Part 1
Hi everyone,
Little about me
Really not quite sure where to start to be honest! I'm 34 years old and have smoked marijuana daily since I started at 18. In terms of the amount I get through, I'd say it's pretty much been an average over all those years of an ounce a month or so. I'm not sure if I'm quite a rare case or not, but honestly I feel like I'm one of the people lucky enough to have never in all my time smoking suffered from any paranoia, anxiety, hallucinations or any other "negative" factors. I say "negative" in quotation marks because obviously there are many negatives to smoking weed in my opinion, I've just not had any physical negatives to date.
I'm one of those people that when anyone finds out I smoke weed, they're usually pretty shocked. Have always had a job since my first paper round at 12 years old and haven't been unemployed a day in my life. Have had a few careers - banking, technology etc. and have always been a really high performer, in my working life and personal life. I've got a great group of friends, can talk to anyone and have always been a very upbeat, positive and social person. I guess some might think "why would you want to quit smoking weed then, if it's all been OK?". Well, there are quite a few reasons which I'll go into below. But before I do, I definitely want to show my appreciation for this forum.
Thanks to this forum
Over the last 10 years or so, I've stopped smoking a a few times, usually for a period ranging at the shortest for 3 months and at the longest for 6 months......but I've always managed to pull myself back in. That said, this forum has ALWAYS been my go to place when looking for a morale boost, to relate to others and to feel understood myself, and to read all of the great success stories that have been posted by people who've managed to successfully quit on here. It's been reading those posts and how upbeat and positive they get me feeling, that I thought I'd try doing it myself actually now that I've decided to quit for good. I also think that writing things down helps to almost make them more official in our minds, and can help us hold ourselves more accountable, especially when you know that others are following you on your journey too!
So why am I quitting now?
It's a combination of reasons really, and honestly is far overdue. Regardless of how many times I've told myself that smoking weed has been great because of all of the laughs and good times I had with friends, that only really applies to my younger years, say 18-24, since then it's mainly been habitual, mostly to help my incredibly overactive mind go to sleep and switch off each night. When i think about it, the biggest regret in my life is without a doubt that I even started in the first place!
You know how it goes, it very much ends up becoming a 'crutch' for us during stressful times, hard times, happy times - you name it! I'll bet I'm not alone when I say that as a smoker you'll always be able to conjure up a purpose, reason or occasion for getting high....we rationalise that it's required, or needed, or will enhance things for us, which to a small extent can be true (e.g. the effects on our bodies when our brains release dopamine, seratonin, endorphines etc) but the truth for me is simply - No, no I don't 'need' it, and I don't like the control that it's had over me.
The main reasons I'm quitting are:
1) I do not want to feel content at times in life when I shouldn't feel content. You know how it goes - got some jobs to do around the house? Feeling nervous or worried about an interview or opportunity? Feeling sad over the loss of someone or something? Get high and you'll feel fine, certainly more fine than you were. But thing is, I don't want to anymore, and I don't think it's healthy to live like that. We experience emotions and anxiety and worry naturally, and often for good reason. It's an evolutionary response that's designed to ensure we get things done that we know need doing, and we should feel a little uncomfortable until they are done! Well, I don't want to be able to be going through pretty much anything in life and tell myself that it's OK because I can always have a smoke. I want my mindframe to be "I can go through anything in life and it's OK because my wife, my friends and my family are there for me". I want the fact that I'm doing the right things in life to create natural feelings of contentment and to trigger my brain release those feel good chemicals, and not from a drug!
2) The way it can take a social butterfly, and turn them pretty antisocial. I always used to have such wide friendship circles and so many different type of people for friends. But again, you know how it goes, after a while you start passing up the opportunity to do activities and things or go to see friends or family, because you'd rather get high and play games or chill. You make excuses to get out of things when really it's just because you want to get high and experience how that feels. Well you know how this ends up? Eventually some of your friends simply stop inviting or asking you to join them, and as the years go by your friendship circle can get smaller and smaller. This is something I want to change too. I want to get back to how active and happy-go-lucky I used to be!
3) The cost - I've never been short of money and have always earned good salaries, but damn. I sat down the other day to work out how much I'll have spent over 15 years and I felt extremely angry with myself. I was nearly livid - how many holidays could I have treated the wife to? Nice things for the house, nice car, going more places and seeing more of the world.....all forsaken because what, I want to get high and game or chill? That's no way to experience life and I've had enough of it!
4) The health impacts. Yeeeeees yes I know. I COULD use a vape instead so it's not as bad for me. Tried that. Had a volcano vaporizer for a while that I barely used - it just didn't feel like the same, enjoyable experience as smoking a spliff did, and so I couldn't get into it. Yeeeeeeees yes, I've baked edibles using it too, lost count of how many brownies I've made over the years and actually they are pretty great, BUT, they are too hard to time unlike a pre-bedtime smoke, and don't give you the instant gratification smoking a joint (with tobacco) does. Anyway bottom line - I do not want my lungs or my body to suffer any more, whether this is lack of motivation to go to the gym because I'd rather get high, or the fact that essentially I'm deciding that "I'm ok with dying earlier than I should do and giving myself cancer which will deprive my loved ones of my presence earlier than should be the case"....and no, I'm not OK with that at all. I'm not in bad shape or anything, I'm 6,2" and have always been really sporty and fit, but hey im not getting any younger so I don't want to make maintaining that much harder than it should be!
