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Thread: Am I addicted to marijuana? - Addiction test

  1. #11
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default

    Here's my take on the drug and dependence/addiction.

    I was a almost everyday smoker for about 6 years. It all started when I got my own place. Plenty of opportunities to see time go up in plumes of smoke. I didn't really like other drugs. Mostly pot.

    Eventually, it caught up with me, most notably in the last year and a half or so. The "magic" left, and I was smoking by myself about 90% of the time. I never really smoked copious amounts-- I wasn't a 1oz/week type guy. I could stretch an 8th through a week or so, sometimes a couple weeks. But it was good stuff, and I could maintain a high almost every day from when I got off work till when I went to sleep. But it just wasn't fun anymore. But I still kept chasing the "magic" high. I would only hang with friends who smoked weed, and would only hang at places where I could duck out and smoke a bowl. Otherwise, it just wasn't "worth" hanging out.

    My GF of 2 years was completely sober, a recovering alcoholic. I pissed that relationship down the drain because I isolated and got high all the time, and lied about it. So she left.

    I masked a lot of emotion and tried desperately to create my own defined utopia with pot. Didn't work.

    Now I am in a dilemma...

    So I quit the drug about 4 months ago after the breakup because I knew what it did to a relationship, and I was severely depressed in general. I started going to some support groups for addicts. I felt (and feel) kind of stupid for being there sometimes, especially sitting amongst the recovering heroin junkies and meth addicts, etc. I don't know why, maybe it's because I see so many people/friends who act like pot is no big deal. Maybe also because I care too much what other people think. Who knows. And- even though I seem to have had the classic symptoms of dependence, the cravings have subsided now a lot of the time. Sometimes they pop up, like if I romanticize it or get around people who are smoking the weed.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)



    I think the bitter end of that relationship "shocked" me into stopping the pot smoking. Kind of "look what I've done!!" type stuff. But I still wonder if I am an idiot for attending meetings still. Even though we don't really share what drugs we did. It seems I can still relate to a lot of life circumstances some of these people have had aside from just the using. And I am enjoying supporting people now.

    Kind of a weird spot right now. Insecurities. Should I keep going, I tell myself.

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  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    114

    Default

    Hi mate....just thought I'd share my take on things...a drug is a drug is a drug and an addiction is an addiction is an addiction....although different drugs might manifest in different ways, and pot is considered a 'soft drug', the repercussions of becoming addicted are no different than any other substance.....it just completely messes u up! The drug programs I know about all seem to involve the same sort of 12 step process..and it seems very important to long term recovery, so I wouldn't be feeling stupid for attending meetings....I'd be giving myself a pat on the back for continuing on a course that is obviously a positive, nurturing experience for you, which you enjoy attending and u can encourage and support others at...I admire that very much...and 4 months...wow! thats so incredible...well done for your effort and for your success. I've talked to alcoholics that still attend aa meetings 10 or more years after they'r sober...I suppose, like this site, those groups, like yours, are there for people whenever they need them, no matter how long you'v been staight or sober (whatever ur drug of choice happens to be). You never stop being an addict....u can choose to stop using though and stay stopped...and if the meetings help with that, then more power to them and to you! Grab onto it with both hands...some part of u probably still needs that support otherwise leaving wouldn't be a problem....and I bet the others in your group don't see you as stupid...they'r probably full of admiration for the commitment you've made, the support you give to others and how far you'v come.Good luck mate...well done...

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    the green isle of ireland-green cause of all the feckin rain-thanks atlantic!
    Posts
    130

    Thumbs down do i win a prize?!

    aye-i passed the test wi flying colours-i been postin on this sight a while and i didnt look at this thread cause i knew i was addicted to pot-
    well.........i knew i'd a problem-and smoked too much but didnt really think too hard about the addicted bit-

    dont disrespecrt ur addiction dude-if u do then it will get u again-this might sound mad-imagine u wer addicted to apples-all day every day apple apple apple-who ate my apples-do i have enough apples-wat if they have none at my local suppliers-if u spend ur life letting something u have no control of consume u then u are well and truly addicted-denial might try to change ur mind but deep down u will know about that chemical change ur substance creates in u-its not enjoyment any more wen ur addicted-its fear of going without-

    unregisterded guest-if u have a problem then u know it-irrespective of the substance u know its ther-its as real as every other addiction-keep at ur meetings-ur life being consumed by pot is as real as the heroin addict's life being consumed by heroin or the alcoholic's life being consumed by alcohol-
    the only answer to an addiction is to stop-i'm trying to get my head round that-

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    34

    Default

    Needabreak and hippychick,

    I posted the above message about insecurities before I joined. Thanks for your all's input. I appreciate the support.

