What to do if you feel like using cannabis

[Cannabis Rehab Admin]

When you are feeling bad and feel like you are about to crack, instead of caving in and using again, write down what you are feeling, then come and post it here, it will help to share what you are going through with others who are going through the same, it does work, that’s why groups like narcotics anonymous are so successful at helping people recover and I would always advise joining one of them, the only problem is that they are not available 24/7, we are, take advantage of our free service. We are all trying to detox and stay off marijuana, we are all with you. So whether is day 5 or year five since you last used, if you feel like you want to use again, come and tell us about it. Also why not make some replies and show some support to others, you may find helping others gives you far more back than you could ever imagine and helps keep you on the right track in return.

Sharing your experience will not only help yourself, but it will help others too and on behalf of myself and everybody who uses this forum, I sincerely thank you for your contribution.

Take care

[needabreak]

cheers BFB!

i'm in2 my third potless week-one nite last week i called to a mates house and th second i saw th smoke i was haven it-smoked a few joints-made a joint and smoked it wen i got home-aint smoked since-

i cant say no-so i'm avoidn smokers for a bit-dont know how long-i'll just have to take it as it comes-other peoples' xperience definitly helps-

cheers BFB-ur work's vital to help me stay stoppd-

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Hey guys...its 3:20 am and I am wide awake...had one of those dreams, but this time its actually a positive thing. Had a bad nite last nite...just life and detoxing getting on top of me..I dreamed I caved...I was sitting in my bedroom (as I did) going thru the rituals and smoking myhead off....so real I could swear when I woke up I felt stoned! But the feeling I had when I woke up...just so disappointed in myself, for my kids..felt really heartsick...was an excellent reminder of how it would be if I really did relapse..if I let my circumstances and this damn pot addiction get the better of me..I wasn't thinking about pot when I went to sleep (finally!) but I guess my subconscious is still clinging to the old habits and escape techniques. Anyway, I just never want to feel that kind of disappointment in myself again, so it was an apt reminder. So guys, please keep fighting, cos I don't want any of u to feel that way about yourselves either...we'v all come so far..even those of you who are on your first nite are stronger than u were the day before cos it takes balls to acknowledge an addiction and even bigger ones to stop. At least this dream served a purpose and did not contain wierd and unreal images or situations...I hate those! It really brought home the fact that although life sux rite now, it would suck even more if I went back..that it doesn't suck as much as it did when I was a pothead and just too disconnected and pleasantly numb to realise it. Just wanted to share that with you all. Peace. Keep fighting!

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Hey guys,
Another fitful, sleepless nite..had a nasty dream and was rite back at the last incident my ex assaulted me....his family standing around...so I came on here. I'v been looking at wierd al clips on you tube (something suggested to me by my cyber buddy) and it has worked wornders....laughed so much my tummy is sore! So I thought I'd just mention it and recommend the same thing to u guys...if wierd al isn't ur style, find something or somebody who is...tired but a lot more centred and have no urge to numb my brain with pot..so happy bout that, cos the excercises the counsellor taught me weren't effective tonight...it was all just too real..made me feel exactly like I did that nite...was just bombarded with scary images..but now I'm smiling...try it..it just mite work! Peace.

[Drug Rehab Chick]

What I did when I felt like using

I just want you guys to know that if it wasn't for you all I would have caved last nite..the struggle with the ex mite be ova (or nearly ova) but the general stuggle of life goes on..I can't find a house, guys...they're either too small, too expensive, too shonky or too far away! I still can't figure out how to afford to move either. And the issues surrounding the ex haven't magically disappeared so last nite I was just being bombarded with a lot of freaky, yucky thoughts. I spilled my guts to my quitting buddy and then spent a great deal of time reading through the posts on the rehab group until I felt strong enough not to pick up the phone and call one of my stoner mates....thats the scary thing for me rite now..one phone call is all it wud take..never mind that I'v deleted all the numbers...I'm very conscious of that...I'm sure my pothead mates are just waiting to welcome me back into the fold...so guys, if any of you are at that stage where ur really fighting the urge and even tho u know u shouldn't go back to pot...the reasons are still clear for not going back, but life and ur brain makes u want to disregard it all, say "what the hell" and partake anyway....gain the strength u need to say no by coming here and either venting or just reading thru other peoples posts..both is my preference! Cos thanks to u guys I made it to 5 weeks and 1 day without having to start again....again!

