round, and the East coast (North sea) is Pumping in the Winter, Scotland regularly gets world class, The saying goes that there is a rideable wave in Cornwall 365 days a year as we have 3 coasts, water temps range from 6'c Brrrr up to 18'c, but do me a favor, don't tell anyone!

5-HTP is basically a more natural alternative to Prescription Anti depressants, They create more Serotonin, instead of recycling your existing Serotonin like most chemical Pills do, I have researched them extensively and they work for most people, there are also not many interactions to worry about, the main one is not to take with prescription Anti depressants like SSRI's. They come highly recommended from many trusted sources.
Day 6 is half way through, and although i have slept i'm still, tired so am rewarding myself with a siesta after work, as I felt great after yesterdays. One day at a time......
Ex 25 yr user

**JWC** · 04-23-2019, 12:27 PM

Glad to hear you are doing ok!

Funny about your junkie comment. I felt/feel the same. The MA meetings follow the same format as AA meetings. When you start your 5 minutes of talking, which is optional, you start by saying, "My name is.....and I'm a marijuana addict." It seemed veeerrrry strange to hear myself say that. I had never really felt like an addict. In fact, a year before I quit I went 3 weeks without getting high and I was totally fine. A year later, a much different story. I did not have the drama that I typically associate with addicts. My life was not spiraling out of control. Many of the testimonials at MA were quite dramatic---a nurse of 25 years lost her job and her nursing license, a guy who worked at a hotel was stealing credit card numbers to withdraw money, etc. Geez. My story was quite boring by comparison. I just really liked being high. But I was there because I needed to be. They gave little wooden tokens for each month clean and I happily took mine. Their support and reassurance that I would get past all these terrible symptoms was excellent and exactly what I needed. I think the concept of addiction has nuances and people experience it in different ways.

Anyhoo, sorry for the ramble. It really does sound like you are on a good track. You are employed and looking forward to getting back in the waves and you seem to be a well adjusted person.

I echo what Alice says about surfing. I live on the California coast and never really associated the UK with surfing. :-)

Keep up the good work!
Cheers
John

**25 year user** · 04-26-2019, 04:18 PM

Day 9 here Replied to Mitchell's thread so not putting much here, I did write another post but maybe it hasn't been moderated yet, Will join now to get my 10 posts in! I still feel a bit weird Physically, but mentally I seem to have a good outlook on this addiction thing! My first yoga class in 6 weeks really helped, which was followed by a 1 hour yoga Nidra special, I crawled in and Floated out!!! Nurse has asked me to keep from getting wet till my next appointment on Monday, as I still have a small, but still open wound, I agreed as she was pretty hot (looks like the libido has returned). Going to venture out for a couple of drinks tomorrow night. will update afterwards......one day at a time......
25 year user

**Alice** · 04-28-2019, 06:16 AM

How did the drinks go?
Alcohol can have a way of dissolving the strongest of resolutions. Hope to hear you are still clean this Sunday :-)
Was it fun, in any case?

**25 year ex user** · 04-28-2019, 07:37 AM

Hey Alice,
It was good to see a lot of friendly faces in the same place, I drove, as the venue was out in the countryside, so I only had 1 pint of beer, that I kept topping up with lemonade throughout the night, we call it 'Nursing" a pint! I do love a good Shandy though.
Weed is 'almost' legal down here and very tolerated, with my newly improved sense of smell due to the 10 months no tobacco and now 11 days no weed, I could smell the sweetest skunk everywhere, I still love that smell and doubt that will ever change, but It was relatively easy to not want to smoke, and I didn't use of course

