Hey everyone,
I'm a 24 year old female, and I've been smoking 8-10 big bong rips a day since I was 19, with light use since I was 15. I quit cold turkey for the first time in January for about 3 months, and relapsed shortly after the quarantine started. I quit again 3 days ago, and my withdrawal symptoms sent me running to Dr. Google for help and I found this board. But my lack of appetite, insomnia, and horrible gastroenteritis are nothing compared to the complete lack of emotion I feel. When I was younger my emotions were so.... bold. They were consuming and bright and made me feel alive but now I'm just numb. The first time I was sober I made a bunch of new friends, graduated college and moved in with my boyfriend but none of that made me feel anything. My parents even surprised me with a car as a graduation gift today and I had to pretend to be excited, and I knew that I should be so happy but I just wasn't. I can't even remember the last time I genuinely laughed or felt happy. Its devastating every time I have to fake it. I don't think I'm depressed, since I don't have any negative feelings about myself and while I still have some negative emotions they don't overwhelm me. I just wanted to know if anyone else has gone through this, how long it lasted for them, and anything that helped them get through it. I'm not suicidal but sometimes I just feel like life is a chore and I want to get back to feeling alive.
Sorry for the emo post.
I'm a 24 year old female, and I've been smoking 8-10 big bong rips a day since I was 19, with light use since I was 15. I quit cold turkey for the first time in January for about 3 months, and relapsed shortly after the quarantine started. I quit again 3 days ago, and my withdrawal symptoms sent me running to Dr. Google for help and I found this board. But my lack of appetite, insomnia, and horrible gastroenteritis are nothing compared to the complete lack of emotion I feel. When I was younger my emotions were so.... bold. They were consuming and bright and made me feel alive but now I'm just numb. The first time I was sober I made a bunch of new friends, graduated college and moved in with my boyfriend but none of that made me feel anything. My parents even surprised me with a car as a graduation gift today and I had to pretend to be excited, and I knew that I should be so happy but I just wasn't. I can't even remember the last time I genuinely laughed or felt happy. Its devastating every time I have to fake it. I don't think I'm depressed, since I don't have any negative feelings about myself and while I still have some negative emotions they don't overwhelm me. I just wanted to know if anyone else has gone through this, how long it lasted for them, and anything that helped them get through it. I'm not suicidal but sometimes I just feel like life is a chore and I want to get back to feeling alive.
Sorry for the emo post.
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