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

Day 6

Hello, I'm a mother of three and have been smoking for about.........well, awhile. I come from two parents that are most certainly addicted to pot, as well as my brother. I grew up with a mother that would either lock herself in her room for long periods of time, or ground me for inexplicable reasons. I realized as an adult that this was because she was smoking all the time. I am ashamed to admit that I have been doing the exact same thing to my children. I have a beautiful daughter, Gracie, who is 7 years old and one of the best people I have ever met. She is honest, sweet, fair, and astoundingly smart. My older son, Hunter, is 6. He is currently in therapy for emotional issues he is experiencing, I feel, from mine and my husband's lack of...........well, I'm not really sure exactly, but I know that I haven't given him the proper attention I should, not by a long shot. My infant son, Walt, is 8 months old, and I worry every day that he will be affected by my continuous smoking while pregnant. I am so, so, so ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to detox for him. I am a very selfish person, and pot has enabled me to turn a blind eye to all of my issues. I've had at least 7-8 jobs in the last five years, and none of them have lasted over 9 months. Almost all were lost or quit due to habitual absenteeism. My husband, who is not afflicted by an addiction to pot, has supported me continuously for the 6 1/2 years of our marriage. He is a wonderful father to our children and an inspiration for me. In July, he will have been sober for 2 years. He quit smoking cigarettes of his own accord 3 years ago. He is my rock, and who I use as a sort of "listening counselor". He listens while I talk, basically.

I have tried to detox in the past, and have succeeded marginally here and there, only to fall back into the same trap over and over again. This past Saturday, while lying in bed, I made a promise to myself that I would stop eating meat and quit smoking pot. I'm not really sure what brought it on, but I know that I've had a desire to start taking care of my body for awhile now. I grew up with an average frame, and usually hovered around the 140 lb. mark, and I stand at 5'4". After having my older son, I started smoking on a regular basis, which turned into pretty much all day every day. I have added about sixty pounds to my body, which alternately disgusts me and terrifies me. I feel like my addiction has cost me so many things, and I just want to feel normal again. I want my children to have a normal mom, who has the energy during the day to take them places they want to go, and who has the willpower to get healthy. I worry that if I don't quit for good this time, eventually they will be teenagers, and start the cycle all over again. I don't want that for them. All I want is for them to be happy and healthy, and I know that an addiction to pot would hinder both of those things. I feel like I have the strength, this time, and I am so thankful for this forum, which has, right now, allowed me to think about all of these things, and to get my mind back where it belongs and off wanting to smoke.

[agent227]

The previous post is mine. I'm now registered. Thanks for the amazing support guys. I've been reading more posts, and it's just making me want to say clean even more.

[Night Nurse]

Thank you

Great, inspiring post! I also have 2 small kids, 6 and 8 years old. The thing that hurts me the most is when they look straight into your eyes, and they know. I know that they do. Maybe not what it is, but that something is different. I just got that look from them.

Thank you for your post. All of you have given me hope.

[Drug Rehab Chick]

From one mum to others

Hi Agent 227 & Night Nurse,

I know what u mean guys...I really do. All of it. I've got 4 precious daughters, and a grand daughter due in August. Sometimes the guilt of what I'v done....let myself become a slave to pot...is overwhelming. But loving your children as much as you do, and honestly acknowledging that it affects them...and using that, using them as ur motivation to stop smoking can be a very good thing. ..a positive thing. For me it was the only motivation that worked and kept me strong...and still does...cos like u guys my kids are my world, I love them dearly and cannot go back to the detatched, screwed up mum I was...they're too important to me. That desire and that refusal to take my focus off of them is the bottom line in why I am still straight, cos I really struggle sometimes with that urge to have a j when things are getting to me...when I'm really upset or angry(be prepared for that cos even if ur normally a peaceful, placid person...the anger throws you..it can get really intense) or overwhelmed by my life, or anything that used to automatically make me light up, really.

