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Thread: Addicted To Pot > my quit diary

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    23

    Default Addicted To Pot > my quit diary

    Greetings forum,
    I am Rob from the UK. I have smoked pot since the age of 15, I am now 33 and want to quit. I can honestly say i have not gone one day without getting stoned. I smoke whatever i like quarter oz, 8th oz or anywhere in between.

    I have really just had enough. I have come to the conclusion i cannot smoke it anymore. Im totally addicted. I smoke it to feel the false sense or normality its created. Theres no giggles anymore, no pot partys, no fun music or times where its enjoyed. I smoke on my own and spend basically what ever free time i have smoking pot.

    Don't get me wrong I have a mortgage, 2 kids, dog and a great career. Ive worked all my life since leaving school and have done a pretty good job of things. But I know the pot is holding me back.

    Ive noticed my speech is weird now a days, memory is degrading, ability to learn is depleted. I spend too much on weed £35 a day easy more if run out before im ready to be out of weed.

    So thats a quick insight into my life
    Im on day one of not smoking weed. I feel incomplete, agitated and just not quite right. I am ok so far really but know tomorrow and onwards is gonna be the real task. Im suffering withdrawel already > im not suprised. Ive loaded up with the best qual bud for as long as I can remember

    Looking forward to speaking to people in a similar situation. I am gonna need all the help i can get.

    I am gonna sack this substance off and stay sober for a long long time

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)



    Rob

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  2. #2
    FatLizard420 Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default

    Today is the morning of the second day for me, just woke up after two hours of sleep. I had a dream that someone who respects me saw me doing my regular job. Unlike yourself, I don't have the great job thing going for me. Luckily and also unlike yourself, no kids, no mortgage. I think something about our rewards system is messed up and we are unable to brush this sort of negativity off. The fear of relapsing itself can cause anxiety and lead to relapse. Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy kinda thing. Anyway, glad to hear I'm not the only one and that others are having similar troubles. Just the rest of these forms or a quick net search will turn up thousands of different stories (even though they all read pretty much the same).

    Avoid other intoxicants, I'm using cough medicine right now to prevent from coughing up sputum every 30 seconds, but I've never habituated in it's use like I have cannabis. I just keep telling myself that there are way more wicked drugs out there, both to go up and come down on, and that this one is a piece of cake by comparison. You have to hold out just the same though, so be prepared to feel like shit. I usually feel great for a couple days and then relapse when I can't find anything to do or start hanging out with other people who are stoned.

    I am looking forward to having more $, regaining a few of my friends trust as they have moved on to better things, improving my quality of work and attendance, and spending some time with my family. I don't spend time with my family because I don't want them to see me high, even though they know I get stoned. I live paycheck to paycheck, but even if I didn't, more money is always better. I don't really care about my current job, but I want to do a good job anywhere I work if possible. One of my friends in particular has grown distant from me, but has said he "doesn't feel sorry for me". Weird, I wasn't even aware that I was attempting to manipulate him in this way. Just by being forgetful and unapologetic and then excusing it with drug use gave him this impression, knowingly or not.

    I also quit drinking a few days ago, which only causes me more anxiety about getting restful sleep or coming to work soused. I want to quit smoking cigarettes, but I am unable to maintain a facade of contentment at work without a little smoke action, even with nicotine patches/gum. Maybe I can do that later when I am ready. I know I'm an addict because the first thought I had about using toothpicks was that I wouldn't look cool, as if cigarettes really looked that much better. On the bright side, I have developed a life-long tolerance to smokers and their odor!

    Best of luck to you and anyone else who feels the same way. Try to find a good reason for yourself to stay sober, I keep finding new reasons to continue abstinence with each passing day.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    81

    Default

    First of all welcome to the sight Rob & congrats on making the decision to quit the demon weed.

    I was in a similar situation to you with the length of time I had smoked but not as much quantity wise. I am now on day 76 of quitting and I can say that it does get easier as time goes by but the first 2 weeks are hard with week one being the toughest. The insomnia does make you irritable at the beginning then the weird dreams start to kick in a little later with some people getting night sweats because of heavier use.

    Looking back I would probably recommend a week off work to come to terms with all the physical & mental changes you will be going through at the beginning. Like you I have 2 young children and a dog so I just used to take everyone for long walks when the urges to smoke came to take my mind off weed and the exercise also benefitted me physically with it helping to tire me out so I could get a little quality sleep. The children can also be used as an inspiration & motivation to quit in the early days so I would say you are in a privileged position with the 2 young ones helping you along.

