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Thread: Weed took my soul.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    1

    Default Weed took my soul.

    I have been smoking marijuana for the past 5 years consistently. I started back in 9th grade and I have taken possibly a week break maximum during this time period. I was kicked out of my first highschool as a freshman for selling a pound of marijuana, but not arrested. My first semester at university I was caught smoking behind some apartment buildings and given a citation after being booked in county jail. I continued to smoke despite my first arrest.

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    About a month after my first run in with the police, I was arrested again, this time for felony possession with intent to distribute. I spent nearly a week in county jail this time before my parents discovered I was locked up and got me bailed out. Once again, even after the extremely life changing experience of sharing a cell with a violent offender I continued to smoke.

    I have now moved states and I attend another university. For approximately 3 months or so I remained sober, besides the occasional alcoholic drink. I felt anxious and depressed, but more so bored and unsure what to do with my time. It didn't take long before I was back into the daily routine of smoking weed daily, about an eighth or more a day (a 60 dollar a day habit in my region).

    I have now been sober for exactly 7 days Friday. I have gone back and forth between depression, anxiety, trouble eating and sleeping etc. Though things have improved. I feel unbearable guilt for what I've put my family through and I realize no one could possibly look at me the same way, as an innocent kid who had potential like I used to be. I have weed left and the only reason I guess I've lasted this long is because I've been surrounded by my parents who keep a watchful eye on me. They do not know that I have continued smoking.

    I can confidently say at this point that I am VERY addicted to weed. I would never claim that weed is like heroin or meth or something harder like that, but I am certainly addicted and I don't know what to do. I see a therapist but he doesn't seem to help, I just sit there and talk a lot about problems or my life and then I leave. Its unsatisfying and its not exactly helping me quit. I never thought I'd be the type of person with an addiction problem, and I fear it is more serious than I originally thought.

    I want to tell someone, but my life is a lie. Not even my girlfriend knows that I have been smoking everyday for the past couple of months. I wish I could just try and explain to my parents that I have a problem. My grandfatehr who I admire and respect said a while ago that he thinks I just made some bad choices and that I am not addicted. As time goes on, it seems that maybe I am addicted.

    I don't know what to do, not sure why I made this thread. It just all seems hopeless, especially when I see posts claiming that some people's brains never fully recover. If your brain doesn't fully recover what is the point of quitting at all? I want to be normal again, I want to feel normal again, I want to be back in reality.

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,014

    Default

    Hi and welcome,

    I don't have time to give you much of a reply right now as I am just halfway through cooking my lunch, I just wanted to say on the brain recovery thing is that it varies significantly, yes when you harm your brain with any drug (even legal ones) it will never be as good as it once was, but that is the same for anything and happens also with aging too, but in terms of recovery from the harm from drugs some peoples brains do much much better than others, and although it may not be 100% for anyone for many it is pretty much back as they were, depending on the individual and case concerned.

    All the best,

    All the best,
    Cannabis Rehab Admin

    If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

    My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 13 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    15

    Default

    Hi everydaytoker,

    Give up while u can, do what u have to do to give up. I have been smoking for 18 years and wish I had seen sense a long time ago.
    I am 2 weeks sober, the brain will recover, but the time I have lost will never be reclaimed.
    Weed is addictive, whether it's the habit or the weed itself it's damn addictive.
    Give up weed and over time u will learn to live ur life rather than being stoned all the time.
    I know it's easier said then done but it's worth it...the posts of people who have made it through this is what inspires me.

    Good luck!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,014

    Default

    Also you have to consider not just what the extent of your recovery will be but also that the sooner you stop the more you limit the damage, sure you may have done some harm that you may never recover from 100% but that doesn't mean you want to continue to make it worse.

    All the best,
    Cannabis Rehab Admin

    If you wish to Use then Use, Your Body Your Choice, You're NOT a Criminal and I wish you well!

    My Choice is to be Drug Rehabilitated for 13 years because I Chose to be free from its Control on me!

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