So I was a daily heavy smoker for over 10 yrs. I didn't realize how much it was affecting my life until recently. On 4/20 of this year I smoked what they call a "caviar" joint that is a lot stronger than a traditional one. All was fine but then I realized my heart was beating abnormally fast and completely out of rhythm. I feared the worst and informed my room mates that I believed I was having a heart attack because I truly did. Little did I know I was actually experiencing a panic attack. I believed it was a heart attack so much that I took a very expensive ambulance ride to the hospital.
All was fine. They did an EKG and took chest xrays and said nothing was out of the ordinary. I was so relieved that my heart was ok. But my mental health was far from that and I slowly started to realize it. So the next few days I decided not to smoke at all in fear of it happening again. I was fine, and then the cravings came and at this point I wasn't entirely sure if I was going to completely quit or not. So I decided to have a puff. One puff off of a small pipe. I felt it immediately and thought well we will see what happens. I laid down and tried to relax, but that's when it all went bad. I had another panic attack, this one being a little different than the first.
I learned breathing techniques from one of the nurses at the hospital to slow your heart rate, so I was doing that as much as possible but I wasn't really feeling my heart. My arms and hands seized up to the point that my hands and fingers were bent into a shape I can not mimic normally and I could not move them. I picked up my arms and they stayed in that position which freaked me out more. I was new to the whole panic attack thing. I just laid there and breathed in my nose and out of my mouth slowly and it went away about 30 minutes later. I was absolutely terrified.
After that, I knew for a fact that i could no longer smoke weed. I gave all of my paraphernalia to my room mate along with the flower and concentrates I had left over. It's been one month since I quit, and I feel a little better than the first two weeks. I'm still having very vivid dreams, but my appetite returned almost fully and I'm able to sleep decently at night again. I know, it sounds like everything is going swell, which it kind of is, but not at the same time. I feel a sense of dullness to life which I know is a normal thing after quitting. I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.
I'm constantly thinking to myself that if I smoke, things can go back to normal. But that's not the normal I want to go back to. I realized after quitting that it was holding me back from my true potential as a person. I would smoke and just lay or sit down and play video games or watch movies. When I'd get off work it was the first thing I would do and just melt into my bed. I don't want to wake up one day and ask where the time went. When I was smoking every day, all days seemed to not matter and I had no drive at all. Now one month sober, each day is a battle in it's own.
I suffer from anxiety which I started taking meds for and they really help me. I just would like some advice on how I can cope with not smoking. It's been a month, and I want to stay sober for myself, and all the things that are possible with it. I keep finding myself going back to considering smoking again and I hate it. I know if I do it's back to square one and back to no motivation/hazy mind and all the bad things that go with it. I don't want that. I live in Colorado which doesn't help because everyone and their mom smokes weed here. I don't really mind being around it and it doesn't trigger me. But I'd still rather not. I just want to find things to do to keep me busy every day, so that I'm not constantly thinking about this. Sorry for the novel I wrote just now. If you have any advice or tips for me I would greatly appreciate it.
Many thanks,
Sora
All was fine. They did an EKG and took chest xrays and said nothing was out of the ordinary. I was so relieved that my heart was ok. But my mental health was far from that and I slowly started to realize it. So the next few days I decided not to smoke at all in fear of it happening again. I was fine, and then the cravings came and at this point I wasn't entirely sure if I was going to completely quit or not. So I decided to have a puff. One puff off of a small pipe. I felt it immediately and thought well we will see what happens. I laid down and tried to relax, but that's when it all went bad. I had another panic attack, this one being a little different than the first.
I learned breathing techniques from one of the nurses at the hospital to slow your heart rate, so I was doing that as much as possible but I wasn't really feeling my heart. My arms and hands seized up to the point that my hands and fingers were bent into a shape I can not mimic normally and I could not move them. I picked up my arms and they stayed in that position which freaked me out more. I was new to the whole panic attack thing. I just laid there and breathed in my nose and out of my mouth slowly and it went away about 30 minutes later. I was absolutely terrified.
After that, I knew for a fact that i could no longer smoke weed. I gave all of my paraphernalia to my room mate along with the flower and concentrates I had left over. It's been one month since I quit, and I feel a little better than the first two weeks. I'm still having very vivid dreams, but my appetite returned almost fully and I'm able to sleep decently at night again. I know, it sounds like everything is going swell, which it kind of is, but not at the same time. I feel a sense of dullness to life which I know is a normal thing after quitting. I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.
I'm constantly thinking to myself that if I smoke, things can go back to normal. But that's not the normal I want to go back to. I realized after quitting that it was holding me back from my true potential as a person. I would smoke and just lay or sit down and play video games or watch movies. When I'd get off work it was the first thing I would do and just melt into my bed. I don't want to wake up one day and ask where the time went. When I was smoking every day, all days seemed to not matter and I had no drive at all. Now one month sober, each day is a battle in it's own.
I suffer from anxiety which I started taking meds for and they really help me. I just would like some advice on how I can cope with not smoking. It's been a month, and I want to stay sober for myself, and all the things that are possible with it. I keep finding myself going back to considering smoking again and I hate it. I know if I do it's back to square one and back to no motivation/hazy mind and all the bad things that go with it. I don't want that. I live in Colorado which doesn't help because everyone and their mom smokes weed here. I don't really mind being around it and it doesn't trigger me. But I'd still rather not. I just want to find things to do to keep me busy every day, so that I'm not constantly thinking about this. Sorry for the novel I wrote just now. If you have any advice or tips for me I would greatly appreciate it.
Many thanks,
Sora
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