    Good luck for now and I wish you luck over the coming tough few days.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    23

    Default

    Hey guys thanks for the words of advice

    Im just gonna plod on i think. Being at work makes it easier in a way. As a large portion of the day melts away. Home for 6pm > just a few hours to get through

    Day 2
    Feeling okish. Im quite determined to do this > i think that is making me see past the bad bits of quitting
    Im looking forward to being able to say i have done a week without.

    I can feel the benefits already in all honesty. My debit card has stayed on the sideboard for 2 days now.

    Stay strong peeps and lets all smash these stupid habits.
    Slave to a plant. F off no more

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    32

    Default

    I am on day 7, and dealing with some of the most crippling anxiety I have ever experienced in my life, most coming from my Job and a general inability to deal with the anxiety I for so long just puffed away. I joined MA on my 2nd day and have found it to be so helpful, by getting a sponsor and working a program that has worked for others I feel like my sobriety is in good order. My life however is completely turned on its head, whether to eat, to deal with stomach pains, anxiety, depression, boredom, or a false sense of a good time, I smoked and surrounded myself with cannabis and cannabis stuff.

    We can all do this, stay strong!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    23

    Default

    Hey wick > Keep at it buddy.

    Im on day 3 now. Had the worst headache i can remember all day. Feel hot and just not fully focused. But overall not too bad at all. Sleep is pap. its not the lack of sleep, its the lieing in bed waiting for it to happen. Ive had urges to smoke > but just calmed myself down and let it pass. Had a few momments at work where i thought arghhh sod this > but again keep calm it will pass

    I think honestly if you really wanna quit that want to do it will overcome the demons. Take iit as red its gonna be hardwork. Also lets not make the mistake of demonising weed. It was fun for a long time > but now i want to stop, its now become and adiction

    Keep it up guys.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    23

    Default

    Right well its finally hit me hard now.

    God damn it > my mind is saying go get weed. Arghh. Trying to ignore it is hard

  8. #8
    James Weston Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Keep going!!!

    Hi Rob.

    My name's James Weston. I quit weed over 5 years ago having nearly ruining my life completely.

    It's a struggle but you can do it. If you want a bit of a view on what it was like for me check out my free preview of my book 'My Rehab Diary' on kindle. I published it to let others 'stoners' know that it's possible to live a clean and happy life and you're never alone.

    Feel free to message me on twitter at JamesNWlondon for any reason you may need to.

    All the best.

    James

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    23

    Default

    Thanks for all the replys peeps. Its really good to know where all in it together.

    I am in day 5 now > bed time in a hour or so. Roll on day 6.

    The last 24 hours has been pretty crap. I have to perform at work and its been hard delivering the results they look for > but i have made it to the weekend.
    Ive paced around a lot, lost a stone in weight over the last 5 days. I just keep reminding myself why i am doing this and it helps to get through it.

    Im looking forward to not handing my wages over to the dealer this month. Why were all happy to be a slave to a plant beats me. You just get so used to being stoned > My head is telling me if you smoke some buds youll be so smashed and it will be great. But in reality i know i will be disapointed with myself again.

    All this spare time is hardwork at the momment.Hopefully it will just feel like spare time rather than time i could be getting mullered by next week.

    Anyways guys and girls :
    STAY STRONG
    STAY MOTIVATED
    DONT BE A SLAVE TO A PLANT
    WATCH A FUNNY CARTOON > IT HELPS ME FOR SOME ODD REASON. TOM AND JERRY ROCKS :-)

    Rob

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    23

    Default

    day 6 is now pretty much over.

    Having bad cravings to just smoke weed > oddly I am not craving being high as such. just to smoke weed if that make sense.
    I am so hot and cant stop pacing around. I had to go in the garage to get some tools today > my pipe is in there and loads of bits of bud and green bits. I think my mind knows it there > im gonna throw it all tommorow.
    I have to put a brave face on during the day and not let up on whats really going on, i thin by the end of the day i haven't enough energy and will power to displace these feelings.

    not giving in though. Im really hoping these feeling start to lay up soon.

    But overall really chuffed i haven't smoked any ganja in nearly a week. I am not gonna let myself down and start again.

    I have accepted i am addicted to it and can never smoke it again

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