5) Time to try for children. This is as it says, my wife and I are trying for children. We actually spent 14 months trying with no luck initially, until she managed to get pregnant earlier this year. Unfortunately we went through the horrible experience of a miscarriage at 12 weeks, which was really unexpected. Anyway, I don't care to make excuses anymore like "aaaah science hasn't yet REALLY proven weed is bad for sperm, there are articles to suggest it's good and bad etc etc" - my stance now has become "it's bloody common sense that shoving a drug into your body (especially with tobacco) IS obviously going to have detrimental effects, and even if it didn't, it's not worth the risk. I want to have a healthy child or two with my wife more than I want to get high.
6) Groggy feeling in the morning. I don't want to wake up feeling a little heavy-headed and groggy in the mornings after smoking/eating weed the night before. I want to wake up humming and singing like I used to, ready to take on whatever the damn day has to throw at me, and I don't mind if it's an early start. I want to be "up and at 'em" instead of clinging on to however extra minutes of a lie-in I can have from staying up getting high until 1,2,3am the night before.
7) I want control of my life back. Yeeeeeeh I know, I've been in control of my life this whole time. What I mean is, I want to be permanently free from the thinking voice in my head going "Now how might this inconvenience my ability to get high" as one of the first things I think when faced with something in life. Overnight hotel stay with work? Naaaah. Going away for a few days with the wife? Not unless I can smoke! BBQ or gathering around a friend or family members house? Naaah I'd rather get high. For those of you that have seen the Jim Carey film 'Yes Man' - smoking weed has turned me into a 'No Man'. Well, I want to becom a 'Yes Man' again. Someone that can seize opportunities by the cahones and take my wife on trips away, see the world, travel, whatever - ANYTHING but doing little and getting high in my spare time. Why should my wife get to miss out on opportunities because I'm a selfish b*****d that wants to smoke instead? When I have kids, why should they? Answer is - they shouldn't and I shouldn't. So be gone with you marijuana you foul demon, it's time to exorcise you from my life!
8) There are a load of other reasons too really, I could go on but I won't. Maybe if people reply to this thread we'll end up talking more about things but yeh, I'll be here for hours otherwise and I'm already aware of the 'dissertation-like' length of this post already!
Hi everyone,
Little about me
Really not quite sure where to start to be honest! I'm 34 years old and have smoked marijuana daily since I started at 18. In terms of the amount I get through, I'd say it's pretty much been an average over all those years of an ounce a month or so. I'm not sure if I'm quite a rare case or not, but honestly I feel like I'm one of the people lucky enough to have never in all my time smoking suffered from any paranoia, anxiety, hallucinations or any other "negative" factors. I say "negative" in quotation marks because obviously there are many negatives to smoking weed in my opinion, I've just not had any physical negatives to date.
I'm one of those people that when anyone finds out I smoke weed, they're usually pretty shocked. Have always had a job since my first paper round at 12 years old and haven't been unemployed a day in my life. Have had a few careers - banking, technology etc. and have always been a really high performer, in my working life and personal life. I've got a great group of friends, can talk to anyone and have always been a very upbeat, positive and social person. I guess some might think "why would you want to quit smoking weed then, if it's all been OK?". Well, there are quite a few reasons which I'll go into below. But before I do, I definitely want to show my appreciation for this forum.
Thanks to this forum
Over the last 10 years or so, I've stopped smoking a a few times, usually for a period ranging at the shortest for 3 months and at the longest for 6 months......but I've always managed to pull myself back in. That said, this forum has ALWAYS been my go to place when looking for a morale boost, to relate to others and to feel understood myself, and to read all of the great success stories that have been posted by people who've managed to successfully quit on here. It's been reading those posts and how upbeat and positive they get me feeling, that I thought I'd try doing it myself actually now that I've decided to quit for good. I also think that writing things down helps to almost make them more official in our minds, and can help us hold ourselves more accountable, especially when you know that others are following you on your journey too!
So why am I quitting now?
It's a combination of reasons really, and honestly is far overdue. Regardless of how many times I've told myself that smoking weed has been great because of all of the laughs and good times I had with friends, that only really applies to my younger years, say 18-24, since then it's mainly been habitual, mostly to help my incredibly overactive mind go to sleep and switch off each night. When i think about it, the biggest regret in my life is without a doubt that I even started in the first place!
You know how it goes, it very much ends up becoming a 'crutch' for us during stressful times, hard times, happy times - you name it! I'll bet I'm not alone when I say that as a smoker you'll always be able to conjure up a purpose, reason or occasion for getting high....we rationalise that it's required, or needed, or will enhance things for us, which to a small extent can be true (e.g. the effects on our bodies when our brains release dopamine, seratonin, endorphines etc) but the truth for me is simply - No, no I don't 'need' it, and I don't like the control that it's had over me.
