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  • 04-02-2019, 04:15 AM
    Unregistered
    U described ur situation pretty well, dead inside and have to put a happy face on. Bro I know the cure because I was there.

    U need to take on more hobbies that you choose and truly enjoy, than ur character will shine again. Changing ur perspective on work will help too.

    Yeah casino dealer I can imagine how ppl r rude. I experience the same and I think we all do and I think we all some times are rude.
  • 03-06-2019, 02:33 AM
    William
    Quote Originally Posted by Danny D View Post
    Hey There Everyone,

    I would like to introduce myself and then explain what I'm going through. My name is Danny and i'm a married 34 year old male living in Toronto.

    I have been smoking weed since I was 14 (grade 9) but have been smoking daily for 13 years. I used to enjoy it and look forward to it, but it has now become an addiction. It just became legal in Canada yesterday which is what has pushed me to quit. If I don't quit now I may never quit as it is becoming extremely accessible. I have tried to quit many times but I always fail. I lie to my friends and family about my habit but worst of all I lie to my wife. She has wanted me to stop since we met 5 years ago. I always told her I slowed down or that I stopped but it's all a lie. I hardly even have sex with my wife. It's embarrassing. I smoke every single day and when i'm not smoking i'm looking forward to the next time. When i'm almost out my anxiety goes through the roof.

    I used to be a confident, athletic, and social man who just absolutely loved life and people. Now I am isolated, anti social, have severe anxiety, and am overweight. My marriage is not doing well and thats because I put weed first, not my wife. Hell....i smoked weed on my wedding day.

    A major issue I have is being successful at work. I have zero motivation and worst of all i'm a Casino Dealer which is basically the worst job ever for anybody with bad anxiety. People are rude and I constantly have to put on a happy face even though i'm dead inside. I had other jobs but i lost motivation, and either quit or was fired. It's so hard to find a decent job these days that I can't leave because i'll be screwed. I have a mortgage and all my other bills to pay. Just thinking about going to work kills me inside.

    Basically I just need help. Im at a loss and I don't know what to do. I take several medications for depression as well as stomach issues and I don't want to take them anymore. They changed me. I'm not myself anymore. I have not been for a long time. I want to love life and be the gut I know I can be. I want to be SUCCESSFUL. I have begun to teach myself coding in hoped of a better future career. I am even thinking of going back to school part time. But again.....motivation....or lack of is killing my dreams and my relationships.

    Does anybody know if my motivation or personality will return? Will my severe anxiety get better? I don't want to feel this way anymore.

    Please help. Thank you all for listening.
    Set new goals, get rid of old habits that kill you. After all, it is no secret that smoking marijuana greatly affects mental health, apathy appears to everything. Change yourself and change everything around you: instead of kosyachka - go in for sports, instead of suffering nonsense - read a useful book. Perfection every day, and so every day. Look for goals for yourself in everything that you do, achieve them, increase your importance and self-esteem!
  • 01-09-2019, 09:23 AM
    Hyzer29
    Quote Originally Posted by Danny D View Post
    Hey Everyone,

    I have been away for a while but was on the right track for a bit. Sadly I relapsed but was strong enough to not make it last and I am again weed free (only for a few days). Im not sure why this is so hard or why weed has such a strong hold on me. I don't even have anyone to smoke with anymore, its just me. I remember when smoking weed brought my friends and I together and we hung out and just had a good time. Weed was fun, weed was a common enjoyment that allowed us to spend time together. Somehow weed became an addiction, a roadblock to friendship and slowly started to destroy my life. How can something go from great to life destroying without even realizing it? I want total my life back and I don't even want to think about this garbage anymore. It should be an easy decision....sit in my basement and be stoned, or be successful and make money and create a happy family and basically be happy with myself. The decision should be a no brainer but it isn't. What is wrong with me?

    Anyway, I just wanted to update everyone since its been a while. I know I will be okay but I just can't grasp why its so hard and why I can't let go.

    Happy New Years everyone and lets make 2019 the year we all become the people we know we can and want to be. Cheers!
    Danny D, you asked "What is wrong with me?" but your post has several statements that show what is right about you: 1) You relapsed but are back to not smoking. 2) You said, "I know I will be okay". 3) Your last sentence with a New Years wish for all ending with "Cheers!".

    Actually, the same question you asked, I asked myself day after day for months, "What is wrong with me?" Even when I asked that question, though, I knew there really was nothing "wrong" with me. I understood this was my individual response to having changed my brain chemistry with pot and I had to suffer the results of my brain readjusting. It was NOT pleasant by any means but readjustment does occur. Give it a chance. Remember, you did say, "I know I will be okay".
  • 01-03-2019, 10:00 AM
    Danny D

    Why is this so hard?

    Hey Everyone,

    I have been away for a while but was on the right track for a bit. Sadly I relapsed but was strong enough to not make it last and I am again weed free (only for a few days). Im not sure why this is so hard or why weed has such a strong hold on me. I don't even have anyone to smoke with anymore, its just me. I remember when smoking weed brought my friends and I together and we hung out and just had a good time. Weed was fun, weed was a common enjoyment that allowed us to spend time together. Somehow weed became an addiction, a roadblock to friendship and slowly started to destroy my life. How can something go from great to life destroying without even realizing it? I want total my life back and I don't even want to think about this garbage anymore. It should be an easy decision....sit in my basement and be stoned, or be successful and make money and create a happy family and basically be happy with myself. The decision should be a no brainer but it isn't. What is wrong with me?

