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Thread: Time to Move On

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    1

    Default Time to Move On

    Hey there folks,

    I've been smoking weed for a little over six years now. Initially, I recall smoking only two or three times each week for several months - perhaps even during that first year I kept myself from smoking on a daily basis. However, by roughly the end of my first year as a regular cannabis user, my addiction grew to a daily ritual. Unfortunately, the addiction didn't stop there and by my third year smoking pot, I was putting down 1.0-1.5 grams per day. In the last two years, I imagine I'm averaging 2-3 grams per day and I've become a dealer in order to support my habit as I smoke around $400 - $500 of weed each month. I'm barely able to support my addiction financially.

    For at least two years I've been very uncomfortable with my addiction but have been unsuccessful in all attempts to quit - lasting only ten days during my longest period of abstinence. The main difficulty I experience in trying to abstain from marijuana is what I can only describe as the most sickening, gut-wrenching stomach aches I've thus experienced in life. At this point, I'm in constant stomach pain whether I smoke weed or not but the pain is significantly lessened by smoking. I experience insomnia as well and strong mood swings but I believe these are largely symptoms of the incessant stomach pain I'm experiencing.

    During the last several weeks, I've become extremely depressed. I got a new job a couple of months ago and without any notice, I found myself utterly incapable of going in one day. I didn't call, I didn't tell anyone anything. I just stopped going. Three weeks later, I've undergone some correspondence with my employer and have been offered the job back but I find myself no more capable of going in than I was three weeks ago. The best way I can explain it is to say that I am so completely dissatisfied with my life that I can't see any reason to go to work. I can't imagine any consequence to staying home that could possibly bring any greater unhappiness to my person.

    I need to break this addiction. That fact alone is clear to me in a world that has become otherwise entirely nebulous, worthless, meaningless to me. I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist today. I'm feeling those light feelings of insanity I've heard other heavy smokers talk about. My head is constantly light and feels as though it's floating about a foot above my body - rocking back and forth in the air. I've been subsisting on old roaches that I combine into disgusting black and brown joints that taste like shit but at least I haven't re-upped. My 'customers' have been blasting my phone to pick up and I've been ignoring them for a couple of days. Soon I will work up the gusto to let them know I'm closing up shop.

    I don't know how to trust myself to abstain. I don't know how to quit. I don't know how to deal with this stomach pain. I know I could quit if it wasn't there. My stomach is a ball of raging acid. I must find relief of it. I'm a university student majoring in Biology. I'm preparing to apply to dental school and I realize now that if I don't pull myself together, my dreams will undoubtedly diminish before me. I don't know why I've chosen to write all of this save for some faint hope that someone here will sympathize with my case - perhaps even provide some advice. All good advice is most welcome. Thank you for hearing me out.

    If I stay the course, I'll keep this thread updated.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)


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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    142

    Default

    Hey there Ziedler,


    I hope that you are doing well despite the fact that you have not kept this thread updated. Please update use whether you stayed course or not. Either way, your input will be helpful to others.

    By the way, for you for you stomach pain, did you see a doctor? Have you ever tried probiotics such as Bio-k?


    I didn't call, I didn't tell anyone anything. I just stopped going. Three weeks later, I've undergone some correspondence with my employer and have been offered the job back but I find myself no more capable of going in than I was three weeks ago. The best way I can explain it is to say that I am so completely dissatisfied with my life that I can't see any reason to go to work. I can't imagine any consequence to staying home that could possibly bring any greater unhappiness to my person.
    This is what I called self destruction and it has a cause. Just out of curiosity, have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?

    Good luck and if you read this, come back, we do sympathize with you.

    Peace!

  3. #3
    Alice Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Stick with it!

    Hi there,

    It sounds as though you are in a pretty dark place, and you probably need as much support as you can get! I would agree with the previous poster who said that it would be a good idea to get your stomach pain checked out. It might be something as simple as GERD, which you can treat with diet and quitting weed, or it may be something more serious. Either way you should get it checked out.

    How did your appointment with the psychiatrist go?

    I think it will be a lot easier to quit if you have a routine and work will give your life some structure. It is probably your addiction that is making it harder to work, as your motivation levels are probably low. My advice is try to stick with it.

    wishing you all the best for your recovery. Life is so much better without weed, but it can be hard to quit. Stick close to the rehab group and post when you feel an urge. You can do this!

    Xx

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