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Thread: I Think Pot Is Ruining My Life & I don't know If I Can Quit

  1. #1
    B-Lova Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default I Think Pot Is Ruining My Life & I don't know If I Can Quit

    I've never done anything like this before, but reading other posts has given me the courage to write this. I really do think I'm addicted to pot. You hear it isn't possible, but WE know that's not true. It's not crack, heroin, coke or X, but there is no doubt in my mind that pot has gotten a hold of me and I can't seem to shake it.

    I've been smoking pot since I was 16 (I'm 36 now) with about 3 years in between without any. Over the past 5 years I feel like my life has taken a turn for the worse (with exception to my beautiful daughter who is now 4). After selling our home in one state to come back to our home town in another, my employers transfer for me didn't work out and the recession hit hard. My wife and I expecting our little girl, moved in with my parents to save money. I remained unemployed for the next 3 years applying for jobs and taking care of my daughter (MR. MOM).

    As you can imagine, left to my own devices the pothead in me found anytime was a great time to smoke weed. And I did!!!...A LOT!!!! My wife and friends also smoked so it made it that much easier. I would smoke while searching the web for jobs. I would smoke in between my daughters naps. I would smoke when my friend would come over for lunch. I would smoke at night after she went to sleep. You Get The Point!!!

    Fast forward to today and I now own my own business with my pothead partner who also happens to be my best friend. I'm in the business more out of necessity then any passion for it. I simply jumped in because after semi-looking for a job for so long and taking care of my infant daughter who started to grow up (who knew), I had to do something to help support my family. So I find myself puffing my brains out still. In the morning on the way to work. 3 hours after getting to work. During lunch. A few hours later. Then on the ride home, walking the dog, during a commercial...Again...you get the point.

    I've done this for the past few years knowing that it wasn't the smarted thing in the world, but lately I am realizing that I am seriously depressed, have anxiety issues and am truly addicted to pot. My wife says I'm not the same person I was. We are fighting a lot. Primarily because I'm lazy and tired all the time. My marriage is suffering. My work is suffering terribly. I am so easily distracted and start to zone. It takes me forever to accomplish any task. As a result, the business is not doing well.

    So, I recently decided that "I WANT TO QUIT SMOKING POT". The problem I knew I was facing was that I have no hobby's, I don't exercise and I currently take zero time for myself. It's been so long that I really have no idea what my own interests are anymore. So the thought of what I would do with all of the time that quitting would free is anxiety provoking in and of itself. But, I know that quitting is imperative. The problem is, I seriously can not get through a day without puffing.

    I decided I would quit the night before. I woke up the next morning earlier than normal and immediately began to feel anxiety at the notion of not smoking that day. I threw up while brushing my teeth. I couldn't eat anything. Coffee only. The ride to work was excruciating!!! The feelings of anxiety and depression and helplessness and despair. It was terrible. I got to work and forget it. Any chance of me being productive were lost. I was extremely edgy. I already had somewhat of a sweating issue before, but this day it was almost comical. My mind was mush. I couldn't get out of work fast enough. I had to race home and get to my "GUY" ASAP. Of course, 5 minutes into smoking I begin to feel incredibly guilty and say to myself once this batch is gone I'll try again. Then of course I don't!

    And hear I am. Writing to you guys. Asking for help to try to beat this. I really feel like an ass...a dumb-ass!!! For lacking the willpower to do this on my own. For being so weak as to not be able to get through a single day without an anxiety attack over not smoking. My hope is this that my desire to quit with perhaps some words of
    wisdom from you will help me get through the difficult time ahead. So, please...HELP!!!!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    36

    Default

    B-Lova,

    Do not feel like your case is hopeless. What you've said here pretty much mirrors what everyone on this rehab group has experienced while trying to quit. This is all perfectly normal, so don't let any of your emotions discourage you.

    The other advantage you have is that you actually signed up here to post on this forum, and by doing so, you've subconsciously admitted to yourself that you have a pot smoking problem. I was unable to quit smoking pot until I came on here and admitted to everyone (and admitting to myself) that it was a problem. This was my first major step I took towards quitting, and if you are truly serious about stopping, I think today is your first stepping stone.

    In regards to your anxiety and depression - I'll give you a little science behind it...

    it helped me a lot by researching what pot actually does to your brain & body (I suggest you research it yourself because finding out this stuff also will help you quit). In a nutshell, pot ruins natural dopamine production... and if you smoke it way too much like you have been, it leads to dopamine depletion. What pot does is artificially gives you a dopamine boost, which gives you those feel good feelings. But after awhile, your dopamine production gets so out of whack that when you smoke, you experience a surge in anxiety and depression, and when you stop smoking you also experience anxiety and depression. So it's kind of like a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Quitting WILL resolve this issue but it takes time - you'll probably take around 3 months before all this goes back to normal.

