Struggling to stop...

[withdub]

I've been a smoker since I was a teenager, I'm 28 now. I really wanna stop because I see how my substance abuse is a constant excuse for me not to do things. I end up staying in bed all day smoking. I've left the house maybe 3 or 4 times this month suffering from agoraphobia since I was attacked out the front of my house last year.
I was getting better this year, but the past two months have been an absolute relapse back into my unhealthy habit.

I just can't bring myself to actually stop even though it's what I want and deeply wish I had the courage to do. I've gotten to the point where I'm now using my rent money to smoke.

Can anyone offer any advice to get me over the line to finally stop buying?

peace and love community <3

[gateway loiterer]

Hi withdub -
I was a habitual smoker for close to 25 years and quit 14 months ago. Cold turkey but it was hell and not recommended unless necessary. I suggest starting by breaking the patterns, and see if you can start slowly establishing new ones. See how many hours you can go without smoking, and than try topping that the next day. Also, exercise and meditation helped me a lot. If you have a problem getting outside right now, I suggest doing some indoor cardio if possible. And I can't stress enough how mediation has helped as well. There's some great meditation apps out there, so try that too.
Hope you can soon see the clearing in the fog but don't beat yourself up. It's a slow progression.