The main reasons I'm quitting are:
1) I do not want to feel content at times in life when I shouldn't feel content. You know how it goes - got some jobs to do around the house? Feeling nervous or worried about an interview or opportunity? Feeling sad over the loss of someone or something? Get high and you'll feel fine, certainly more fine than you were. But thing is, I don't want to anymore, and I don't think it's healthy to live like that. We experience emotions and anxiety and worry naturally, and often for good reason. It's an evolutionary response that's designed to ensure we get things done that we know need doing, and we should feel a little uncomfortable until they are done! Well, I don't want to be able to be going through pretty much anything in life and tell myself that it's OK because I can always have a smoke. I want my mindframe to be "I can go through anything in life and it's OK because my wife, my friends and my family are there for me". I want the fact that I'm doing the right things in life to create natural feelings of contentment and to trigger my brain release those feel good chemicals, and not from a drug!
2) The way it can take a social butterfly, and turn them pretty antisocial. I always used to have such wide friendship circles and so many different type of people for friends. But again, you know how it goes, after a while you start passing up the opportunity to do activities and things or go to see friends or family, because you'd rather get high and play games or chill. You make excuses to get out of things when really it's just because you want to get high and experience how that feels. Well you know how this ends up? Eventually some of your friends simply stop inviting or asking you to join them, and as the years go by your friendship circle can get smaller and smaller. This is something I want to change too. I want to get back to how active and happy-go-lucky I used to be!
3) The cost - I've never been short of money and have always earned good salaries, but damn. I sat down the other day to work out how much I'll have spent over 15 years and I felt extremely angry with myself. I was nearly livid - how many holidays could I have treated the wife to? Nice things for the house, nice car, going more places and seeing more of the world.....all forsaken because what, I want to get high and game or chill? That's no way to experience life and I've had enough of it!
4) The health impacts. Yeeeeees yes I know. I COULD use a vape instead so it's not as bad for me. Tried that. Had a volcano vaporizer for a while that I barely used - it just didn't feel like the same, enjoyable experience as smoking a spliff did, and so I couldn't get into it. Yeeeeeeees yes, I've baked edibles using it too, lost count of how many brownies I've made over the years and actually they are pretty great, BUT, they are too hard to time unlike a pre-bedtime smoke, and don't give you the instant gratification smoking a joint (with tobacco) does. Anyway bottom line - I do not want my lungs or my body to suffer any more, whether this is lack of motivation to go to the gym because I'd rather get high, or the fact that essentially I'm deciding that "I'm ok with dying earlier than I should do and giving myself cancer which will deprive my loved ones of my presence earlier than should be the case"....and no, I'm not OK with that at all. I'm not in bad shape or anything, I'm 6,2" and have always been really sporty and fit, but hey im not getting any younger so I don't want to make maintaining that much harder than it should be!
5) Time to try for children. This is as it says, my wife and I are trying for children. We actually spent 14 months trying with no luck initially, until she managed to get pregnant earlier this year. Unfortunately we went through the horrible experience of a miscarriage at 12 weeks, which was really unexpected. Anyway, I don't care to make excuses anymore like "aaaah science hasn't yet REALLY proven weed is bad for sperm, there are articles to suggest it's good and bad etc etc" - my stance now has become "it's bloody common sense that shoving a drug into your body (especially with tobacco) IS obviously going to have detrimental effects, and even if it didn't, it's not worth the risk. I want to have a healthy child or two with my wife more than I want to get high.
6) Groggy feeling in the morning. I don't want to wake up feeling a little heavy-headed and groggy in the mornings after smoking/eating weed the night before. I want to wake up humming and singing like I used to, ready to take on whatever the damn day has to throw at me, and I don't mind if it's an early start. I want to be "up and at 'em" instead of clinging on to however extra minutes of a lie-in I can have from staying up getting high until 1,2,3am the night before.
7) I want control of my life back. Yeeeeeeh I know, I've been in control of my life this whole time. What I mean is, I want to be permanently free from the thinking voice in my head going "Now how might this inconvenience my ability to get high" as one of the first things I think when faced with something in life. Overnight hotel stay with work? Naaaah. Going away for a few days with the wife? Not unless I can smoke! BBQ or gathering around a friend or family members house? Naaah I'd rather get high. For those of you that have seen the Jim Carey film 'Yes Man' - smoking weed has turned me into a 'No Man'. Well, I want to becom a 'Yes Man' again. Someone that can seize opportunities by the cahones and take my wife on trips away, see the world, travel, whatever - ANYTHING but doing little and getting high in my spare time. Why should my wife get to miss out on opportunities because I'm a selfish b*****d that wants to smoke instead? When I have kids, why should they? Answer is - they shouldn't and I shouldn't. So be gone with you marijuana you foul demon, it's time to exorcise you from my life!
8) There are a load of other reasons too really, I could go on but I won't. Maybe if people reply to this thread we'll end up talking more about things but yeh, I'll be here for hours otherwise and I'm already aware of the 'dissertation-like' length of this post already!
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