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Topic Review (Newest First)

  • 03-06-2019, 02:29 AM
    William
    Quote Originally Posted by Thisisme373 View Post
    Hello everyone, I ainít been great to be honest Iíve had some bad stress, I was 3 months and 3 weeks clean but I did smoke with my friend the last two days, I was that down and stressed that I gave in to the temptation so now I have to start again. If Iím honest I donít feel massively guilty as Iíve had a really crap month and needed some relief.
    The main thing is not to give up, if there was a breakdown - nothing terrible, but henceforth try to prevent it. Honestly, I will say it on my own, then you start looking for shitty in every day in order to return to the old habit. And so more and more often, and then imperceptibly you are again in it. Therefore, do not allow your addiction and your distorted habit to be conscious of controlling you, be stronger than this and you will definitely succeed!
  • 02-27-2019, 09:21 PM
    Alice
    hi Thisisme,
    Sorry to hear you have been feeling stressed, and had a crappy month. In my experience it can be hard to come back from one or two smokes after quitting.

    It also sounds like you could really use some help in coping with stress and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Would you consider finding a psychologist that you could see locally? The ability to weather these storms and to remain moving forward towards your values would be greatly enhanced by getting some outside help.

    Quitting cannabis is one of the best first steps you can take for your mental health as it provides the foundation that everything else can grow from. However, it sounds like you are struggling to manage some of the challenges of the real world, and I would really encourage you to consider working on these coping skills at the same time, so that you find a place in the world where you feel happy and successful.

    Best,
    Alice :-)
  • 02-27-2019, 04:02 PM
    Thisisme373
    Hello everyone, I ainít been great to be honest Iíve had some bad stress, I was 3 months and 3 weeks clean but I did smoke with my friend the last two days, I was that down and stressed that I gave in to the temptation so now I have to start again. If Iím honest I donít feel massively guilty as Iíve had a really crap month and needed some relief.
  • 02-17-2019, 11:48 PM
    Alice
    Hi Thisisme,
    I guess 'luck' is like that. You can't force it to happen. But you are doing all the right things and one the biggest skills I think we can learn is that of persistence, or the ability to keep trying, to keep picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and giving it another go. It has helped me a lot in my career.
    I feel like you have had some good breaks so far, two job interviews in as many weeks and one that you actually got. I guess it will take a little patience to find the right job for you, where you are the right fit for them, but if you keep going I know you will find that sweet spot.

    I would really encourage you to try one of those mindfulness apps. Especially if you feel 'burnt out, tired and stressed'. It may take a few weeks, but it will really help you a great deal.

    What are your plans for the week? Got any more jobs you are looking at? Or just looking for others?
    Best,
    Alice
  • 02-15-2019, 06:28 PM
    Thisisme373
    Hi Alice thank you for the reply.
    By getting a break I mean getting a chance, like a chance at a decent job where I will feel comfortable and things go well for once.
    Iím gonna be honest I know absolutely nothing about meditation, I might try one of those apps, I definitely need to try something, I feel so burnt out, so tired, so stressed.
  • 02-15-2019, 04:21 PM
    Alice
    hey Thisisme,
    Sorry you didn't get the job. I really do feel like it is 'for the best' as 40 hour weeks would probably be a bit of a stress on you at the moment.

    I hear that you are feeling run down and stressed out. In terms of feeling run down, I am wondering how your diet is? Do you eat quite a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables? What have you been eating lately? Stress can also make us feel tired. If you are having trouble sleeping, I would suggest maybe some dense protein before bed. I find that a boiled egg on toast can really help me to get to sleep, especially if I am stressing. It is perfectly normal for our minds to race a bit sometimes. I haven't read the article, yet, but apparently this is a thing, so you are not alone!

    I also hear that you are at your wits end, and feel like you need a break. By 'break' do you mean a rest, or do you mean some kind of 'chance'? If you need rest, then please rest. I understand that you are having difficulty with these thoughts that are crowding out your mind and stressing you out. As uncomfortable as they are, you can learn to not pay attention to them. They are just thoughts, not commands and they can't 'hurt' you. Have you ever tried doing mindfulness meditation? It can be very relaxing and can also help you to not let your thoughts bother you. The 'Smiling Mind' app is a great one. The speaker has an Australian accent, but it is free. Alternatively the Headspace app is also good (from the UK), but after 10 sessions you need to pay.

    These kinds of mental skills are like muscles and the more we exercise the easier it will get. We can rewire our brains and we can learn to think differently, but it does take a little effort, focus and repitition in the beginning.

    Please feel that you can always come here to vent or to share your feelings. Don't bottle this up and keep it to yourself. We are here for you!!

    Best,
    Alice :-) xx
  • 02-15-2019, 09:29 AM
    Thisisme373
    So I didnít get the job, probably for the best as there was too many lies it was all a mess. Iíve just felt so run down the last few weeks, the last two nights Iíve really struggled to get to sleep due to stressing, Iíve even thought once or twice that I canít take all this anymore, I feel like I just need a break in life.
  • 02-12-2019, 01:36 AM
    Alice
    Hi thisisme,
    I appreciate that you feel stressed, it is understandable. I would just say that worrying about is not going to achieve anything. It is just going to make you more and more stressed, and this is not going to help you in your second interview. My advice to you is when that 'thought' comes up about the fact that you lied, simply say 'thanks mind. I am having the thought that. . . ' and use this as a way to defuse the thought and try to get some distance from it.
    You don't know what the outcome of this interview is going to be, and worrying about it is not going to make it any easier for you.

    With the three year break, could you put another spin on it? Some kind of half truth? Were you studying to become a better person, were you just ill? It is no ones business what kind of illness you have. That is what I say when people ask where whole chunks of my life have gone: 'I got ill'. What the illness was is absolutely none of their business.
    You could put a positive spin on it by saying that you managed your illness in such a way that you are now fit and able to work, albeit at a reduced load. I still think jumping straight into full time work might be too much.
    Good luck and let us know how you go!
    Alice :-)
  • 02-11-2019, 10:52 AM
    Thisisme373
    Hi Alice, yes I donít like lying but letís be honest if I apply for jobs saying Iíve been out of work for 3 years with depression they are most likely going to turn me away so what choice do I have really?
    I just feel so stressed about everything now, itís going to be so strange going to this second interview after they know Iíve lied.
  • 02-10-2019, 04:00 PM
    Alice
    Hey Thisisme,
    You are probably right about the fact that lying is probably not the best plan, but I think you have learnt that now. Onwards and upwards!
    Although it might be hard to go back there and face these people, I hope that you will be compassionate to yourself about your mistake and hold your head high knowing that you have done a great job quitting cannabis and making progress with your depression.
    What I want to say to you is: 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. I certainly wouldn't be writing this job opportunity off at this point, because they have asked you back for a second interview, but I do think no matter what the outcome, it is good experience, and I sincerely hope that you learn something valuable from this process.
    Hope you are having a fantastic day and have a great week too :-)
    xx Alice!
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