Hello, I am a Quitter of marijuana as of today,
October 11, 2016. I am creating this journal to connect with other people for encouragement and support. I have a little sister who is motivating me to quit because I want to be a better sister and role model to her.

I went to a doctor today (not a weed prescribing dr) and got some more medicqtion for my double ear infection that just wont go away.. i first got it 2 years ago after yelling at my ex so loud i almost burst my eardrum (i hadnt smoked for 2 days and he was a total ****) and then smoked an 1/25 of stress when i got home off the plane when usually im a chronic smoker. I went back to chronic after that but the infection ver quite went away .. Probly because i smoke prettty much all day every day. Is it silly of me to think i can just quit cold turkey? No. Not this time. Im seriously motivated.

I am going to kick this ear infection
I am going to be a better big sister
I am going to have more $$ for food, social life, goals, etc
Ill be a happier, healthier and have higher self esteem overall

When i was a kid, i wanted to be a singer when i grew up. My drug addict mom always had me at house parties getting molested on and woken up by random men and wed always get into arguments about her smoking pot. I remember being a kid a begging to get groceries instead of letting her spend her last $20 on pot and then she screamer and claimed that its her medicine she needed as she drove home past the grocery store. She kept her bong in the freezer and when i was hungry at home with nothing to eat, id open the fridge and despise that thing.
I mustve been about 11 years old when i started collecting change and recycling bottles from the ground off the streets and cashing it in to buy something to eat. I remember one day, my friend from down the street and I had collected what we thought was a lot for one day, probly $7-12. We bought soda and pringles and we had a feast. We put it on a tray and invited our neighbors to watch our "show" of us two skating doing tricks on our roller blandes and charged .50 cents admission to put towards snacks for the next day.
When i offered my mom food from our feast, she wouldnt eat. We never ate out at resturants or fast food and her reason was that it was too expensive and not really any good anyway. Shed cry about her sexual man problems to me after the latest one had gone while shed fix me a plate. I asked her why only a plate for me? Did she already eat? Shes skinnier than me and says shes not hungry. She yells and breaks things and throws things at me. Then she goes to her room and tells me to go away. She calls over her friends and they all sit on her bed laughing and plugging up the doorway. Then she comes in a cries and says sorry for how she treated me. She says its ok for me to sing and she wont yell at me if i dont do it while she sleeps but she sleeps all day. Theres never any food or any money bc she smokes it away and i accepted it because thats her "medicine".

For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

1-800-662-HELP (4357)

I have to quit now before i become any more like the person i said i would never grow up to be like. I feel pressed for time.