What do I tell my kids?

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Been wondering lately what to do about my children...how much to tell them. I have four girls and all but the youngest, who's 10 know I am detoxing. I have lots of other stuff going on so she probably attributes the symptoms to those things, but she's not stupid either...kids never are. I have been extremely honest with the oldest about it but haven't talked to the youngest about it at all...now I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I'v always thought that honesty was the best policy but I want to protect my kids from the harsher realities of life at least til they're older. But the thought occurred to me that whats happening at the moment could serve as a positive thing, in that she would have a first hand perspective of the dangers of pot...which is always a good thing, no matter the age. The other two are aware and are proud of my efforts (I get lots of hugs and encouragement) and I know that at least now I'm setting a positive example about drugs, which they need cos they're both in high school and surrounded by all kinds of drugs. My question regarding them is..do I sit them down and tell them whats going on with me when things are particularly bad or just stick to what I'v been doing, which is basically telling them its making me sick....haven't told them anything about the emotional aspects cos I'm scared they'll worry..I want to make life as easy as possible for them, especially now when their mum is quitting drugs and an abusive, violent relationship...I am very focused on not putting them through any more pain if I can help it..but I don't want to transfer my stuff to them. I just want them to be ok. They are much happier without my ex around and I know they will be even better with a straight thinking mum. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[needabreak]

u'll know wen the time is right

last year i told my 12 year old son about my smokin problem-th reason i told him was that i knew it was having a bad affect on him and our relationship-i was scared but i knew i had to come clean with him-i talkd to him about drink also-i stoppd that about 7 years ago cause it was a problem for me too-i felt it was time for him to know-his mother and i have been separated for 8 or 9 years and sincei talked to him he has been happier-my 10 year old son didnt need to know and still doesnt-he will wen i think its time-

u'll know wen to speak about it and wen its th right time-dont do it for u-do it for her-because wen it helps her it helps u-and if now is the time then now is the time-but no matter wat its vital that u keep not smoking and do wat ur doing-and wat ur doing takes balls-its not easy accepting th bad parts of oneself and dealing with them-that takes effort-that takes strength dude-

time is a healer etc etc etc-all them old sayings may sound like nonsense but ther not-they have lasted th test of time because knowledge and understanding and selfawareness are so important in lfe-always have been and always will be-u'r doing great-well done-as adults we need to acknowledge our own goodness and improvements to ourselves-its very important to make us who we are-

u'll make it-never doubt ur decision to stop

[lastchance]

Hi Hippychick,

I just read your message and wanted to type something. I'm really not qualified or thinking clearly enough yet to give you advice but maybe your right, your kids deserve some explanation.

Now that I’m starting to feel better i want to tell people that are close to me that i feel life is going to be better and tell them what i have been going through and what I’m experiencing right now. Although i am not sure now is the right time, maybe i will leave it a while longer.

I think your doing the right thing by talking to them and explaining aspects of what your going through, possibly i would be inclined to water some things down for now, but nobody knows your children like you, so your the best judge of knowing what they can deal with.

Your story makes me feel pathetic, as you are dealing with so much more than just giving up pot, you have my greatest respect for dealing with all this and good luck with everything.

[Drug Rehab Chick]

Thank you guys...Last chance, what you said in your message hits the nail on the head...I have to be sure whatever I tell my baby, its for her sake and not my own. She's such a beautiful, loving little girl and I know she's concerned about me. The only one who knows the cold stark truth is my 19 y/o..my 14 y/o and my 12 y/o know I have a problem and know I'm detoxing and doing it hard, but I don't go into details...I leave that for my counseller. I'v never smoked in front of them, so its all a big mystery to them I think..and some of it should stay that way!

Please don't be hard on yourself..we all have our own journey, and I still hate myself because a lot of what I'm dealing with is the result of my addiction, and even the stuff thats not has gotten worse because I've been escaping reality for so long...my problem has always been that I'm much more willing to accept the bad things about myself and brush aside the good...and that sounds a bit like what ur doing. Hold your head high mate..you're doing a good thing..a positive thing for you and those you love..that takes more strength than you're giving yourself credit for. In my opinion we both deserve credit and encouragement, cos ur right, its a tough thing to do but worth it in the end. Your comments have really encouraged me and the fact that although you're down on yourself, you still wanted to post something to comfort me shows me that you are indeed a good person with a compassionate heart....so don't give up and I won't either!

[Drug Rehab Chick]

I'm so sorry, last chance...I gave someone else the credit for your advice! This is one of those times I wish I could blame being stoned, but I'm not...just dippy and I'm very proud of myself for that. I have a great relationship with my kids, which makes me feel even worse for causing them so much heartache (I think everyone can relate to that), but ur right about time being a great healer...for all of us, so I don't think I'll say much to my youngest yet cos mummy will get a little better every day...I'm determined to beat this thing once and for all! I'm shaky and emotionally fragile, but ironically I'm thinking clearer than I have in years...scary stuff most of the time but necessary. Best wishes....keep up the good work..and thankyou for your words of encouragement.