But I can truthfully say that CannabisRehab.org has been the main thing that has helped maintain my focus...helped me to remember how important this is..and given me the support and encouragement I'v needed to keep myself fixated on my girls and my promise to not go back. I'v been going thru some pretty major stuff...still am...but I do not want to see the look in their eyes that u guys know so well again...I saw it all the time...and I despised myself for it....which made me hide those feelings by getting stoned. Its a vicious cycle...but the good news is that it can be broken. Its been 6 weeks and 4 days for me...and even though life has thrown some yucky stuff at me, I'm coping much better because I'm not smoking...I'm not drowning in despair and my mind is so much clearer...and the counselling has meant that I'm starting to heal and learn to deal with things better....and again, at those times when things are getting too much, this is where I come...these are the people that I talk to..and it has helped me every single time...they are amazing...so compassionate, understanding, supportive, encouraging and wise...and they're always here. I really encourage u to post as often as u need to, cos the difference it makes is incredible.

Please try not to get bogged down by the guilt guys...I know its hard not to, but u have to keep in mind that u'v done good things for your children too...they know that u love them, and many parents do things that affect their kids....some never realise or acknowledge it...and u both have....thats the start of the change...thats the start of a better life for them and for you...and you should feel proud of that..proud that ur here and doing something about it. My parents have never smoked pot...never really drank, but they continually hurt myself and my girls because of how they are...their lack of support and critisism....when I was a child, nobody outside would ever have guessed what was going on...that my bro's and myself were feeling miserable and unloved and unacceptable...it was a nuclear family, and my dad was a pastor...my point is that smoking pot does not make u a bad person or a hopeless parent...and especially cos u want to do the best for your kids and you're actually working on changing the thing u'v recognised as something that hurts them, u should feel proud of that. I really hope that both of u can acknowledge the courage and strength it is taking you to even come to the decision to stop...its a really scary thing to face up to...even more so to start to change.

But you don't have to be scared, I promise. Its a tough thing. It sux really badly at times, but the rewards are indescribable....the connection with your kids...the awareness and gratefullness of who they are...all the little things that u miss when ur enslaved to an addiction...its truly mind blowing. Its the best feeling guys...a bit like when you hold them as tiny babies...when ur looking at that tiny face and resolving to do the best that u possibly can for them...when ur discovering all the things that make them so unique and special to you....its not too late to do that again...

So I really want to encourage you both...to tell u that I feel so much for u...to realise ur stuffing up your own life is one thing, but I know how awful that feeling is when u realise that its affected your precious children..BUT...everyone makes mistakes guys...everyone...and you're both obviously loving parents who want the very best for your kids...thats the important thing...thats the thing to really hold onto and remember...pot robs u of feeling like there's any good in u at all, but its not true..I know it feels that way, but its a big fat lie. So please remember the good in yourselves...please remember that there's so much more to u than being a pothead..and the longer you go without pot, the more things u'll recognise about yourself that u like...that ur proud of.

And please come here and post whenever you need to..we all understand. Everyone here knows the struggle and a lot of us are parents and can totally understand those feelings of inadequacy and guilt...they're just awful. We're here when u need us, especially at the times when it all gets too much. Take care of yourselves and remember u can do this...we're here to help you with that...I'm proof of how much CannabisRehab.org can work..I will be grateful to these people for the rest of my life cos they'v helped me to take back my life and provide a much better life for my kids...the possibility of a much better future. That just means everything to me. Good luck to both of you...we're with u all the way. Peace.

[agent227]

Snowballing

Yesterday was a wonderful day for me. I met my friend in the downtown area of the big city near me for lunch, and we took a long walk afterward. After I left her, I went to the flea market my mother-in-law runs and browsed, even found my infant the cutest little baby chuck taylor black high tops. Had an awesome evening with the hubby, and fell asleep incredibly early because of my schedule being so whack from quitting. Today, however, is a different story. Yesterday, I hardly thought about smoking, and when I did, it was only to congratulate myself on what a great job I'm doing so far.