    About keeping yourself occupied - chances are your first week to 2 weeks you will be completely worthless. Lazy as hell, just begging for the day to end so you can sleep and forget about how boring life it.

    Here are some things that helped me a lot:

    - Getting back into martial arts & working out. This will give you a dopamine boost that will you get through your days, especially in the beginning.
    - Having a few beers at the end of the night for the first week... although be careful with this as it's a double edged sword.
    - Working on my business more - I suggest you funnel your effort into your business... you can't sit around idly or else your mind will wonder and thoughts of smoking pot will creep in.
    - Do more social stuff - try and and interact with sober people... join some clubs or something. It sounds stupid, but this really helped me a lot.
    - Spend more time with your kid.
    - Go on a walk at the end of the night - this helped me a lot also during my first 3 weeks of quitting. I would take my dog for a walk around the neighborhood at 2am in the morning (big 160 lb Rottweiler).
    - Coffee helped a good bit, but again, a double edged sword.
    - Watching TV at the end of the night when I was extremely board just to pass the time.
    - Commenting on this rehab group helps me a lot too.

    Another important tip is to avoid all the people you smoked pot with in the past. It'll be hard for you since it's your wife and business partner... but old friends... definitely dont hang with them for awhile. I'm over 100 days without smoking, and I went over to an old friend's house the other day who I used to smoke pot with. I've never been so tempted to smoke weed until then. Luckily I had built up a good bit of will power since quitting, so I was able to talk myself out of it.

    Lastly... one thing that was crucial to my quit smoking success was thinking about my end goal in life.

    The way I looked at it is:

    I could lead a successful, but dull & mediocre life by smoking pot all day every day... OR.... I could lead a super successful life & do things only few people in the world have the luxury of being able to experience.

    Let me explain: My best talent is making money... but when I smoke, my ambition to make money goes down quite a bit. Sure, I'm still successful at it while I smoke, but I'm a hell of a lot more ambitious when I'm not smoking.

    My goal in life (I'm 26 now) is to retire by 30... I don't want to work for anyone ever in my life... and I don't want to have any financial worries ever. I'm talking AT THE MINIMUM millions in the bank, with a residual annual income of 1-2 million a year. I still feel like I'm worth more than a couple million a year - really i'm striving for $100 million a year until I consider myself accomplished. Of course that won't happen by the time I'm 30, but by late 40s... early 50s, I know I can do it.

    I know it sounds crazy saying that I want to make $100 million a year, and perhaps it will never happen... but I know for damn sure that if I'm smoking weed every day... there's no way in hell I'll be able to make it happen.

    I keep that concept in the back of my head every time I get tempted to smoke weed again. Simply that my life is worth more than a million dollars... and if I smoke, it will never be worth more than that.

  3. #3
    Dusty Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Acceptance...

    |Hey,

    thought i'd reply to a thread. cos you say it helps. i've read a few threads this morning, as i sit in the middle of my third week signed off sick with stress. i had a panic attack on my way to work in sales a couple of weeks ago, and docotor signed me off. i've been smoking all day every since and i know i'm totally not in control of my 'habit'. i'm already worrying about going back to work. as i said, i work in sales and have done for the past year. it's stressful, cos i'm not good at sales and have stryggled to hit my targets.

    i've been smoking since i was 16 and i'm 40 in December....

    i'm single, which is hardly a surprise. i'm not gonna meet anyone in my living room!! i'm skint, no surprise there either. i spend 200 pounds a month on weed, which equates to smoking 8gms a week in the UK. i dont have many mates. the ones i do have, smoke dope. my job's too stressful. and i'm depressed. there seems to be a pattern emerging huh?

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)



    the thought of stopping smoking grass fills me with dread, and i feel i have no hope in stopping. i'm considering hypnotism but am a bit sceptical to be honest. and feel stupid that i'm not capable of doing it on my own. i'm short of breath just considering the idea. i had to stop thinkin about it. guess what i did? yeah, i had a joint!!

    it's a nightmare!! ironically, it's comforting to know that other people are feeling the same way. right now. i'm glad i've found this forum. you're right, it's good to talk.

    well done on quitting. you're more capable than me at the moment. although, i've gained strength from knowing that people who were exactly like me, have already quit.

    Cheers

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