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Topic Review (Newest First)

  • 09-12-2018, 10:01 PM
    Linzao

    Inspired

    Been smoking poppers for a couple years now... I am at the point where I just hate them so much! But I still can’t get enough. They’re starting to affect my daily abilities because I feel so exhausted after hitting a toke. I am at a point in my life where I know I have to stop in order to be satisfied with myself.
    I just wanted to say that it was really helpful finding something like this while I gather my thoughts about quitting. It’s really nice that one person can open up and help so many.
  • 03-25-2018, 02:40 AM
    Sunshine
    Hi Kasper,

    Was wondering how things are going. I know your silence on the forum is often indicative of a relapse (I'm the same) but really hoping that isn't the case. Those 3 strains you were 'sitting on' perhaps called a little too hard? :-/

    Let us know how you're doing.

    Xx
  • 03-07-2018, 05:23 PM
    Alice
    Hey Kasper, welcome back!

    It sounds like you have lots of good reasons to quit. So, I wish you the best with it. Most people can't go back to casual smoking, even if they are not sitting on a big bag of weed, but that would make it harder! All the receptors open up again when you have that first joint, and they demand to get fed.

    Alcohol can be tricky, especially in the earlier stages of our quits because it lets our guard down. I think that once you have been smober for some time and don't feel the pull of cannabis any more, drinking is usually not as much of an issue. I don't know if the general party culture might lead you repeatedly down this path. Some people can do it. It sounds like Juan is partying and drinking, and not smoking. Hard call though! I don't think I would be able to do that, especially in the early stages.

    Enjoy your journaling and your blossoming vitality. Freedom is intoxicating in its own way!
  • 03-07-2018, 04:26 PM
    JWC
    Welcome back from the haze Kasper!

    Looks like you still present a pretty good case for wanting to quit and seem ready to move on. How to do it though....arguably, the hardest part.

    Have you looked into Marijuana Anonymous? I have been going to weekly meetings and they have been quite helpful. There is also a very informative free app for downloading. I think, among other things, this will give you the opportunity to connect in person with others in your situation. You might even make some new friends and find some good role models.

    Glad you are back
    John
  • 03-07-2018, 09:53 AM
    Kasper

    I'm back!

    Hello everybody, remember me?

    I used to be the voice of sobriety, however I joined the dark side for a while and went on a bit of a bender in honour of John's birthday. So its been about 21 days since my relapse and I've been going hard! I've just moved into that new place I was excited about however not the freshest start, but that's what today is for.

    During my hazy time I can once again confirm that in reality there is not that much to miss. Sure the short term satisfaction is there and the ability to do whatever whenever you want is nice, but, being sedated and unconscious for your life is not. My productivity is brutal, my memory and general cognitive ability has also been in the dumps. I got my first D and that was a bit of realization. Also the fact that I forgot to pick up my son from school the other day as well (this killed me).

    So I'm still trying to figure out why I couldn't just smoke a Jay at a party and be good with it. It might be due to the fact that I'm sitting on 3 different grades of weed I've been dying to try since my quit, lol, the fire Alice had warned me about. Also as John stated alcohol is a tricky little ***** and I must practice extreme caution when allowing this substance into my body.

    I've been so useless as a stoner and frankly I'm super sick of it... I'm so ready to make shit happen and the weed has once again slowed me down to a point where I'm barley moving. It's also interesting to note that i don't journal when I'm off the horse, because there's no growth happening. So back on the horse I go, that was fun... well not really. It's only been a few hours and I'm already feeling the vitality slowly returning....
  • 02-24-2018, 12:05 AM
    JWC
    Hi Alice, Kasper, and Juan,

    Thanks you all for replying to my post! I really appreciate it. Sorry it's taken me a bit to reply. Been kinda busy trying to keep busy.