Today, I have found myself craving it like crazy, and even thinking about how I might go about getting ahold of something. I was out in traffic today and could hardly contain my anger, and I yelled at my daughter today for chewing with her mouth open. As I mentioned in a previous post, my daughter is sweet as can be, and in no way deserved my misplaced anger. I am craving it so bad right now, and I feel like the only solution would be to take a nap for the rest of the day. I feel incredibly depressed, and anxious.

Also, my family and I are going canoeing tomorrow, which I love, but it will be the first time I've ever gone with smoking one somewhere along the way. It just doesn't feel like it will be as enjoyable. I feel like I'll be thinking the whole time about how I would be having way more fun if I were high. I know that I'm not strong enough to be a casual smoker, that it's all or nothing for me, but even at this very moment, I'm trying to reconcile with myself that it would be okay just to smoke one tomorrow and that I could continue on with my abstinence afterward. That's just bull, and I know it. I'm just not feeling very strong right now. It's really, really, REALLY hard. Especially after my mother, even after I told her that I'm clean, lit one up right in front of me. She's a real nutcase, and I think it genuinely bothers her thinking about me being strong enough to quit. Well, I guess I'm going to go have a nap. I'll try to keep my chin up.

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

Hi agent 227 the same thing happend to me had argument with my 20 year old son about swearing in front of his mother so he left in a big huff had a good cry because i sounded like my father. But then my wife came home belching out enough scotch fumes to blister paint off the walls and lit up she always said i am pigheaded and stubborn i hope i am the harder this addiction tries to pull me back i will dig the heals in futher. Anyway it is day 25 of my new life can only get better been struggling since day 15 got 4hours sleep don't feel to bad today so just hang in there all the best Dale

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Hi Agent 227,

I'm really sorry to hear that things are so tough rite now...they will get better, but the first few days are hell...the physical symptoms are peanuts compared to the emotional ones. I'm really glad that u have a supportive loving husband at hand...not cos it makes it any easier on the cravings, but cos at least u have someone there to reasure u that u r doing well and to give you cuddles when you most need them...cos u r doing well..really well. Resisting that urge to score when your brain is screaming at you for a hit is terribly hard...it takes strength and courage to not do it...it takes resolve...so now is the time to really congratulate urself on doing a great job. It all may be a normal part of detoxing but it sux bigtime, and many people cave right at the point where u r now..its extremely difficult not to...but u did!...u came on here instead and I really want you to know that took guts....well done mate.

The anger is hard to deal with..I wish I could tell u a way to make it better, but unfortunately I can't...riding it out is the only thing I found u could do. I chose to start detoxing when my kids were visiting their dad and when they came back I told them I was sick at first...I mostly interalised it all, I was scared I would go off at them for no reason...I snapped at them too..I hated myself for it..they were really good about it and I think put it down to the fact I had just broken up with my ex and all the dramas surrounding that. In the end I told the 3 oldest the truth...found out they all knew, even tho I did what ur mum did and locked myself in my room...they're smart kids....don't know why I even thought I was hiding it from them. But mine are older than yours and able to understand about pot..I recently found out my youngest who's 10 knew as well! Please try not to be so hard on urself....the big picture is so important rite now....and what ur doing will benefit your children so much....a pot free mum is a truly worthwhile gift to them..especially if they have so many other family members with problems.

Keeping yourself busy is great...distraction is great..having a mum who lights up in front of your face is not. It would be very easy to tell you to just stay away from her, and your dad and bro if they do the same....but its not that simple, I know...they're your family. It puts you in a very difficult position. My parents drive me crazy..not with pot but with their general attitudes and lack of support...After yet another blow up I finally sat them down and told them that they were free to feel however they liked and I respected their right to their own opinions, but since they didn't respect mine, in future I would not argue with them, I would simply walk out..and I have...I have even left my own house because I just refuse to put up with it any longer....the abuse my father dished out to mum is a biggy (used to get in trouble for pulling him up about it), as is the bigotry they often show. Is there a chance u could do something similar..just walk out if they light up in front of u? Just refuse to accept their disrespect and lack of support in this? Don't know what u cud do on a canoe tho!

