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Thread: One hit after almost a month clean... am I starting over?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    Default One hit after almost a month clean... am I starting over?

    Hi everyone, first time poster. I've been reading these forums a lot during my struggle with weed addiction and have been really inspired to see how you all support and educate each other. Thanks to those of you who share your knowledge and kindness with those of us who are still struggling.

    My story: I'm a 26 year old woman with a good (but highly stressful) career who often experiences severe depression. A couple of years ago, I started turning to weed to self-medicate, hoping it would mellow me out and allow me to relax after work. I smoked every day (1-2 bowls) for about two years, but as has happened with a lot of people, weed only made my depression worse, and it also sapped me of all of my motivation and ability to experience organic happiness. I sometimes feel like I've lost my ability to just naturally live life and enjoy it. I'm now firmly committed to quitting regular use whatever it takes, but am finding it really hard not to rationalize using off and on, especially since tons of people around me smoke. I've tried to quit a couple of times and relapsed after a couple of weeks- the withdrawal symptoms are pretty bad for me, and I usually get really depressed. I know you all know how hard it is when nothing in your life, even the things that used to make you happy, can seem to fill the void lack of dopamine production creates in your mind. This time I managed to make it 25 days and was starting to feel a lot better, even like normal human emotions were starting to come back...

    ... and of course I got cocky at a BBQ today and some people were passing a bowl around (I live in SoCal, so that's going to happen pretty much everywhere I go) and for some reason, in that moment, I felt like one hit would be okay. I didn't get particularly high, and only took one hit before I stopped myself, but now hours later I'm beating myself up and terrified that I'll go back to square one with my withdrawal symptoms, and that all of the progress I've made in the last 25 days has been for nothing. I know this sounds ridiculous but it seems almost like it would be better just to pretend like it never happened than to let this knock me back to square one.

    How do you guys motivate yourselves to keep going after a lapse? Do you start counting from square one again, or do you only do that if you "truly" relapse into addictive behavior? And should I expect that one hit will kick me right back into the acute withdrawal phase (sleeplessness, irritability, etc.) again? What have you experienced after a lapse?

    Thanks for reading.

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    36

    Default

    I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. To be honest it's now how you handle it, you can either go back to square one and continue smoking again or decide that you had a hit, enjoyed the night out of it and now won't do it again or at least for a long while. I don't see why you should end up going through withdrawal again. If you now have some again the next night and the night after then you may be in trouble but just the once and you should be fine.

    I ate a hash cookie with my friend after the first week of not smoking, I still haven't smoked since I originally stopped but despite having some cookies left I haven't had any more and that was a couple of weeks ago. The hash cookie night was a one off and didn't set me back.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    Thanks for responding lexicon! That does make me feel a little bit better. I mean there's nothing to be done about it either way if the withdrawals kick off again, but it seemed to me like it might not be catastrophic given the amount, if I can stay committed to not using again. Glad to hear you're managing to stay disciplined even though you're keeping it around (though I've always found edibles to be super different than smoking).. that takes a lot of willpower!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    hi annie, i think its safe to say no one's perfect at everything. what i mean is you may have stumbled once after 25 days of being clean.but you can always get up again and over again as long as you carry the desire to quit weeds.. just don't stumble too much that it makes you want to quit your goal of living clean.the best help you can is from yourself..but of course, we're here to support too. just be strong and keep moving forward

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    These are my thoughts. I think that after a while, you will not even be counting your days so one hit isn't important in the scheme of things. I would think to not restart your days, just keep counting and eventually, you will have 6 months or a year and this will be a distant memory. I think what's important is why you are quitting, normally it's to either quit for good or for a while and if it's for good, who cares...if it's for a while..who cares LOL?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    You should always remind yourself what made you start to recover on the first time. People makes mistakes, you can fall but you can get get up anytime you want. It starts within yourself whether it will be for lifetime or tentatively. But of course a lifetime recovery and abstinence gives a healthier lifestyle and good living journey.

  7. #7
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Response to one time relapse

    I started as a weed smoker but then started using cocaine and opiates heavy. I had like 16 days clean and took a hit off a blunt at the bus stop on the way to my brothers wedding. I don't want to start my count over and saw the response to Annie saying it was ok.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
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    53

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I started as a weed smoker but then started using cocaine and opiates heavy. I had like 16 days clean and took a hit off a blunt at the bus stop on the way to my brothers wedding. I don't want to start my count over and saw the response to Annie saying it was ok.
    16 days in a row really shows something. Nice! It's not like it was 16 hours in a row! It is OK as long as you don't repeat the one hit stuff. That'd be like playing with fire. Hopefully in the distant future you'll recall that you were weak one moment, took a bus stop hit, and it didn't make your willpower collapse and go back to being a weed smoker again. Use this incident to bolster your resolve.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)


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