    Alice--too funny about your process of realizing the quote was yours. You talk about your dreams and wondering if it was because of a particular strain you were smoking. I am sort of wondering a similar thing myself. Last November I met this guy who spent a few months in Humbolt County, California trimming weed during harvest. (Humbolt County has been growing weed for years and is arguably one of the best weed producing areas in existence--real good shit, man :-) Anyway, he gave me some hash which was what he scraped off of his scissors every day I guess. I thought, "Oh what a treat". Fast forward to mid December and I started to sprinkle a tiny bit over my weed in my pipe. I only smoked 2-3 hits a day. I did this for about a week and a half. One day, a Wednesday, I happened to not smoke anything. Not only was I awake all that night, I couldn't be still. I literally paced around the house the entire night. Soooo, I have been thinking a lot about it and more and more I think the hash did me in. It was just too concentrated and just pushed me over the edge. In December of 2016, a year before I smoked the hash, I didn't smoke for 3 weeks and I was totally fine. So either my significant withdrawal symptoms were caused by one more year of my regular smoking habit, or it was the hash. Either way, I never want to go through these withdrawal symptoms again.

    Your posts are so informative, supportive, and reassuring. I am going to be aware of the 3 month mark as you said it was a bit tricky for you. I am generally feeling much better than I had been. I have been sleeping decently for a week or so now--just after my last post on here. Thank God! I still feel a little brain dead and a little depressed--like I can't get really happy or excited about anything. But I have moments when I feel like the fog clears a little bit. I lost 15 pounds in about 5 weeks because of lack of appetite, no alcohol, and exercising. (I totally needed to lose the weight) I am eating better now and proper amounts.

    Hi Juan---to your comment about the withdrawal symptoms lasting so long. I do think it will take a good chunk of time to be "rewired" and for all the THC to be gone. Particularly given the fact that I think I sort of fried my brain on that hash and that I'm 52 and I've read that older people don't bounce back quite as quickly as younger people. I've also read the recovery is progressive, but 3 months, 6 months, and even a year are benchmarks for various levels of recovery. So I am generally ok with that--especially that I am now sleeping. But, Juan, I too wonder whether there might be something else causing or exacerbating my depressed mood. Mid-life crisis stuff perhaps.....
    Also, thanks for the white noise suggestion. I have used this in the past and loved it. Fans or humidifiers....hummmm....love it. But I'm pretty sure the insomnia I was experiencing was not going to be helped by white noise. Or much of anything else really. But as I said, I am sleeping much better now.

    Kasper, dude. Day 1 on 2/19. Sounds like you celebrated my birthday which was 2/19. I'm honored that you remembered but you didn't have to celebrate so hard.
    Seriously though, I look forward to hearing how you are doing. Alcohol --especially a lot of alcohol--gets you all loosened up and we tend to do things that we could end up wishing we hadn't done. You seem like a thoughtful and insightful guy and I have enjoyed reading your posts. I feel you will reach your goal. You may have to be careful about what situations you put yourself in for the short term though. I think you said something about learning to just be or be without being influenced (by drugs) ((or I guess you could add people to this as well)). This resonates with me right now as I am learning to "just be" without the influence. I loved being high and was fairly good at it. I was social, funny, functional...no one ever really knew. I do miss that in a way, but I know that it was catching up to me, even before the hash. And there is no way I want to go through these withdrawals again (and I've read they can be worse the second time around). So I have to focus on moving on from it and create a weed-less life.

    Thanks again y'all for being here and reading this. It really is helpful!
    Be well
    John
  • 02-22-2018, 01:02 AM
    Alice
    You will get there. . . how long did it take last time?

    Our brains are not so plastic that they can just bounce back in a day or two once we have flooded our receptors with dopamine.

    Be kind to yourself and know that success is really about never giving up on your dreams.

    Also, we miss you, hehe.
    Have a great day.
  • 02-22-2018, 12:06 AM
    Kasper
    Yes, I think you may be right. In all of it.
  • 02-19-2018, 09:03 PM
    Alice
    Good luck Kasper!

    You might find it difficult to get back on the horse, when all your receptors are now wide open, and demanding to be fed. I am wishing you luck. It might take some time, but if I know anything about you, it is the fact that you can be quite determined. You know what you want.

    cheers,
    Alice
  • 02-19-2018, 08:44 PM
    Kasper
    I took the opportunity today to have a proper relapse all by myself. Day one tomorrow. Thanks for your kind and inspiring words Alice, it would be nice to be able not not be on the offensive when in the midst of life simple pleasures, but looks like I just need to suck that up for now and apply more focus. Wish me luck!
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