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Thread: Denial

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    11

    Default Denial

    I have slowly become addicted to pot and am wrestling with myself about quitting vs. reducing. I used to smoke pot socially, and now I smoke pot on any nights when I'm alone. I would rather go home after work and smoke up and watch TV than go out. I don't answer the phone when I'm high. And I'm telling my partner white lies (doesn't live with me) so I sound like I smoke less than I really do. I experience this self-hatred (couch potato, not many friends, gained weight, tired, just keeping on top of my responsibilities fueled by large coffees, lack of motivation to do anything around the house, apathy, depressed, stuck). I almost wish my addiction was worse, more noticable, because I walk around in the world and no one knows my problem. I'm the isolated urbanite who can shut my door at night and do as I please without interruption.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)



    Pot is like a lover that I don't want to say good-bye to yet, so I put off the goodbye. I've tried reducing but have little self-control. I'm at the point where I'm actually thinking that I need to detox 100% and while I wax on about it here, I don't want to say goodbye. I could go on like this for years. How does one set themselves up for a successful go at quitting? Do I stay busy every night of the week? Meetings? (not sure about the 'I have no power' thing in the 12 step model) I'm so glad I found this forum.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    174

    Default

    Hi Dorian and welcome to the forum!

    I'm very tired and I have to go to bed but I see that no one has answered your post yet.

    I'll come back but for the moment I will tell you this:

    I strongly suggest you just quit. Some people are able to gradually reduce; others (like myself) will just smoke it if it's there. And deep down, you know which category you fall into.

    The last thing I will tell you for now is this: Yes, it could go on for years. Many of us are quitting after very long time use. And let me tell you, it's very depressing to realize that BAM, 10 years (it was more than that for me) have gone by. Life is short. But life, when sober, can be so wonderful. Just quit before you forget that.

    Take care

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Thanks, green calx, for responding and hello to new people on the forum. I decided to detox now, over the holidays, because I'm busier and it's not my usual routine. This is the 1st time I'm quitting where I'm putting tools in place to hopefully increase my ability to stop smoking the drug (and for cigs but one thing at a time). Day 2. One day at a time. I have told my friend, who I typically hang out with on boxing day - pajama day with movies and getting high, that I would like to hang but out at a restaurant or event. I have talked to my girlfriend and told her the extent of my pot smoking and staying up late, falling asleep on the couch. I have asked her i can use her to talk through my cravings. I am writing here on CannabisRehab.org and will come here regularly too. When I return to work in the new year, I will need to set more things in place because work stress and weeknights on my own are two things that are entwined with my smoking. To those struggling, know that you are not alone. Use CannabisRehab.org to communicate your feelings, give and get advice and support.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    174

    Default

    Hi Dorion

    Congratulations! I'm very happy you decided to quit. And bravo for making it to day 2!

    I was going to give you advice and tips but you seem to have a very good approach. You're taking the right steps to help in your recovery. Don't get discouraged, the first week or so is very hard. But like you said, take it one day at a time. If you have a hard day, try not to question your decision and just hang on. And yes, as for quitting cigarettes, first things first, one thing at a time.

    It's a good approach to pick a moment when you can change your routine. The thing is it's christmas time and my guess is you will be seeing many people. If you find yourself getting angry at people for no apparent reason, know that it's normal. The way I dealt with that is that I warned the people around me about that. They were prepared for the raging ***** I would be for a while-and I was. Everyone is different and maybe you won't have that problem. If you do, just remind them (once you've calmed down) that they just have to be patient until you get back to your old self.

    You seem determined and you have an excellent attitude. You will get through this and you will be so proud of yourself. It'll be your own personal christmas gift to yourself!

    Take care of yourself xxx

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