    Doing better today. When I crawl out of my own head, I see things alot clearer, for what they are.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4

    Exclamation

    Do you call someone who goes to church every day a true Christian or a fanatic? If I called myself a healer and then called myself thief would it matter on-line in cyber space? Is there any problem with the way I look to you now on line? These may seem like irrelevant questions?
    In 12 step groups, such as NA, coming to terms with your identity as an addict or an alcoholic is the most important step in recovery. I wonder if the exercise of asking has more to do with the initiation into 12 steps than it has to do with some universal first understanding necessary to recovery. Another way to look at this process of healing is to ask, "how is your relationship with herbs, why are you here on CannabisRehab.org at all?" Are you happy?

    The the drug stopped working for me years ago. I want to detox permanently but have a lot of trouble after 3 months abstinence. I've been trying to detox seriously since 2005. So far I am off and on again. I'm probably an addict huh? Do I need to know if I am a really real addict or do I need to know that I am capable of quitting and staying quit. If I am an addict so what? Mostly it means I can never have just one again. I can not take one toke and enjoy it and then forget it. Maybe I'm not a really real addict (like my junkie buddies in NA) but I can say this about my own experience with pot addiction; I don't know how to have one toke and stop. I am very experienced here in this matter. I have crossed some line, years ago, that I can not deny and either I am on the bus or off of it. Each time I quit I can not imagine why I thought I needed it at least 5 times a day. Yet each time I think that I can smoke without losing control after some days of abstinence I last about a two days after the first toke. If my quit lasted less than a week I survive 2 hours before becoming an hourly smoker again who can't imagine half a day without it. I have heard depression discussed this way. I may or may not have caught a "depression" but when I was a teenager and had that spell where I did not want to live or get out of bed or eat well it sucked and I would have enjoyed a change.

    The diagnosis of addiction may not be important but I think honesty really is crucial. I am crazy for the drug and can't control myself with it despite my desire to have it easy and save a nug for the morning. Today my life only eases a little when I make a clean and total break. If it's a bad relationship break up. If your are addicted to the bad relationship get help breaking up. Are you an addict? Only you know. Why ask the question? Are you happy with your buzz, are you worried about a thing?

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    114

    Wink Confirming ur worst suspicions

    Hi mate,

    For me its more of a confirmation of what I was already thinking...that confirmation that the unsettling thoughts I was feeling, the obsession with pot...all of it..really was from my own logic and that yep, it was a problem, not just cos I was telling myself it was a problem, but because it was rite there in black and white...on a site full of problem pot users...I didn't trust myself to know anything with any certainty..including whether I was an addict.

    Many people come on here, just to have a look...some have the first dawning that it could be a problem, others don't...others have no problem with pot at all. But its not uncommon to have somebody ask that very question...Am I addicted to mj..is it really a problem for me, or am I/my partner/my family/joe bloggs down the road over-reacting??

    It was pretty much the first thread I read when I found this site...and every question made my heart sink a little more...made me feel sick...but it also increased my determination, because as you said honesty is whats really important...honesty with urself, because in the end its the only opinion that really matters in this...its an individual power to make the decison...and its an individual struggle to stop smoking pot.

    This site is great for that. But its also great in that it doesn't preach and point fingers at people, telling them ur an addict, buddy. Ur a pothead. It simply gives you the resources and the info to help those who are confused about where they really stand with their pot use...cos some people really really don't know if its an addiction and really want to....I like your way of thinking by the way...the question of are you happy with the buzz, why are u on the forum..are u truly happy about it....cos thats what it boiled down to for me also..pot didn't make me happy any more..even in the midst of the buzz, I was still depressed and hated myself and my life..the only real difference was that it seemed distant when I was stoned.

    I hope that explains things, at least a bit!! I'm really glad ur here, not only so we can help u in the journey...but I look forward to reading ur posts..I love the way u provoke thought and discussion. Rest assured that u will always be respected for your opinions here. Thats the other thing I love about this site...the mutual respect...no matter who u are, what u believe, what u'v done or where u'v come from, you will be accepted..embraced and supported and encouraged.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    9

    Default this is just what i think, wether it makes a dif is up to you

    thank you to the person above me
    addiction is a heavy thing running through my family on both sides wether it be pot, alchohol, other drugs, women, prostitutes, abuse, arguements



    if you do something a few times a night on a regular basis i would definantly say yupp you are addicted

    but generally i would say that if something is redirecting the way that you think and act around people, even just affecting your general functioning through life and even things thatwere once trivial you're addicted
    but most people as somebody said before me are in denial

    so i would say another damn good sign for addiction is when alot of different people are bringing up the habit at different times... thats if the person has any friends left from hermiting themselves up with whatever it is besides the people who are helping them digging that dark black hole in which most of the time they leave to let them clib out on their own because they just realised they have to do it to or just are still in denial

    addiction is a very selfish sneaky part of our brain convincing us that it wont hurt us like a small child reaching for that knife to go and play swords with ourselves, except it can take years before you cut yourself its only a matter of time

    people who are addicted and trying to break the habbit but struggling should think about burying themselves alive because thats what their are doing.

    there is more than one way to skin a cat after all.....

