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Thread: Alice's quit journal

  1. #391
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
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    Melbourne, Australia
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    Lol, nothing particularly interesting, hehe. Just a client launching her website and making a big fuss about it on social media, when I had thought that I had made clear that it wasn't ready for launch (miscommunication) and getting this phone call at lunch time on Monday saying it was a big disaster and the whole thing was broken and she had told everyone about it - then fixing it under intense pressure, and the stress of her being angry with me. It was some day.

    The other crazy thing is a medical issue that is pretty stressful, but that I don't want to talk about here.

    I am just a mouse of a person, really. A series of big stressful events rocks my world and taking it easy for a bit, is how I cope with it. I am actually feeling a lot better this afternoon, and ready to get into some work Lucky that I can just take a break when I need to. Lucky!

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    Hope you are having a nice evening / day I dreamt about my web teacher last night. He is a character.

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  2. #392
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
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    Sault Ste Marie Ontario
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    Hey you!

    Ya that doesn't sound fun, nothing like having your work judged before its ready. I'm sorry to hear about the medical problem, but if anybody can handle life's curve balls I think you can. I sent you a reply to your message the other day but I wasn't sure if you got it. I only mention this so you don't think I'm rude... which might be too late considering how I chased Juan off the site,... I can be a little honest sometimes, and could practice what i preach. I knew my reply was going to have an affect but I was not expecting that one. He seemed tougher so I thought a little constructive criticism might benefit future conversations. Lesson learned...

    I hope your doing well, and that you have an awesome day... don't take no sh**t

    ps. who's this web teacher???

  3. #393
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    I don't want to start a full-on conversation about this in Alices thread, so I'll be explaining myself in my own.

    Don't worry Kasper, besides the meth comment, you were spot-on.

  4. #394
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    Thanks Kasper,

    I did get your message the other day. I just haven't had time to reply as yet. I don't think you are rude at all, and I am so happy that you are up to 27 days (if I read that right). This means that you got through the weekend and unscathed. I am very proud of you!

    I didn't think your reply to Juan was off the mark, but I am glad that he is back All's well that ends well.

    Looking forward to my day! Lots of fun stuff to get into.

    The web teacher was just this fun guy on the coast who helped me start my career in the web. He was super smart and helped my knowledge go from basically nothing to on the way to competent. He is also a real relationship builder, so he was all about networking and helping people to form connections. He was absolutely instrumental in my career as it is now. And I am so glad, because I am so happy. It is nice to go to work (on the days when the sky doesn't fall in, hehe).

    Have a great day / evening / sleep yourself!

    Cheers,
    Alice

  5. #395
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    Jul 2015
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    I learnt something interesting this week. It was about boundaries. There is kind of a continuum from very rigid boundaries through healthy boundaries to collapsed boundaries. People with rigid boundaries are hard to get through to. They are uncompromising, stubborn, uncommunicative, inflexible etc. Some men can be like this, and often what happens is that women respond to this kind of behaviour with collapsed boundaries, or becoming: a pushover, weak, flexible, open, etc. It is a continuum and people often move between different areas of the spectrum. In the middle is healthy boundaries, or: communicative, assertive and compromising (safely).

    I am just writing this out, so I can start to understand it. I am looking forward to learning more about this. The rigid boundaries really hits home with me this evening. It is so inert, so inflexible. It seems like there is really nothing that anyone can do with someone who is rigid, uncommunicative and inflexible towards them, except for just let them be. Let them float down the river on their journey. It is a wall.
    I guess that is why no contact is so effective. Put up a wall of thy own.

    There must be a trick to this, and I think it includes not getting involved. And maybe it is about healthy boundaries. It is interesting.

  6. #396
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    Jan 2018
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    Funny that you talk about that. In an attempt to ego-boost, I've recently set-up a Tinder account and my 'bio' just says: 'i have no boundaries'.

    Even though I do, and yes, it would be something I'd assign more to a male character rather than a female one.

    I'm not sure to what extent you talk or think about this, but going at it from a very general perspective, there have to be boundaries, right? Like moral ones, where we are willing to not hurt others just because we disagree. And then those boundaries get smaller and smaller as we're more afraid of hurting others and in result, hurting ourselves. I would almost think that these boundaries you talk about are a form of security and they can easily get too tight if a person feels like he's been hurt too much. It's very relative so I hope I'm getting close to what you are trying to think about.

    In some way, I have a hope that people aren't ever evil (i go to extremes with these thoughts, including the most evil characters of our history and current events), they are just incredibly scared and their fears can make them terribly hurtful to others. I would kind of oppose on the not getting involved, I mean if it hurts you, than yeah, it's best not to get involved, but if you're willing, it's a good thing to try and dissolve these boundaries with sympathy, even though you can arrive at a point of frightening moral relativity. Some people, including me in the past, don't allow themselves to let go of these boundaries out of fear of exposing and getting hurt.

    As you noticed, I like to get into these long philosophical talks, in some way I'm also just venting, hope I'm not intruding.

  7. #397
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    Yes, I think you are right. Everyone needs boundaries, male and female. And they are flexible too, people are not always engaging with rigid boundaries or collapsed boundaries, they move along this continuum, especially in different domains of their lives. Some people might have a tendency for rigid or collapsed boundaries in relationships, but have more healthy boundaries in their careers and the capacity to manage people, and rise to meteoric levels in their careers. It seems that our boundaries either come from patterns in childhood, or less frequently from an influential relationship later in life.

    I guess that what we all need to do is to try and get closer to healthy boundaries at more times in their lives and in more areas of our lives. Healthy boundaries are both open and compromising, but they do not let people walk all over us too. It is easy to put up walls, when we realise that other people in our relationships have treated us badly, or have rigid boundaries, but although this might stop us from getting hurt, as you mention, it does not get us closer to the middle ground.

    I don't feel like you are intruding in this discussion. It is good to chat to you about it. I love talking about psychology too. I find it so interesting
    Hope you are feeling a bit better and have a good sleep.

  8. #398
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    Why do I get the feeling that it all got too much and everyone has caved?

    I hope you are all doing okay!

  9. #399
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    Jan 2018
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    just a feeling

  10. #400
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    Yes. It's the weekend

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