I even gave away my last bit of bubble hash to the Birthday boy, he was stoked. That stuff used to blow my mind.
I even refused the 'Colombian marching powder' as 'one thing leads to another', and of course... I was driving.
I do struggle with social situations though, even sober, and my best mate is a social expert and Women's favorite, I'm not really a pick up a chick in the club kind of guy, I'm fairly good looking and fit for a 41 yr old, but I'm a bit deeper than that, and I still need to work on my confidence, I'm sure this will improve though, but the people and loud music make me slightly anxious, especially when I was high, but I have even found the social side a little easier although still prominent. I did however feel like a bit of a bore, not being high or drunk, I reckon that's down to me to change my outlook though, as I used to smoke at parties instead of drinking as I hate the hangover, and drunks irritate me.
BUT I do have some good friends and acquaintances who are very similar to me and some had been through the same experiences with various substances, so I told a select few people what I'm going through/attempting, and got some excellent responses and a lot of back patting, a 25 year habit is not to be taken lightly, a few people even said I look different, brighter eyes, more awake and sociable etc, although some of this is probably due to my Sri Lankan tan and wearing a white T-shirt! HA!
People were blazing and some sniffing notes all around me and I honestly think I have a good handle on this now and was only tempted for a second, before my resolve kicked in. Letting myself down and the self loathing that would follow for caving in is enough to stop me from smoking again, I'm starting to realize that I may never smoke Ganja ever again, and its not as bad a thought as it was 10 days ago if I'm honest.
Physically I feel a bit better, the headaches have started to diminish, although my armpits are still dripping, luckily they don't smell, and mentally I'm starting to feel almost great.
But I Still have a few issues, maybe some other forum members may have had the same
My dreams are still going wild, 2 nights ago I had the most surreal, vivid and horrifying dream to date, I can still remember every single detail over 48 hours later. I woke up at 4.44am and was terrified to go back to sleep, although I'm glad I did as after a few hours awake, I slept again and in my next dream I met the most beautiful girl and got a Snog (or Pash as you Aussie chicks would say). Weirdly there were people who appeared in both dreams!
And I also feel a little dumber than when I was consuming, my brain seems a bit slower to react to questions and problems, has anyone else experienced this??? Hopefully its just my brains way of re arranging its pathways as it must be in shock after 25 years of THC bombardment.
Thanks for your concern Alice I hope your doing well, Ive been watching the Bells beach surf comp and have to say it looked cold Brrrrrrrr. I do miss Australia your very lucky to live in such an awesome place. (Cornwall is pretty RAD too though, so I guess I'm Just as lucky)
I have an account now, so trying to get to my 10 posts ASAP so I don't need to be Moderated.
Cheers and Gone
Steve
25 year EX user

**Mitchell** · 04-28-2019, 05:50 PM

I had super vivid dreams that would be stuck with me for days as well. So rich in detail that I could recall every single thing start to finish in it. I had one where I was on an airplane that crashed. These dreams were creepy and just absolutely horrid, I would have nightmares that would wake me up in sweat and I could not simply just go back to sleep. I was in a cycle where I would get anxiety about having another nightmare the next night while thinking about the previous one. I had this problem where I could not stop thinking and relplaying my dreams over and over again in my head. My dreams are so much better now. In the last 7 days I have maybe had one bad dream, and I forgot what it was because as time goes on you just forget. When your brain wants to make you think about them just acknowledge the fact that you are thinking about it than dismiss it. Think of the thoughts as clouds passing by, or leaves in a stream floating by. Sometimes there are more than one of the same type of leaf. They all will pass eventually. For me, I was stuck in weeks of suffering, although I have made it to a point where I am no longer "suffering" I'm just improving. It is a little bit slow since I am now like 76 or 77 days in I can't remember but my addiction was very very bad. My use spiraled out of control because I was using it to cope. Now I have a much greater perspective on it and as you get further into your days without weed you start to understand yourself more. There isn't much you can do other than take care of yourself and remind yourself that these days will pass. But these dreams will improve and so will insomnia.
I wish you the best
Mitchell

**JWC** · 04-30-2019, 01:34 PM

Hi Steve,

Seems like you are doing well for now. Going to such a party and getting through it is terrific. Perhaps going forward you can focus on the friends who are patting you on the back for what you are doing.

I remember reading, on here I'm pretty sure, that if you quit for a while, then use again, and then try to quit a second time, the withdrawal symptoms are much more difficult, especially as you get older. NO THANK YOU! My withdrawal experience was bad enough and there is no way in hell I want to go through anything worse! So look for these posts and they will surely add to your resolve.

Anyway, all your symptoms sound typical. It's a journey...one day at a time.
People have said that I am looking good these days as well. And no Sri Lankan tan for me, although I'm sure that helps. But seriously, you will continue to feel better and therefore look better.

Hope that foot gets better!
All the best
John

**25 year ex user** · 04-30-2019, 05:55 PM

DAY 13, SO That makes tomorrow 2 WEEKS since I last smoked the Devils lettuce (my new tongue in check name for it) ! I am actually fairly stoked about it, 2 weeks ago I wouldn't have dreamed it was actually possible. I'm not saying the last 2 weeks has been easy, but my mental resolve is growing with everyday clean, the headaches are getting less distracting, and maybe even the sweating is diminishing a touch. But the sleep, or lack of it is still a problem and the Dreams continue, so much so a siesta is now part of my daily routine, my brain still feel foggy and dumber than when i was consuming. BUT I'm back in the pool with the help of an ankle brace and use of a pull buoy, and I smashed out a quick KM yesterday and it felt great, weirdly my technique is always better after a break from swimming, I paid up for my monthly pool membership. I also have been to 2 weeks of core flow yoga classes and although it was a sweaty struggle to keep up (its not the type of yoga your thinking of, this is hardcore!) this too is helping immensely, my wound has closed so just a small scab left to heal, so I am expecting Nursey to let me surf after my appointment on Friday morning, typically the surf drops to mush on Friday!!!!!
One day at a time....