    Anyway, I just wanted to update everyone since its been a while. I know I will be okay but I just can't grasp why its so hard and why I can't let go.

    Happy New Years everyone and lets make 2019 the year we all become the people we know we can and want to be. Cheers!
  • 12-02-2018, 06:44 AM
    Alice

    Greetings John! Great to hear from you :-)

    hey John!
    Apologies if my scary question scared you off. I prefer to believe that you have just been busy!
    It sounds like you are really delving deep into working out the person you want to be. In my opinion this kind of work is never wasted, because although it can be a bit tricky to work it out, once you know the person you want to be, then every step can bring you closer to being that person. It is easier to make decisions when you know where you are headed.

    You might be interested in doing some work on values at this soul searching stage! https://www.startofhappiness.com/und...values-part-2/
    I found this so incredibly helpful. It really opened my eyes about why I do the things I do. Let me know how you go!

    I know exactly what you mean about finding life a bit 'boring' after giving up the crap stuff. You are right of course. Weed does make the everyday, mundane, unpleasant aspects 'easy to ignore'. While that is true, I do believe that we can rise to the challenge of making our lives 'un-boring'. I personally love the newfound capacity to be 'aware' and notice the boredom.
    Unlike many, I don't own a television, so sometimes I struggle sometimes finding pleasurable and fun things to do in my leisure time. It is always so great when I do happen across another activity that I enjoy though. Recently I found art therapy, so I have been drawing again, and this is so intensely rewarding. I hope you will find some new things to add to your life too.

    By the way, if it hurts when you get up from the chair, maybe you could consider some more exercise? Do you do any at the moment? It can really help with aches and pains and joint strength. Just an idea!

    Lol, regarding the jealous fantasy relationship. Haha. My fantasy relationship is so distressed by my absence that I hear precisely diddly squat, haha.

    Hope you have a good day and talk to you soon :-) It is good to see you back in this neck of the woods too!
    Alice
  • 11-30-2018, 11:59 PM
    JWC
    Hi Alice,

    Sorry it took me so long to reply to this. Scary question you ask! lol

    My Summer was decent, thanks. Can't complain. Still dealing with sleep issues and a bit of depression, but overall, doing much better. I am trying to gain more insight into what might be the root cause of these issues, if not just the withdrawal. Although I have read that insomnia is one of the lingering symptoms and can last up to a year and a half. So who knows, maybe 6 months from now it will disappear entirely.

    I guess lately I am just dealing with my incredibly "boring" life. Being high all the time really enhanced the everyday, sort of mundane stuff and made it easy to ignore anything unpleasant or that I didn't want to deal with. I don't feel like this all the time but I definitely get into ruts of feeling like this.

    I suspect, as I approach the age of 53, that there might be typical "mid life stuff" going on as well. I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself. Shouldn't I look like I did 20 years ago? How is it that I will be 60 in just 7 short years? What do I want my 50's to look like? Who is the authentic me? What am I going to do with the rest of my life? Why does it hurt everytime I get up from the chair? You know, usual mid life crap.

    So your fantasy relationship was getting jealous of your time on here?

    I am happy to hear you pulled through your tough time and are doing better than ever. And that you are back here. :-)
    John
  • 11-07-2018, 11:41 PM
    Alice

    So good to hear you are doing well!

    Hey Admin!
    It is great to hear that life continues to be interesting! I don't envy you for biting off more than you can chew, but I hope that it means that your life is full, and dare I say rich.
    Yes! We definitely have some time to make up for! Feeling happy with life certainly feels all the more sweeter for having wasted a chunk of it. It was all a learning experience, I guess! I hope you are happy.

    It was such a nice thing that you said about me deserving my progress. Thanks so much! I will definitely try to stick around on the board to give some support and keep you posted. One of my favourite hobbies these days is reading books about psychological science. It is always nice to share what I learn if it is applicable!

    Hope you enjoy the rest of your week and chat to you soon!
    Alice :-)
  • 11-07-2018, 09:40 AM
    Cannabis Rehab Admin
    Yes I am not too bad, still biting off more than I can chew but hey that's life, I guess for some it can be all part and parcel of recovery, after all I spent enough years just smoking and watching TV!

    I hope you keep us posted, it's great to hear you are doing well as you truly deserve your progress!
  • 11-06-2018, 07:48 AM
    Alice
    Thanks so much Admin!
    I have found a whole stack of new hobbies in the process. And I am learning new stuff about my psychology each day.
    I think it was the first time that I have suffered an episode of my mental illness without any influence from cannabis. Maybe that is why I have learnt so much!
    Thanks again for your kind words. I hope you are also doing well?!
    Cheers,
    Alice
  • 11-05-2018, 06:20 AM
    Cannabis Rehab Admin
    Great to hear you are doing well Alice, even if you have had to suffer a setback to get there, sometimes it really can make you stronger, I hope you continue to stay strong and well!

    All the best,
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