Stay strong mate..ur doing the rite thing and although its difficult for now, the end result is well and truly worth the struggle..I promise. You will enjoy everything much more without dope..cos ur brain will be all there....u'll take in things that previously u didn't cos stoned people aren't very observant..life just passes u by. I'm finding I enjoy things more now than before, cos its more real..I'm more there to cherish every moment. Its a real blessing...and I too was scared about not having any fun, or not as much fun anyway...in reality I'm having a lot more than I used to. U will be alright. We're all here for u, remember that and please keep us posted. Peace.

[howdidigethere]

any response is greatly appreciated

this is my first post ever and it is a little frightening...I've been trying to detox the mj for about six months now and during that time i probably spent about a collection of 1 1/2 months sober... just kept goin back. the real sad part is, is that it is sooo crucial for my dreams that i quit...i love music and most especialy singing and performing. I am in school for it and never would have imagined in my dreamy heart that i'd come this far... but i carried an addiction into it with me and have kept it from those who believe in me. all my good friends are your not so rich, but intelligent, real artsy and drink and smoke but are good fun lively people. Another weird part is is that i can function and follow through on things, and i have a high grade point average(although u wouldn't tell it from my typing style!)...It makes me think just how awesome i can be when i am not smoking..i do suffer from depression sometimes, but I have made some great changes in my life recently.. I tell ya this is the one that is really giving me a battle. i crave a sober life... and strong beautiful lungs...It is so terribly embarrassing to even fathom actually posting this...One might ask why? why can't she stop? i feel like i've been givin a change to follow my dream, and i am messing it all up...for an immediate fix to those punches that life will always throw at me...but there is much hope...i just wish i was sober already....

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

a reply

Hi I read your post and recognised how you feel. I'm just the same, just different circumstances. I hold down a respectable full time job. I smoke every day and I hate myself for it - especially decieving people. My partner makes all the purchases and rolls, so all I do is smoke. He doesn't want to stop which means it'll always be around. I convince myself that I'm going to stop but then I get home and we share a joint and a coffee. A few more joints and I'm off to bed wishing I wasn't so weak and convincing myself I'll stop tomorrow. And so it goes on, one day Ill muster the strength. Thanks for listening Karen

[Cannabis Rehab Guest]

Scared

this is the first time i have written and i am really scared right now. i have 4 beautiful children,11yrs,8yrs,2yrs and a 1 year old, and a loving fiance. i WAS smoking the drug everyday for 5 years and 5 months. i am only in my second day of quitting and so far i am feeling ok but very scared. i have tried several times to detox but that would only last for 2 or 3 days at a time, i would get so cranky with everyone about nothing, forever yelling at the kids, accusing my partner of things that i had made up in my head and really thought it was true. i have lost so many good friends, and the part that hurts the most is looking at my children everyday and knowing that i have hurt them the most. i am so angry at myself and very embarressed. i am not going to give any excuses for smoking because there is none, it was extremely selfish and so stupid. i know this is it for me, i am so confident i can do it this time. with the money i am going to have now, my kids are going to have everything they ever wanted. most important of all they are going to have there mother back and thats all they have ever wanted. ive missed sports carnivals, swimming carnivals, forgotten to pay for school trips, tuckshop duty, reading lessons. the last 5 years has been just one big haze of pot smoke, well that has changed. i have wiped out all the phone numbers in my phone and will only be adding my true friends who are going to support me with this. i know i am going to lose more friends over the next few weeks, but for the first time in a long time, i really dont care, they didnt come to see me or my family, they came to smoke the drug and thats it. the next few weeks, months, years are going to be tough but i have the love and support from my family. i will keep you posted with how i am going and good luck to you all, WE CAN BEAT THIS!!!!!!