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    114

    Default

    Hi Alyce,

    Just wanted you to know that I appreciate your input..you're one of the few people on here who gives insight into the other side of the equation...makes us see just how much pot is affecting the people we claim to love...and thats so important. I'm truly sorry for what u'v been through.. what a difficult situation to be in..to be surrounded by addicts in all the different forms...to be hurt by the actions of so many other people..especially if its the people who are meant to love and protect you...to look out for your welfare...you really are an incredible person to not have followed their example. I for one will be reading the above post to remind myself that I have no right to make my kids feel like that and you're right its a very selfish thing...so thank you for your honesty mate. Thankyou for helping all of us keep real about it all.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    9

    Default

    haha thats cool
    i appreciate it, never would want anyone to think im on here to tell them off

    and it all about learning and growing remember..

    i am strong enough to say i will not be like them
    they are my family and i love them
    i dont not hate them

    they have just picked the worng road too many times and its a pitty it really is but thats their bed now

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    34

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie 108 View Post
    Do you call someone who goes to church every day a true Christian or a fanatic? If I called myself a healer and then called myself thief would it matter on-line in cyber space? Is there any problem with the way I look to you now on line? These may seem like irrelevant questions?
    In 12 step groups, such as NA, coming to terms with your identity as an addict or an alcoholic is the most important step in recovery. I wonder if the exercise of asking has more to do with the initiation into 12 steps than it has to do with some universal first understanding necessary to recovery. Another way to look at this process of healing is to ask, "how is your relationship with herbs, why are you here on CannabisRehab.org at all?" Are you happy?

    The the drug stopped working for me years ago. I want to detox permanently but have a lot of trouble after 3 months abstinence. I've been trying to detox seriously since 2005. So far I am off and on again. I'm probably an addict huh? Do I need to know if I am a really real addict or do I need to know that I am capable of quitting and staying quit. If I am an addict so what? Mostly it means I can never have just one again. I can not take one toke and enjoy it and then forget it. Maybe I'm not a really real addict (like my junkie buddies in NA) but I can say this about my own experience with pot addiction; I don't know how to have one toke and stop. I am very experienced here in this matter. I have crossed some line, years ago, that I can not deny and either I am on the bus or off of it. Each time I quit I can not imagine why I thought I needed it at least 5 times a day. Yet each time I think that I can smoke without losing control after some days of abstinence I last about a two days after the first toke. If my quit lasted less than a week I survive 2 hours before becoming an hourly smoker again who can't imagine half a day without it. I have heard depression discussed this way. I may or may not have caught a "depression" but when I was a teenager and had that spell where I did not want to live or get out of bed or eat well it sucked and I would have enjoyed a change.

    The diagnosis of addiction may not be important but I think honesty really is crucial. I am crazy for the drug and can't control myself with it despite my desire to have it easy and save a nug for the morning. Today my life only eases a little when I make a clean and total break. If it's a bad relationship break up. If your are addicted to the bad relationship get help breaking up. Are you an addict? Only you know. Why ask the question? Are you happy with your buzz, are you worried about a thing?
    Hey charlie, thanks for writing this. Glad I'm not alone.

    I'm surely addicted to weed. I have been the drug free for almost 6 months. Like you, I cannot just take one hit and be done with it. If I take one hit, I have to buy a bag. I wouldn't enjoy smoking it unless I knew I could get more for my own use.

    I am struggling right now, no doubt. I have been obsessing about getting high. I have been romanticizing the good times when high. I have been forgetting the empty, bad times.

    Sometimes I wonder if it was bad enough when I was smoking. I know that's all I looked forward to- smoking weed. And if there wasn't the drug around, I would not hang out with you. If you didn't want me to get high around you, I would not hang out with you.

    And I have gone to NA meetings too. That's also a big hangup for me. Not the meeting itself, but my continuous comparing myself to others- the "real" addicts. But I remind myself that it isn't about our drug of choice, it's about what changes we want in our lives. We all want more fulfilling lives.

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