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Thread: Unsure whether I can ever accept partners addiction (sorry long)

  1. #1
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Unsure whether I can ever accept partners addiction (sorry long)

    Hello
    I was after some advice and experiences as I'm so unsure about what to do.
    I'm currently 36 wks pregnant and living with an addict. I always knew he smoked recreationally -Fri eves (didn't see an issue with this as he doesn't drink etc) but he hid from me that he's been an addict for 14 years and smoked daily. He has a good job but he lived with his mother (always am addict) and would smoke from the moment he walked through the door until bedtime.

    We moved in and there was understandably a lot of arguments. He always smokes outside and away from me, but he was getting stoned every eve and disturbing me in the early hours of the morn. It was like living with a lodger. He admitted that he hid the extent of the addiction as not to put me off. It's a massive problem and I didn't expect it.

    He has cut down a lot and we came to a compromise that he'd smoke Fri to Sun and this worked for a few weeks. I dread the wkends as I hate him smoking but I leave him alone as this is our agreement and I'm naively hoping that having a baby will reduce this further. It was a massive improvement.

    We were both on hols over Xmas and he reverted back to his old ways. He becomes so lazy on it and refused to help me xmas shopping etc. He left for a few days and smoked himself silly at his mums. He always wants to come back and I was hoping that he'd realise that he could potentially lose his new family. He does have the will power to do it, but he doesn't seem to want too.

    He managed the 'deal' last week and things have been great but he's let me down again tonight. He sees his mother as he can smoke pot there. I got upset as I know the intention of him going round and he called me a control freak etc and I don't let him out? I have no objections to him going out etc and have encouraged hobbies but that's all he's interested in.

    My due date is 2 weeks and I don't know if I can live like this. I have hobbies etc but I get paranoid to leave as, as soon as I turn my back he's high. I feel obsessed with it as I love him and the person he is when he's not stoned but he always let's me down. I can accept to some extent that it is part of him but not like this. We reached a middle ground and hes constantly relapsing and letting me down. My trust is dying.

    He's a good guy with a good heart and I love him dearly and I don't want to be a single parent but he drops me like a brick when he wants to get high. There's always some excuse, bad day or bad back etc but it's not good enough. My pregnancy has been hell due to arguements and disappointment and he just says I make it a problem and gets high. Doesn't help me.

    He's left me again tonight and I'm in 2 minds whether he should come back. He'll either learn his lesson and realise or this pattern will just continue. I'm no angel either and get nasty in arguements about it, but I'm so sick of being let down. His mum does it and says she's so relieved I'm helping him etc but she's useless as will sit there and do it with him and he buys it for her. I'm not having it around my son.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)



    Sorry for the rambling and I feel better for letting it about all out.

    I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on this

    Thanks for your time

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    85

    Default Something familiar

    Hi Unregistered,

    Welcome to the forum. I read your post and it stuck a chord with me because I am 95% similar to your partner. I have been pretty much smoking daily for 17 years. Wife, 2 kids, underperformer, procrastinator,... but a great life. Wife doesn't know. The last 3 years I have been wanting to stop very badly. My longest stretch was 38 days I think. I relapse everyday. I still want to quit weed everyday.

    Msg me private if you want to know all the tricks that your hubby could do in order to hide his weed addiction.

    For my friends reading this, I have set yet another firm stop date which is Sunday - I can do this!

    CONGRATS to everyone here, recovering or not yet

    TTMO

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