John, Thanks for the support, A lot of my friends and acquaintances smoke, I will never be able to escape that, so now I know I can resist temptation, (I wasn't even that Tempted) hanging out with these guys won't be much of a problem, aside from passive smoking that is....My vape (nicotine only) provides me with my substitute, I know its still not healthy (although better than smoking roll ups) and maybe in the future I will give this up too, but for now its my pacifier. One thing I have noticed is the Denial of my friends, the conversation goes something like this, "do you think your addicted to cannabis?", "no way I could stop anytime","why not have a week or two off then?", " Urrmmm no I don't need to, It's fine, I'm not addicted, I just like it, I'm not addicted though" as we all know there is nothing worse than an ex-smoker so I'm not about to start preaching at anyone.....But its funny the level of denial never presented its self to me until I had quit for a week or so.
Maybe I'm going to have to find a new outlook on cannabis, being an ex grow shop manager, 25 year user and believing in its potential as 'medicine'. I'm not sure where I stand on it all now. With the world legalizing medicinal and recreational cannabis. Alcohol being legal pretty much worldwide, and far more dangerous as regards health and Withdrawl. Maybe it doesn't matter what I think, to me its more of a personal problem I'm fairly sure if Ganja wasn't available to me at my young age I probably would have found another substance to abuse, as many of my old school friends did. I'm thankful I never sought solace in anything harder!!!!

Alice, Even though Im only new to here, the first few days are the hardest and your posts helped me through (John too), so Thanks. I read your post on Mitchels thread I hope your doing ok and feeling better

**25 year ex user** · 05-04-2019, 07:05 PM

Day 18 here,
Somedays are better than others and temptation is only a mindset away, I have been reading Anthony Kiedis the Red Hot Chilli Peppers singer's auto biography and although he was in to harder drugs it has struck a cord (ha) with me. Also an interview with Brendan Novak on you tube also has quite familiar similarities. Addiction should be treated like an illness, First physically. then mentally to stay away from our substance of choice, there are extremities to different substances and although Cannabis doesn't have the ability to destroy lives to the extent of Heroin/opiates/cocaine/alcohol etc, it shouldn't be taken lightly. I feel that consuming now would set me back mentally to day one, or beyond, and I'm way to stubborn to let this happen. Having this thread has helped no end, and every time I'm tempted or think about getting high I come back and read it or the replies or someone else thread and realize why I started this journey, its been both the easiest and hardest thing I have ever done and each day throws up new challenges, mentally and physically, I'm proud internally of how far I have come and don't feel the need for any recognition from anyone else. Its a personal journey, that might never end! Some of my friends can't understand why or how I'm doing this, but they haven't lived inside my head as i have for the 25 years I've been stoned. I'm taken back to that feeling of when I couldn't get or buy Ganja, the stress, the angst, the need, I never want to feel this again, and It looks like i will go through all this again when I quit the Nicotine (vape). But hopefully the tools I have gained from kicking my weed addiction will help..As I have said before
One day at a time......

**JWC** · 05-06-2019, 12:22 PM

Dear Steve,

GREAT entry! I really like your writing syle.

"Temptation is only a mindset away" Brilliant.

It really sounds like you are on a solid pathway. The farther along the path you are, the more distant all the crap at the beginning of the path becomes. Aside from the occasional daydream about dopamine rushes from weed, I am so much happier with my life now than before. I look back, especially at the last few years of getting high, and see how terrible I felt all the time. I wouldn't want to go back to that for anything.

You gotta do what's right for you, no matter if your friends understand or not. I have a long time friend who gets high daily. We live far apart from each other now, but communicate somewhat regularly. Last year when I told her what was happening to me and that I had quit cannabis, she said, "Well, for a while, right? It's good to take a break every now and then." She understands now that it is permanent and she has said that she admires me for it. So surround yourself with people who will support you. As you are doing yoga and meditation, you should be able to detach your mind from unwanted situations.

Really, anything is only a mindset away :-)

Hang in there my friend!
Cheers
John

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