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Thread: 20+ year smoker, quit for 2 months now, have no friends, and bad anxiety

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2017

    Default 20+ year smoker, quit for 2 months now, have no friends, and bad anxiety

    Guess I'll get out all the facts first. Im 40 years old, and quit smoking weed on April 1st. I smoked for 20+ years. It's been over two months now. I have no friends anymore, mainly because all of them smoked. I started going to church every Sunday for 4 years. And I have really bad anxiety. Posting this is very difficult, and not sure if I'll even check any responses. I don't miss weed, I'm glad that I quit. Just for the reason of, I didn't want to smoke anymore. Was tired of life the way it was. I wouldn't do anything unless I had some weed. If I had no weed, I sat at home and did nothing. Didn't have the interest to do anything, unless I had some weed. Now that I have quit, I'm left with no friends, and no hobbies, and nothing interests me. I love going to church, but unable to get involved due to my anxiety. I love life, but at the same time, I hate life, because all I do is work, a really good paying job, and then come home, and do absolutely nothing. And I mean nothing. I've tried things like painting, and learning the piano, and other things, and after a few attempts, just have no interest. I could say that weed wasn't that important to me, but it was. So I guess my question is, how do I live a life without weed? Everything I do try, I have absolutely no interest. I don't want to go back to smoking, and I won't​. Thanks for any help.

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Melbourne, Australia


    Hi johndoe,

    Tough question. Congrats on two months weed free. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to check the replies to your forum message. Sometimes emails sit in my inbox for hours, because I am too scared to open them! Hehe. I hope you overcome this fear and find something nice inside. Often with anxiety it can be easier the more times you practice something like this, and it is an action, like walking to the door and opening it.

    Two months is a great accomplishment, but I think that you need more time to really realise the benefits of being weed free. It sounds like you are already noticing some benefits. It does have a bit impact on your capacity to create change in your life.

    It is really good that you have found an interest in church. If that interests you, then I hope you can overcome some of the barriers caused by your anxiety and get into it more. Have you ever seen a psychologist or therapist? They might be able to really help you with the anxiety side of things, which might make life more enjoyable for you.

    It sounds like you have really tried some different activities to develop hobbies. However, you have found no ongoing interest in these things. While giving up cannabis is not actually a cure all, over time your mind and emotions are likely to balance and you might regain some of that natural motivation. May I just ask before you started smoking cannabis was there ever a time when you were motivated and interested in the world?

    20 years is quite a reasonable amount of time to smoke and you might find that two months is not long enough to notice that your dopamine pathways are working adequately. These are the reward pathways that should give you pleasure in every day tasks and interests.

    Hang in there. If you want to develop new interests, try to think of one very small thing you can do today. Just the tiniest thing. Try to reward yourself as much as possible. It will help to develop those dopamine reward pathways.

    Lastly, be kind to yourself. You are doing great. Withdrawal takes time and you will hopefully notice more benefits soon.

    Please get in touch if you want any further support. I think you are doing a great thing!


  3. #3
    Randomguy Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Hope

    Your story mate... Just hope you are ok now and you found yourself. Would be great if you would answer anything.
    Just how are you doing...
    Best wishes,
    Random guy in a similar situation.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)

  4. #4
    Desert Newt Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Cool Pot Friends are not real friends anyhow!

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    Your story mate... Just hope you are ok now and you found yourself. Would be great if you would answer anything.
    Just how are you doing...
    Best wishes,
    Random guy in a similar situation.
    Seems after a year most folks are done with this site and posting.
    You have to assume they've moved on and whatever symptom or issues most likely resolved.?
    (or maybe they relapsed and are afraid to come back here?)
    The above original post was from a year ago...so i will believe he's moved on and not looking back!

    The friends/acquaintances we all had/have as potheads were really just co-dependent 'acquaintances'.

    the only way to be around some of the dudes i was around was to be stoned.
    Since they still puff, and i can see them go 'numb&dumb' ,conversation non-existent...unless all are stoned.
    it's too disappointing to be around them.
    Heck even the last girlfriend I had made me want to smoke constantly.
    We were not compatible and the only way I wanted to be around her was to be stoned.
    She didn’t smoke but would drink wine and become hateful.

    When i was younger, the only way i could go to a bar was to drink and join the party.
    Never could go to a bar and not drink!
    So, guess what...... i stopped going to bars years and years ago.

    I don't feel I've suffered any losses in losing my loser-pot-head friends…or drunken girlfriends for that matter!
    Even some contractor DIY folks i worked with now are hard to be around.
    I can watch their Work & Attitude degrade the moment they smoke a bowl!
    Pulling 'bonehead stoner mistakes' after smoking a bowl just unacceptable quality of life & work.

    Sure life is lonely without all the 'Bread & Circuses', but i've always been a loner type.
    Rather would hike in the Wilderness alone.

    So depending on where one comes from to start...ie
    Extrovert vs. Introvert taking away the pot brings us back there.

    I smoked mostly because i'm under constant attack from bad people who want to buy my property and harass me on a weekly basis.
    Now when i come inside frustrated...i have to deal with the stress without pot.
    and when you start to share problems with others....

    I say if one can put together 5 truly good friends...that's more than most.
    I mean 400 friends on Facebook ain't really Friends!

    • Real Friends are people whose shoulder you can cry on!
    • Would take you in if you were homeless.
    • Would listen to you and help in any way.
    • Give you the shirt off their back.
    • Give you money if they can and really never expect anything back.

    I'm attempted to find some friends by going to different churches & other group events.
    Sure i sit… feeling awkward most of the time.
    But when i leave i do feel better having shared a group experience with NON-POT HEADS!

    Mostly hiking alone allows me to focus on the bread of life and what's important.
    I feel i can hear the voice of God in the Wilderness.
    In the Wilderness all is good, nature prevails and humans and their innate flaws can't interfere.

    I don't need the constant babble of companionship and feel it's a strength not a weakness.
    Never been married and haven't even dated in 9 years...i'll turn 54 soon.
    My older brother also not married and he's my best friend.
    We still hang out, ride motorcycles, meet in the surf line up, go snowboarding together.
    Now both Sober, nothing is missing without weed!
    I suppose one day in our 60’s we’ll probably share the same property as it’s easier than living alone.

    Friends in general are over-rated IMO.
    I’ve never followed the crowd or wanted to be a leader of others.

    OK that’s my morning soapbox…now off to work alone!
    Have a great day…..i’m on week 7 of cold turkey and love it.
    Just finally gave away the last weed I had stashed yesterday to some stoner contractor types!
    All my grow gear is gone save a few light movers…..and a clone machine I built but those are soon gone too!

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